I Promise to Love You Forever
by sweetp-1
Summary: Edward promises to love Bella forever, but still, he won't let her have eternity with him. Can she live a human life with a vampire who doesn't age by her side? AU and probably a bit OOC. Twilight25 Winter 2010 entry - Multichap Fic.
1. DARK

**A/N: I decided, on a whim, to sign up for the Twi25 Round II. I'm just a little worried I may have bitten off more than I can chew but hopefully this will be a fun way to test my writing skills and push myself to try some new things. I went the multi-chaptered route so there will be 25 chapters, each inspired by one of the prompts provided. You can find more info on the Twi25 at community(dot)livejournal(dot)com/thetwilight25/**

**Grateful thanks to Betham for her fabulous red pen skills and to Vanpirenz who leaves me the most encouraging comments and makes me a better writer. **

  
The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: DARK  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own, I am just borrowing quotes and characters. No copyright infringement intended.

**I Promise to Love You Forever**

_My Dearest Edward,  
_

_  
"I promise to love you forever - every single day of forever."_

__

You told me that once, but it's taken until now for me to realize you really did mean it. When you're a silly, naive 18 year-old-girl, "forever" is a concept reserved for fairy tales and happily- ever-afters, not real life. Even now as I lie here, old and grey and waiting for death, I still can't really fathom what facing a life of eternity, a life without end, must be like.

__

But you knew, and you loved me enough to let me go. 

__

For the longest time, I resented you for that decision. I thought if you really loved me like you said you did, you would want me by your side forever. We could have had eternity in each other's arms, a love that had no end, the two of us, together - forever. Back then, I could see in your eyes there was a part of you that wanted that just as much as I did. I often used to wonder if I had begged you again, pleaded with you just one more time, if it might have been enough to change your mind. I was convinced my life was meant to have a different path and that you were keeping me from it.  


_  
There were times in my life I hated you, bitter and twisted with the ache of what I had lost._

__

There was never a minute of my life that I didn't love you. After all, I promised to love you forever, too.  


_  
I used to think you were selfish, that you were wrong and everything that happened was a huge mistake. I know now, you gave me the greatest gift of all. Your selfless choice to let me go is something I should be grateful for, not resentful. You gave me the gift of life; you gave me Mary - my pride, my joy. It's such a cliche, but she really is the light of my life. Without her, I never would have been able to live the life you wished for me. _

__

My gratitude is long overdue, I know, but please know that I forgive you. I realize now that you were right. I wouldn't have wanted my life any other way. I'm just sorry it has taken me this long to realize it.

__

Edward, there are few things I regret in my life, but if I could do anything over again, I would take back the things I said when we last saw each other. I was hurting, and I know my words hurt you. I'm sorry. I thought it would be easier if I never saw you again, that my heart would have a chance to mend itself in your absence. I thought the only way you would leave me alone was if you thought I didn't love you anymore.

__

I loved you then, just as I do now. I have loved you always.

__

I thought if you were gone, I would forget. I was wrong. Now, as my life draws to an end, all I have left are the memories - the fondest ones are those of you, and I wish that I hadn't pushed you away. I wish I could have had more images of you in my head to distract me from this dull decay they call death.

__

I wish there was more.

__

There is a part of me that wants one more visit, one more moment with you, one more smile, and, maybe if I am honest, one more kiss. There was always a part of me that wanted that. I think if you came, my heart would shatter into a million tiny pieces - it would hurt too much. I may be old and wrinkled, and knocking on death's door, but I am still a woman and a vain one at that. I don't want you to remember me as this drab and broken imitation. This isn't the me I want you to remember. I think it would hurt you too, to see me like this.  


_  
The me I want you to remember is the 17-year-old girl you fell in love with. Full of hopes and dreams, all innocence and big eyes, the clumsy, accident prone girl you rescued from a mediocre existence. The girl that gazed at you with love in her eyes as you made love to her under the stars in the meadow. The girl that cried when you played the lullaby you had written for her. The girl that was swept off her feet, madly in love, without a care in the world._

__

That was the happiest time of my life. That is the me I want you to hold on to. That is the me I want you to love forever.

__

Edward, I know my time is nearly up. The darkness will come for me soon. To be honest, I am tired and weary, and death will be a relief. I am not afraid of the end. If I had just one wish, it would be for you too, to have this peace, this conclusion, this finite version of forever. Thank you for giving me that gift too.

__

I love you,

__

Forever and Always,

__

Your Bella x

The pen fell from her fingers. Fingers that were bent and gnarled. The effort of putting those painful thoughts to paper made every part of her ache.

Her heart hurt.

She just needed to finish this and then she could sleep, hide for a little while from the pain and the aging.

The nurse's bell sat on her bedside table and she reached over to push the button, wincing as the strain of doing so left her breathless and weak.

The young nurse breezed into her room a few moments later.

"Bella?" she asked kindly. "What do you need?"

Bella hated to bother the nursing staff, but she needed to finish this.

"Can you help me with something, dear?" She really wanted to be able to do this herself, but her weakened body would no longer do as she wished.

"Of course," she smiled as she perched on the side of the bed.

Bella's breath was ragged. The letter had drained every last drop of energy from her. She could feel her eyelids beginning to droop.

"I have a letter and I need you to put it in an envelope for me. I have the address here, but I don't want you to send it until..."

"Until...after I'm gone," she continued.

"Bella...," the nurse began.

"It will be soon," she wheezed. Her voice no longer sounded like her own.

"I just need you to do this for me...please," Bella laid her head back on the pillow, the softness a momentary relief from the heaviness that was slowly pushing down on her body. Her eyes closed on their own accord and she couldn't find the will to open them again.

"Of course," the girl whispered as she took the letter from Bella's grasp.

Bella felt the nurse's hand, young and unwrinkled, smooth back the hair from her face.

She felt her pull up the blanket and tuck in the edge. _Like I used to do for Mary,_ Bella smiled fondly to herself.

She felt a touch to her hand, briefly, softly.

Then there was nothing to feel but the darkness.


	2. RED

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: RED  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own, I am just borrowing quotes and characters. No copyright infringement intended.

Bella is 19.

* * *

"How many degrees do you have, Edward?" Bella dipped her paintbrush in the paint can and looked up at the half-painted wall in front of her.

"I don't know. I think I lost count."

Edward leaned on the door frame, his hands in his pockets. Bella was wearing an old pair of ripped shorts and a pale blue tee-shirt that was so thin and worn, it looked like it might almost be see-through. Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail and she had a tie-dyed bandanna wrapped around her head. He smiled to himself. Even in these rags of clothes, she still looked as beautiful as ever. He wondered how Bella had managed to convince Alice to let her keep these clothes. Edward smiled again, watching Bella engrossed in her task, paint splattering on her bare legs as she worked.

"Really?"

Bella's question interrupted his musings about whether Bella had a secret stash of old clothes that she had hidden from Alice.

"It gives me something to do, I guess," Edward shrugged. "And it's more interesting than high school, that's for sure."

Bella found herself wondering whimsically if vampire brains ever got full. She imagined they might be like a balloon, slowly filling over the centuries, with facts and figures and useless tidbits of knowledge, until they reached a magic quota of fullness. Then all the random pieces of information acquired over hundreds of years would simply leak out again like the slow hiss of air escaping a tire.

"Don't you get bored?" Bella couldn't imagine herself completing one degree, let alone more than one. Completing the mountains of enrollment paperwork had been daunting enough - the years of study ahead of her were simply too hard to comprehend. Three years might as well be a lifetime; graduation a lofty goal light years away.

"I don't think I'll ever be bored again, Bella." Edward pulled her towards him, careful to avoid Bella's paintbrush, dripping with the white undercoat paint, and kissed the top of her head. "Not now, not with you."

"But..." Bella had been looking forward to leaving high school and going to University. Studying subjects close to her heart, surrounded by people with intellect and passion who wanted to be inspired and challenged like she did. She thought that was what Edward wanted too, but now she wasn't so sure. Could going to College for the umpteenth time still be interesting?

"Despite the fact I've already got a degree, or two, I want to do this, too, Bella. I want to share in this experience with you. You wanted to come and do this, so here we are. I want what you want," Edward assured her. Life would never be boring or dull again, not with her by his side.

"Oh." Bella resumed her painting, pushing the brush down the wall in long, languid strokes. The wall was slowly turning from sallow lemon to bright white as she covered the wall in undercoat.

"Are you sure you don't want me to, you know, help with this?" Edward asked her, a bemused glint in his eye.

"Edward, you promised. We're pretending to be an ordinary couple, remember?"

"We _are_ an ordinary couple, Bella." Edward moved to take the spare paint brush and dipped it in the paint can.

"No, we're not. You're an impossibly gorgeous _vampire _who also happens to be a multimillionaire, and I'm, well, I'm..." Bella hated that her voice was shaking, and she swallowed down the doubt and fear that lingered in the back of her mind. "I'm...just me," she whispered.

"You are not 'just' anything, Bella," Edward sighed. How could she not see how much she meant to him? She was his everything. This was a conversation he was already tired of having with her.

"So, _ordinary_ couples paint bathrooms together, huh?" he asked suddenly, attempting to lighten the mood and shift Bella's focus away from her imagined inadequacies.

"Yeah, I guess so," she laughed, thankful that Edward could distract her so easily. Today's maudlin topic of conversation had not been what she imagined they would talk about while they painted, and she was grateful for the sudden lifting of the room's atmosphere.

"So....what color did Esme talk you in to?"

"Nice try, but no. It's a surprise. You'll see soon enough," Bella smirked, enjoying the rare opportunity to have one up on Edward.

"Oh, right." Edward pretended to grumble as he began to paint the opposite wall, at an impossibly slow and human pace.

"And no cheating, Edward. I'll know if you do," Bella teased from behind him.

"You know, we could just pay someone to come and do this for us," he said as he put down his brush quietly. An instant later he was standing behind Bella. He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "I am sure there are more interesting things we could do with our time."

Bella felt her skin turn to goosebumps under Edward's icy breath.

"Ordinary couple, Edward...remember?" Bella tried to ignore what Edward's proximity was doing to her body - the throbbing between her legs, the quickening of her breath, the desire that was rushing through her veins. It took every ounce of energy she had to fight the urge to turn around and wrap her arms around his neck.

As much as she wanted to spend the rest of the day in bed with Edward and just leave the painting to a professional that they could easily afford to hire, she really just wanted this small moment of normalcy. For one small moment to be just Edward and Bella painting their new bathroom together. Not super-rich, perfect-in-every-way Edward, and Bella -the girl caught up in a fairytale.

She just needed this moment.

The past few weeks had been a dizzying blur, packed full of goodbyes and new beginnings. She and Edward had found this apartment near the campus, and with Esme's unflinching help, furnished their new home. The ease at which the Cullens lived their lives was more disturbing than Bella would ever admit to Edward, and the amount of money they had spent making a new life here made her head spin. Bella wondered if she would ever get used to being able to afford anything her heart desired.

Esme had been in her element, helping them pick furniture and linens and drapes, and buy the hundreds of other things Bella hadn't realized were required to turn the empty apartment into a home. Coordinating fabrics, complimentary color schemes, contemporary artworks - it was like Esme was speaking another language. Bella had just nodded and let Esme work her magic.

And magic it was.

Bella had to admit, despite her reservations about some of the price tags associated with the experience, Esme had transformed the empty and echoing apartment into a luxurious and comfortable home. It was perfect.

That was until Bella showered for the first time. When she wiped the steam off the mirror, the reflection that greeted her was of a sallow, washed out Bella, the pale yellow walls making her look sickly. Bella's vanity had insisted that a repaint was in order.

So, here they were. Being an ordinary couple, having a normal moment, repainting the bathroom to a shade that was more flattering to Bella's complexion.

Edward groaned at Bella's insistent tone, but he indulged her, returning to paint his side of the wall, slowly. Mostly. Bella pretended not to notice that, despite the fact Edward's wall was twice as big as her wall, he still finished first.

Autumn was still a few weeks away, the trees were still lush and green, and the air was still hot. The undercoat was dry by the following morning.

"So, you're finally going to let me see the color now?"

Edward and Bella were standing in the bathroom, walls white and nude and ready to be assaulted by paint brushes again.

"Esme doesn't know the color either, you know. I picked this," Bella said, suddenly wondering what Esme _was _going to say when she saw her color choice. It was probably best not to dwell on that.

Edward crouched down and pried open the can with his fingers. Edward's strength was still surprising, and although Bella knew he was strong, it still shocked her to see him effortlessly do things that an average human couldn't.

"Wow," Edward said as he pulled off the lid and appraised the swirling viscous liquid.

"Wow, good? Or wow, bad?" Bella chewed on the end of her little finger nervously.

"Just, not what I was expecting, that's all," Edward laughed. Esme had definitely not had a hand in this. "So, what made you pick this one?"

Bella blushed, pink flushing her skin, reminding Edward of the rose he had given Bella on their first date.

"The name of the color," she whispered, looking down at Edward from beneath her lashes, suddenly coy.

"Is that so?" Edward asked, intrigued. He lifted the paint can, careful not to slop paint over the side.

"Lusty," he read off the label on the side. "Lusty?" he quirked an eyebrow at Bella.

"I thought it was kind of fitting," Bella laughed, shrugging as she did.

Edward put down the can and grabbed her around the waist, lifting her easily off the ground into his arms and twirling her around. Her hands fell naturally into his bronze and golden hair, and she gazed down at him adoringly.

"Very fitting indeed, my sweet. Very fitting indeed."

Bella giggled as he threw her over his shoulder and ran at vampire speed to their bedroom. As walls flew past her, Bella couldn't help but think that perhaps it wasn't so bad to be anything but an ordinary couple.

The painting could wait.

* * *

A/N:  
"Lusty" is an actual paint colour by Resene. You can google it :D My own red bathroom was the inspiration for this.

25 chapters over 3 months is going to be quite the challenge for me. I am a very slow writer. So yeah, some of them are going to be short and sweet. Grateful thanks to Betham for help with punctuation and Americanizing. Thank you to Vanpirenz for her support, encouragement and beta skills.

**Thanks for reading. ****It's my birthday – reviews make great birthday presents!****  
**


	3. APATHY

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: APATHY  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight (or Midnight Sun) - I am just borrowing quotes and characters. No copyright infringement intended.

Bella is 17.

* * *

Edward Cullen was bored.

Around him, the student body was alight with prom fever. Edward failed to see how cummerbunds and corsages could be so enthralling, but apparently the teenagers around him could converse, and think, of nothing else. For weeks, it had been as if life was on hold, like there was nothing else but prom.

Everyone couldn't wait until prom.

Edward couldn't wait until prom was over.

He stalked down the corridor, grimacing at the banner that stretched above him, flamboyantly displaying the countdown to prom night at Forks High. He had a biology lab next period and needed to get his books from his locker. Books that would stay closed for the duration of Mr Banner's lecture on the stages of mitosis. Edward was well versed on everything related to cell division and would get an A+ without any effort. The only thing that required effort in high school was pretending that he hadn't already done this countless times before.

Maintaining this pretense, this illusion of an average 17-year-old, was a never-ending monotony of forced politeness and mediocrity. High school was a wearying exercise in pretending to be unexceptional. Having to continually suppress his superiority, to blend in, to hide behind this disguise, was frustrating and tiring. Edward longed to live in a world where there was no threat of exposure, where he could just be himself, where there was no risk in simply being who you were.

That was not the world Edward lived in, however. He had long ago perfected the art of displaying a calm and polite exterior that hid the _real _Edward Cullen: vampire, monster, killer.

Edward's greatest fear was that, one day, the boredom would finally crack his carefully preserved facade, and the monster that bubbled unrelentingly under the surface would erupt.

Students spilled out of the classes as he walked past, a sudden rush of warm and fragrant bodies competing for space in the narrow hallway. Edward felt his whole body tense as the scent and heat of human flesh and blood enveloped him, venom pooling in the back of his throat and his hands clenching in fists involuntarily. The need, the _instinct_, blazed through his long dormant arteries, setting his body on fire and awakening the monster within. The burning thirst was always there; despite the years of practice at containing the urges, there were times when Edward still found it difficult to be surrounded by the prey he could never have.  
_  
_

_Relax, Edward,_ he thought to himself.

A second or two passed as Edward fought to silence the images in his head and keep the killer at bay; his hands gripping soft, supple human flesh, body bent and thrashing under his iron grip, air thick with the smell of fear, pleas of mercy turning to screams of terror as his razor sharp teeth sink into taut skin, tongue ripping through flesh pulling through veins and vessels, hot sticky blood spilling freely, rusty tang flooding his mouth, gliding down his parched throat...drink, devour, drain...and then...satisfaction, and finally an end to the burn, the ache, the need...he would be sated at last...it would be so easy...to just...

Relief came in the form of a sudden surge of voices invading his head. Normally, being assaulted by the inane musings of his fellow students was a distraction, an annoyance that he worked hard to tune out. Now he was grateful for the diversion, and he could feel his muscles slowly uncoiling as he regained control. He swallowed down the venom and immersed himself in the babble of internal chatter of the humans around him.

Prom, of course. Edward rolled his eyes. It really didn't take much to get them worked up.

..._I wonder if Jessica has a date yet..._Mike Newton pondered, his back to Edward as he rifled through his locker.

_...red..no blue...no red...definitely red..._Angela Weber was considering the dresses she had tried on the day before.

_...manicure appointment booked? check! hair appointment booked? check! dress? check! shoes?...oh shit!..._Lauren Mallory was apparently finding that not everything was crossed off her to-do list.

Edward was no longer surprised by the trivialities that fascinated and occupied the students around him.

Prom the first time had been excruciating, and no matter how many times Edward repeated high school, no matter where his family relocated, it was always the same. The same high-pitched fervor, the same unrealistic expectations, music that didn't sound like music, dancing that didn't look like dancing.

Edward had long ago stopped pretending to be interested.

Jessica Stanley was interested, though, interested in Edward. Today was the day she was going to ask Edward to go to prom with her. That morning, she had taken extra care getting ready for school - curling her hair, selecting the perfect outfit that seductively accentuated all her best features, a spray or two of her new perfume, _Allure_, an extra sweep of cherry lip gloss - Jessica liked what she saw in the mirror. She was confident Edward wouldn't be able to refuse her.

_Edward Cullen and Jessica Stanley - Prom King and Queen._ Jessica could picture them standing on the stage together, smiling widely as they collected their crowns, looking radiant in their co-ordinated outfits. She would be wearing the hot pink, low-cut, fitted dress that she had found in Port Angeles, the one that made her breasts look fabulous, and Edward would be wearing a tux, of course, with a hot pink cummerbund and a hot pink carnation in his pocket.

They would be dazzling together.

Jessica sighed as she imagined her fantasy-self kissing Edward as they held each other on the dance floor, while the entire school looked on in envy. Afterwards, they would make out in the back of the limousine that her father had agreed to pay for, and Edward would confess his love for her, and maybe, just maybe, she'd finally get to lose her virginity. To _Edward Cullen_, no less. Jessica had it all worked out. Prom was going to be just perfect.

Edward cringed as Jessica's X-rated fantasies slithered into his consciousness. Briefly, he considered using his vampire speed to flee the scene, but he realized she had already seen him. The resolve in her eyes was impossible to miss, much like the smell of her overpowering, cloying perfume that burned the inside of his nostrils. Today she was wearing a ridiculous ensemble that made her look slutty and cheap. "Trying too hard" could be Jessica's middle name, he thought wryly.

"Hi, Edward," Jessica made her move. She was a little nervous; this was _the _Edward Cullen after all - gorgeous, rich, every girl's dream prom date. Not that he ever seemed to date. Edward had a reputation for being aloof, bordering on rude. He was definitely the most intimidating boy in school. Most girls worshiped him from afar, and Edward seemed to prefer things that way. Jessica had convinced herself this was simply because Edward had yet to meet the right girl. Jessica had decided _she _was the right girl.

"Jessica," Edward said flatly.

He tried to keep walking, but she moved quickly to stand right in front of him and put her hand on his arm. Would this insipid girl never get the hint? Not interested.

Not interested in human girls.

Not anymore.

A long time ago he had tried to make the impossible work - human girl and vampire boy. He could still recall the feel of feather-soft caresses on his skin, the taste of tongue and teeth against his mouth, the moans of ecstasy in his ear.

The overwhelming heat of blood and lust, an intoxicating, erotic combination of danger and release.

It had been decades since he'd taken a girl in that way, decades since he'd lost himself in the lust and been at the mercy of the ultimate high. The girls who had offered themselves to him, whispering his name as they came undone beneath him, were a nameless, faceless blur of feminine curves now, but the addictive euphoria that he had felt as he danced on the knife edge between ecstasy and death still haunted him. There was a part of Edward that would do anything to have that _power_, that control again - to hold a life in his hands at its most vulnerable. To have that delicious human fragility at his mercy again.

In those moments he had felt _alive_, reveling in the moment where he could escape this hell, this life with no end.

It wasn't that he didn't want to succumb to the oblivion of passion; he just couldn't go there again. A few moments lost in rapture weren't enough, for him, or for those girls.

They always wanted more. A night or two of sweaty rendezvous and tangled sheets - fucking with no obligation - it wasn't what they wanted, but it was all he could give. There was no future for him with a human. There would be no happily-ever-after, no fairytale romance, no marriage, no children. These were the things that girls wanted, these were the things he couldn't give them.

As much as Edward savored those experiences, appreciating the temporary freedom from the weight of his endless captivity, those girls couldn't give him what he wanted either. The emotionless encounters were a fleeting distraction, they weren't a substitute for a meaningful _relationship_. What he wanted was to be able to love with abandon, to be loved without secrets, to be fulfilled and complete.

It wasn't love if you couldn't reveal who you really were, if you were always holding back a piece of yourself, holding yourself in check. It wasn't love if you couldn't bare the darkest secret of your soul.

Eventually, Edward had turned his back on seeking out those unfulfilling moments of pleasure and all the complications they implied. They weren't enough, and in the end, it had simply become easier not to.

Unfortunately, there had been a Jessica Stanley at every high school that Edward had attended. Didn't matter the girl's name or the town, they never got the hint. They would fawn and preen, some would ogle him from a distance, others were more forthright and would practically beg for his attention, but always the same unrelenting pursuit of him despite his indifference. They soon lost focus, the unwanted attempts at courtship smudging together in a dull fog - much like the tedium of passing time. Days, weeks, months, years, decades even. Time was a curse; a featureless, unremarkable landscape of boredom. An eternity of high school was going to be the ultimate punishment for being an abomination, a purgatory that Edward had resigned himself to facing alone.

Edward believed rejection was best delivered bluntly.

"Look Jessica," Edward began, but Jessica interrupted him.

"Doyouwanttogotothepromwithme?" Jessica gasped, wincing as the words spewed out. This was not how she had imagined herself asking Edward to be her date. Fantasy-Jessica was cool, calm and collected, not to mention seductively irresistible. Fantasy-Jessica would not just blurt it out in an almost incoherent string of syllables. Jessica felt her face flush, and she suddenly wished the floor would open up and destroy all evidence of her embarrassing display.

Edward found himself feeling almost sorry for the squirming, bright-red girl in front of him. Jessica, in all her over-curled, made up glory, didn't hold any appeal to him, in fact, none of the hundreds of girls at his school did, but that wasn't any reason to be cruel. Edward was bored and apathetic, but he wasn't a bastard.

"I'm sorry, Jess, but my family...we're going to be out of town that weekend," Edward lied. His sister, Alice, was going to be fuming when she saw what he had just done. Sometimes, having a sister who could see the future was infuriating and a painful invasion of his privacy, but this time he was rather relieved he wouldn't have to deliver this news in person. He knew Alice had been looking forward to prom; but there would be others, Edward was sure that high schools would be having proms for eternity. He would promise to make it up to her.

"Oh..." Jessica couldn't think of anything else to say. This wasn't how Fantasy-Edward had replied in her imaginings. When she had rehearsed how this conversation would play out in her head, Edward had said an enthusiastic yes.

Edward leaned over conspiratorially towards her, "I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but Mike doesn't have a date yet. I overheard him in the locker room saying he was thinking of asking you." Edward couldn't remember the last time so many lies had rolled off his tongue.

"Really?" Jessica said, quickly shrugging off her dejection as she considered the possibilities of Edward's disclosure.

"Really," Edward said reassuringly as he slid past her to rejoin the throng of students making their way to the next class. Edward was relieved when the bell's shrill warning cut short any chance of further discussion with Jessica.

_...Mike is no Edward Cullen, but he is quite cute..._Jessica mused. Edward smiled as he continued on his way to class, thankful that Jessica's attentions were so easily deflected.

When Edward got to class, he was surprised to see a girl sitting at his lab table. Edward Cullen always sits alone, everyone knew this. He sighed, hoping this wasn't another ask-Edward-to-prom ambush. As he walked over to his seat, he realized he didn't recognize the girl at all. Normally, the arrival of a new student would incite a predictable frenzy of excitement amongst the other students, who would fight for attention from the 'shiny new toy'. He realized he had been going to extra efforts lately to ignore the nauseating pre-prom thoughts and must have missed the inevitable rumors about the new girl.

As he sat down, she glanced over and offered him a shy smile. She was a petite little thing, Edward thought she might only be as tall as his shoulders, if that, with long brunette hair that framed her face. Her eyes, deepest brown, sparkled as she smiled, and Edward noticed her alabaster skin was free from the make-up all the other girls at school caked themselves in. Her naturalness was refreshing, and he realized she didn't smell like chemicals like the other girls either. She just smelled like _girl_ - sweet, human, feminine.

"Hi, I'm Bella," the girl offered, her voice soft and hesitant.

"Edward Cullen," he replied.

Bella smiled again, dimples appearing in the rosy swell of her cheeks. Edward was surprised to find himself wanting to reach over and run his thumb over the blood-blush that was appearing there. Quickly he looked away, aware he had been staring at her longer than could be considered polite.

He wondered if the Cullen reputation had preceded him. What had she already heard about him? He tuned back into the thoughts that snaked and swirled the room around him. All the thoughts he could hear, he could identify as coming from students he knew. He looked over at Bella, she was frowning as she looked over the lab worksheet Mr Banner had placed on the desk. She was definitely thinking something, and yet, Edward couldn't hear her.

Bemused, he tried listening again, and again, but still nothing.

She was totally silent to him.

Edward couldn't remember this ever happening before. Normally, it took considerable effort to tune out people's inner voices. Never before had he been able to just sit with someone, in peace, in quiet, without the intrusion of knowing their every thought and motivation.

He looked over at her again. Her long hair had fallen down like a curtain between them, the light from the nearby window reflecting and bouncing off it and revealing to him the color of each individual shaft of hair; amber, mahogany, black, chestnut. He watched as she slowly flicked her hair behind her ear and stole a glance at him from beneath impossibly long lashes.

Edward wondered what she was thinking.

Suddenly, he found himself wondering where she was from, where she lived, what she liked to read, what she did with her time. Suddenly there were a million other things he wanted to know about this girl with the beautiful eyes and the silent mind.

He wanted to know everything.

Edward Cullen was intrigued.

* * *

**A/N:  
So there you go, a bit of a glimpse at what kind of Edward we've got here. I hope you enjoyed the Midnight Sun redo, it was fun to put my own spin on my favourite piece of the Twilight Saga.**

****

Just to clarify; 25 prompts, one storyline, jumping around in time. Bella's age will always be up there at the top.

****

I have the wonderful Betham to thank for commas, encouragement and support. Thank you also to Lambcullen for her help and kind words.

****

Voting is now open for the _**To Go Amongst Mad People**_** contest which feature one-shots about Alice. I have an entry but I can't tell you which one since it's an anonymous contest! There are some great reads so go check them out and vote for your favourite.**

**  
fanfiction(dot)net/~togoamongstmadpeople**


	4. COMFORT

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: COMFORT  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own, I am just borrowing quotes and characters from Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.

This is my entry for the Twilight25 Round 2: 25 prompts, 3 months, 1 storyline (but you might have noticed we're jumping around in time.)

Bella is 27.

* * *

"Could she be any more obvious?" Bella muttered under her breath, forgetting for a moment that, despite her lowered tone, Edward could still hear her.

The waitress sauntered off, with an intentional sway of her hips. Bella glared at her retreating back, wishing that looks really could kill, or maim, or make someone vanish. She wasn't fussy.

"Don't be silly, Bella," Edward had ignored the waitress's pathetic attempt at flirtation, and he couldn't understand why Bella was looking so upset.

"Don't do that," Bella snapped at him.

"Do what?"

"Make light of my feelings, that's what."

"I wasn't making..." Edward started to argue, but Bella interrupted him.

"Yes, you were. You were all _Don't be silly, Bella _like it doesn't matter to you that I'm pretty pissed off right now. She was _all over_ you, Edward. Don't pretend like you didn't notice. She couldn't have been more obvious if she'd sat in your lap and started to take her clothes off."

"Yes, I noticed, okay? And did I do anything in response? Did I encourage her in any way? Of course not," Edward sighed. His plan, for a quiet romantic evening with Bella, was suddenly falling to pieces.

Bella grabbed her glass and took a large gulp of wine. She slammed it down on the table. Wine sloshed over the side, crimson liquor staining the white tablecloth.

It reminded Bella of the color of blood.

"Look, I know you're upset, but don't be angry with me, okay? This isn't my fault. I just want us to enjoy an evening out together." Edward pleaded, desperate to salvage the evening and fix whatever had just happened to make it all go so horribly wrong.

"Fine. I won't be upset. Look at me - not upset." Bella answered sarcastically as she plastered a fake smile on her face.

Edward sighed again.

Bella refilled her wine glass and downed the whole glass in one go. The wine burned its way down her throat but didn't take away the...what was this feeling? Jealousy? Resentment? Worry? Whatever it was, it hurt. Did they have a name for feeling like you were invisible while a skank hits on your partner?

Edward watched warily as Bella poured another glass of wine. He thought himself rather adept at reading her facial expressions, having had years of practice at trying to interpret from her face what her words weren't saying. Tonight, her beautiful face was an odd mix of hurt, longing and what almost looked like betrayal.

"Bella, love. I can't read your mind, you know. You're going to have to tell me what you're thinking. I don't want you to be mad," Edward said softly.

Sometimes Bella hated the way Edward always wanted to go straight to the solution. Why did he always have to _fix _everything?

"I'm fine," Bella said quickly. She could feel the wine blurring behind her eyes, and there was a soothing warmth spreading down her arms to her fingertips.

The waitress returned to their table, bringing a steaming plate of ravioli for Bella. She plonked it in front of her without ceremony or care, before turning her attention to Edward again.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything?" Her voice was raspy, like she was intentionally trying to make it sound gravelly, and Bella noticed she'd adjusted her hair since she had taken their order.

"He's sure." Bella said adamantly as she scowled at the girl.

"Anything at all?" the girl asked suggestively, completely ignoring Bella's presence.

Edward kept his eyes on Bella. "I have everything I want, right here, thanks." He quirked his eye at Bella, as if to say _See...no encouragement_.

Bella huffed and stabbed her ravioli with her fork. She didn't have an appetite anymore.

"Well, if you think of something, you let me know, okay?" the girl smiled before sashaying back to the kitchen.

Edward ignored her and reached across the table to lay his hand on Bella's arm.

"Are you alright?" He hated to see her like this. Sometimes he wished he could hear her thoughts. It would make moments like this much easier.

"I told you - I'm fine," Bella didn't look up, but continued to stab her fork at her plate, the sound of metal hitting ceramic punctuating the air every few seconds.

Edward knew there was more to this than Bella was letting on. He had been approached by women before, and afterwards they had always laughed it off together. Usually it was no big deal.

"I want to go home now," Bella said suddenly as she shoved her half eaten meal to the side and picked up her purse. She looked at Edward expectantly.

"But you've not finished." Edward didn't want to go home yet. He was still hopeful that he could rescue the evening and return Bella to the happy mood she had been in when they arrived.

"I'm done," Bella said as she moved to stand up. She clutched her purse and stood with her arms folded as Edward hastily laid down a handful of bills, more than enough to cover the meal and a tip for the ridiculous waitress who had ruined his evening.

He sighed again and walked Bella to the car, opening her door before walking slowly to the driver side.

Bella sat and stared out of her window as Edward negotiated the streets of the bustling inner city. The blur of the street lights whizzing past made Bella feel nauseous.

"Do you want to listen to some music?" Edward asked, reaching for the car stereo.

"No," Bella said sharply. Edward pulled his hand back from the console quickly, frustrated that his attempt to divert Bella's attention had failed.

As they sped down the highway, Bella continued to stare out the window even though there was nothing to see but the black blur of a distant forest on the horizon. She knew she was being petty and probably a bit immature, but she couldn't bring herself to apologize, not yet. She wanted to stew in her anger just a little longer.

They drove the rest of the way home in a thick, uncomfortable silence.

When they pulled up at the house they had purchased that spring in a small town, on the outskirts of the city, Bella opened the car door swiftly before Edward could vamp-speed around and open it for her, slamming it loudly behind her.

Once inside, she threw her purse on the counter and searched in the fridge for something else to drink.

Edward quietly locked the door behind him and watched silently as Bella took a swig straight from the wine bottle.

"What? It's not like you're going to have any of it, is it?" Bella tipped the bottle back and took another mouthful. Edward didn't say anything, refusing to be provoked into an argument when he wasn't sure exactly what it was he would be arguing about.

Bella put the bottle on the bench and stalked past Edward without saying anything else. Edward winced as he heard her slam the bathroom door. A moment later he could hear the shower running.

Hoping the time alone and the hot water would calm her down, he went to their bedroom, removing his shoes and taking off the tie he'd worn to dinner, or the disaster-dinner, as he was now thinking of it. He sat on the edge of their bed and waited for Bella.

When she emerged from the bathroom, Edward could see immediately she had been crying. Her eyes were puffy and her skin was blotchy. He didn't say anything, not sure if drawing attention to the way she looked right now would be wise.

Bella sighed, and pulled her dressing gown tight around herself. She sat on the edge of the bed next to Edward.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she stared at the floor.

Edward pulled her into an embrace and stroked her back as Bella burst into tears. He kissed the top of her head as she sobbed and sniffed. He didn't say anything as he held her, hoping she would feel in his touch how much he loved her.

"I found a grey hair today," Bella mumbled between sobs.

Whatever Edward had expected Bella to say next, it was not that.

"Today?" Edward asked, not sure what was an appropriate response to such an unexpected outburst.

"Today. I'm getting _old_, Edward. Grey hair. Old. And that girl. That girl tonight, she thought I was too old for you. I bet she was wondering what on earth someone young and beautiful like you, was doing with someone old like me." The tears began to flow again, and Edward clutched her to his chest as the sobs wracked her body.

"I will always love you, Bella. You must know that by now," Edward whispered into her hair.

"One day I'm going to be _really _old, Edward. You just don't get it, do you? Old. As in really old. Grandmother old. Grey hair, wrinkles," Bella sobbed.

"Always." Bella could hear the conviction in Edward's voice, but she was desperate for the reassurance.

"Would you still love me when I'm old and saggy?"

"Would you still love me if I were young and had acne?" Edward asked her in return.

Bella couldn't help but laugh. "You're not getting younger you know, Edward. That isn't the issue here. And besides, vampires are sickeningly free of blemishes."

"True. Hypothetically speaking though, you would still love me even if I was afraid of what's under the stairs? Or if I was to end up wetting the bed?" Edward smiled at her.

"Always," Bella smiled.

"You're the only one I will ever want, Bella. No matter what color your hair is."

Bella sighed. "It's not just hair color, Edward. I won't be able to do the things you want to do. I'll look like your grandmother, how are you going to explain that to people?"

"And I might get fat with middle-age spread," she added as an afterthought.

"Always." Edward said emphatically. He honestly could not imagine any incarnation of Bella that he wouldn't love. He loved who she was, not what she looked like. There was no doubt in his mind that he would always love her, no matter what.

Bella wrapped her arms around Edward, drawing strength from his cold, impenetrable frame, and took a deep breath. He always knew just what to say.

"Always," she whispered, content for the moment to be comforted by Edward's promises.

* * *

**A/N:  
This chapter was one I've had in my head for awhile****,**** and was where my story outline grew from. I was inspired by The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and played around with 2 lines of dialogue from the movie.**

**Thank you to my beta, Betham, who fixes my mistakes and never complains when I get the comma thing all wrong.******

I am helping out with the _**With A Burning Heart**_**, Twilympics o/s contest that will open for voting during the Winter Olympics, Feb 2010. Entries due in 7 Feb! Link on my profile.**


	5. WILLING

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: WILLING  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters. No copyright infringement intended.

Bella is 17.

* * *

Dear Diary...

Renee bought me this beautiful, intimidating, blank book. I guess it's a diary. A diary sounds like something an 11-year-old girl would own.

I'm 17, and my Mom is a fruit loop who muttered something about catharsis and personal growth when she gave it to me. I think she meant, if I wrote things down, it might make "the move" easier for me. Tomorrow I leave Renee, Phil and Phoenix, and move to Forks with my Dad.

_Bella's Book of thoughts and other stuff_

**Bella's Book of Travels, Hopes and Daydreams **

A book about new beginnings.

A book about not being afraid.

* * *

Renee's been crying all afternoon, and her face is lined with tiny silver tear tracks.

I'm hiding in my room, pretending to be doing some last-minute packing, when really I did it all yesterday.

Phil keeps asking me when I need to be at the airport. I want to yell at him to check the itinerary I put on the fridge, but I think he just doesn't know what else to say.

My entire life is reduced to two suitcases of clothes and four boxes, full of books and other teenage miscellany.

I'm nervous, excited, and I just want to go now.

* * *

I'm on the plane. The air is hot and stale. The old man next to me has been snoring for the past hour. I can't sleep.

Saying goodbye injured my heart, but I know this was the right decision. Renee and Phil need a chance to be newly-weds without a teenage chaperone. I'd just be a burden, complicating their plans.

Dad rang this morning. I can't wait to see him again. It seems so strange to think this time, it's not a holiday. It's real. I won't be leaving at the end of two weeks.

Now he won't be alone anymore.

* * *

Forks is greener than I remember, and the clouds are lower. I forgot how the fog seeps into your bones, and chills you from the inside out. None of my clothes from (home) Phoenix, are going to work. I'll freeze to death.

My room looks the same. There's a photo on the dresser of me fishing with Dad. All my memories of living here are hazy and foggy, but I do remember going out in the boat.

And the sound of the rain on the roof as I slept.

Dad has more grey hair, but not much else has changed.

* * *

I start school today. I'm not as nervous as I thought I would be. I've unpacked, I've cooked and cleaned, I've been for a (short) drive around town. Starting school is the only thing left to do on my "Settling into my New Home" list.

My course list looks much the same as in Phoenix, and with the exception of gym, I'm looking forward to getting back into study. There isn't much else to do here, and there is only so much fishing talk I can listen to.

I need to get this 'meeting new people' thing over and done with.

* * *

So, today wasn't so bad. I met a girl, Angela, who seems nice and she's in a couple of my classes. She took pity on me, and showed me around, and gave me the run-down on how things work here. It's enough of a change to be refreshing, but not enough that it's too weird.

Prom is next weekend, and that is all anyone talked about today. I am glad my status as the 'new girl' isn't as exciting as the pre-prom hype, and I managed not to be subjected to too much embarrassing scrutiny.

I wonder if they do singles tickets.

* * *

Renee called tonight, and cried the whole time we spoke. Talk about uncomfortable, never-ending guilt fest. She keeps blaming herself that I left, that she somehow forced me into it.

No matter how many times I tell her, she doesn't want to hear that this was _my choice_. I wanted to come here. I made the decision willingly.

The truth is, it's kind of liberating to be the daughter and not the pseudo-mother. I love Renee, but sometimes she drives me crazy with her hare-brained schemes and carefree attitude.

With Dad, what you see is what you get. I love it.

* * *

The most beautiful boy in the whole world sits next to me in Biology. His eyes are an intriguing shade of amber, and his hair is thick and messy, like he spends all day running his hands through it. I want to run _my _fingers through it.

I swear I caught him staring at me, and my heart did a flip.

He's gorgeous, and tall, and impossibly... _perfect_.

I asked Angela about him, and she told me he doesn't date, and that there are rumors he is gay. She said he was nice but keeps to himself.

His name is Edward Cullen.

* * *

School today was good.

Edward Cullen had a mid-semester course change and is now in my English class, too. I'm already seated next to Angela, but he sits behind me. For the entire duration of class, it felt like someone was watching me - that prickly goose-bump feeling like there are eyes on you.

I imagined it was Edward that was watching me.

His locker is near mine and he keeps it tidy. I wish there were some posters or photographs inside. I want to know more about him.

I want to know everything about him.

We have Bio again tomorrow.

* * *

Edward invited me to sit with him at lunch. He has a sister, Alice, who is lovely - even offering to take me shopping in Port Angeles to get some warmer clothes.

I get the feeling money is not an issue for the Cullens.

After lunch, Edward walked me to Bio and carried my books. I've never had a boy do that for me before.

A girl spewing vitriol, Jessica Something-or-other, told me not to waste my time on him because he thinks he's better than everyone else.

I can't think of anyone else I would rather waste my time on.

* * *

Today in Bio, Edward asked me lots of questions about myself. I don't know what this might mean, if anything. He doesn't give much away, and most of what I know about him, I learned from Angela.

Edward lives just out of town with his adopted brother and sister, Alice and Jasper. They are a couple, which I think is kind of weird, but no-one here seems to care. His Dad is a doctor. The Cullens go hiking and camping when the weather is good. Edward is a straight-A student, but he doesn't have many friends.

I need to know more.

* * *

I'm supposed to be doing homework but I can't concentrate.

Edward Cullen consumes my every thought. I never expected to come here and end up so thoroughly confused, and captivated, by a (gorgeous, Adonis-like) boy.

What the hell is the deal with him? I can't tell if he's interested in me, or not. Sometimes he stares at me like he's trying to see inside my soul. Sometimes he barely acknowledges me.

Tomorrow, I'm going to ask him to prom. I guess I will find out one way or the other.

I'm terrified he will say no. I'm terrified he will say yes.

* * *

I'm so nervous I think I might vomit. What if he says No? I don't think I could cope with that kind of rejection. Maybe I just shouldn't bother. If he wanted to go to prom he would already have a date, right? It's this week, after all. Angela said he definitely wasn't going so...Maybe he is gay. That would explain his impeccable taste in clothes, I guess.

**I am not afraid of Edward Cullen. He is just a boy.**

What's the worst that can happen? He says No and I embarrass myself. No biggie.

_Deep breath, Bella. You can do this._

* * *

Oh. My. God! He said YES!!!

Edward Cullen is going to prom _with me_.

I've never been to a prom before, I have no idea what to do, what to arrange. I have nothing to wear and no shoes. I'm completely out of my depth here. All I know is that I am pretty bloody happy right now.

Edward Cullen makes me lose all rational thought, but about three things I am absolutely positive;

First, coming to live in Forks is the best decision I have ever made.

Second, Edward Cullen is definitely NOT gay.

And third, I am unconditionally and irrevocably infatuated with him.

* * *

**A/N:  
One of the options for Twi25 II was to do 25 (unrelated) 100-word drabbles. Obviously I chose to do the multi-chaptered option but I thought I'd try my hand at drabble writing for this chapter of my story. It was much harder than I anticipated! InABlueBathrobe did a much better version of drabble diary entries in Delta of Mercury (in my faves) and I hope she doesn't mind me borrowing her idea, just this once.**

**Thank you to my wonderful beta, Betham, who has a knack for hyphenation and to Vanpirenz for her encouragement.**

**Reviews make me smile!**


	6. WORRY

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: WORRY  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters. I do however, own a piece of green sea glass that I found when I was ten.

Bella is 34.

* * *

The sand crunched beneath her feet, and Bella could feel the coarse grains scratching and shifting between her toes.

She pulled on Edward's hand, "Come on, let's go walk in the water for awhile."

He smiled as she ran from him towards the water. The cool, sea breeze blew her hair behind her in long wisps, and he could almost imagine what she must have looked like as a small child, running carefree on the beach.

When she reached the shallows, she kicked her feet up, laughing as the cold salty water splashed against her legs.

"Are you coming in?" Bella called to him as she danced, water flying up around her like a shower of sparks.

Edward laughed, and appeared next to her suddenly.

He kicked his own feet in her direction, and she squealed as the sprays of water covered almost her whole body. They traded splashes, insults and laughter for a few minutes before continuing their walk along the shoreline.

They wandered slowly, without purpose, stopping every now and then to pick up a pretty shell or polished rock. It was summer, and the day was warm even though the sky was overcast. Rainclouds loomed ominously on the horizon, scaring away all but the bravest of beach-goers. Bella and Edward were enjoying having the whole beach to themselves.

Bella stopped suddenly, a glint in the sand catching her eye. She reached down and retrieved a small piece of green sea glass, its surface blunt and worn, smoothed by the perpetual caresses of the ocean.

"Wow, it's so pretty," Bella exclaimed, as she held it in her hand. "You know, Dad used to have a whole collection of beach glass. When he used to go fishing off the coast at La Push, he'd often come home with a piece or two. He had a whole shoebox full of it."

Bella turned the small shard of glass over in her hand, admiring the different hues of green on its frosted surface.

"I haven't thought about that for years. He used to let me play with them, when I stayed with him for the holidays when I was just a girl. I used to line them up on the table, and sort them into colors."

She wondered how long it had been tossed and tumbled by the sea, before coming to rest on this beach. How long had it laid there, waiting for her to find it?

"They used to make Dr Pepper in bottles that color," Edward said, as he peered over her shoulder.

"Really?" Bella asked. "I didn't know that."

"A long time ago," Edward said softly.

"Oh, look, Edward. It sparkles!" Bella held the glass up to the sky, light refracting off the polished surface as it glistened and sparkled in her fingertips.

Edward grimaced as Bella held the glass above her. She was obviously enchanted by the way it had seemed to come to life in her hand. It looked as though it were almost animated as it flickered and flashed - like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in its surface. The parallels were obvious; he tried in vain to dismiss them, but he couldn't help looking at the glass in disdain.

"Mermaid's tears. That's what Dad used to call it. Beach glass - it's called mermaid's tears."

"There are no such things as mermaids, Bella," Edward laughed as he took her hand in his again, and started to walk.

"I used to believe there were no such thing as vampires, " Bella retorted as she put the piece of glass in her pocket to take home.

Just then, a huge dog bounded along the surf towards them. It looked as though it was going to come right up to them before it suddenly veered away, giving them a wide berth, and running past them.

Edward chuckled. _Nothing to fear here, I can't stand the smell of dog_, he smirked to himself.

Caught up in admiring her pretty find, Bella hadn't noticed a family approaching them from the other end of the beach. Quickly, she pulled her hand from Edward's, and smiled as they passed by, giving them a little wave.

As the woman walked past her, Bella noticed she was wearing some sort of baby carrier pack. On her back, a little baby was fast asleep, its soft chubby cheeks squished against its mother's back, a look of utter contentment as it dozed, oblivious to the world. Bella felt a familiar, unsettling pang in her chest. Everywhere she went lately, there seemed to be multitudes of pregnant women, tiny babies, families, children; like there was some sort of baby boom that included everyone around her.

Everyone except her.

Bella buried the thought as quickly as it appeared, but she couldn't help but glance back at the family wistfully.

The little girl that had walked past her a moment ago, with bucket in hand, sand colored water spilling over the side, was now being swooped through the air in her father's strong arms. He lifted her high above him, and settled her on his shoulders.

"Faster, Daddy! Faster!" Bella could hear her giggling as they ran along the water's edge to catch up to the dog that was waiting for them further up the beach.

"Since when do you not hold my hand in public anymore?" Edward asked suddenly. His question took her by surprise and she reluctantly averted her eyes from the happy family in front of her.

"Since I'm old enough to be your mother, Edward, that's when. It feels weird now, like it's wrong or something, " Bella muttered absentmindedly as she tried to ignore the sudden overwhelming yearning that threatened to take her breath away.

Bella's offhand comment stung like a slap in the face. Edward didn't say anything, not sure how to process what Bella had just said. He knew she was getting self-conscious about her age, but never did he think she would use the word _wrong_.

Of course, Edward knew that Bella was getting older with every birthday she refused to celebrate. She was no longer the skinny, naive teenager he fell in love with in high school. She was a woman now, her curves were more pronounced, everything was rounder, softer. Edward loved the sensuality of Bella's body; he loved to run his hands over the flare of her hips, the swell of her ass. He knew she hated the changes that time had imposed on her body, but he thought she was glorious - curvy, feminine, _woman_. 17-year-old Bella had been a sweet girl. 34-year-old Bella was a feisty and determined woman, with a grace and confidence that can only come with age and life experience.

Edward kicked at a pile of sand, thinking about how he had watched Bella change and grow over the years. With every passing minute, he had only found more things to love about her. He never really thought about how old she was, or how old he was, literally or figuratively. Age was irrelevant to him. He found it easier to face eternity when he wasn't constantly marking off time in infinitesimal increments.

Sometimes, he forgot that Bella had a different view on the passing of time.

"Do you really think that?" he asked her, studying her face, looking there for the answers as well.

"Think what?"

"That we're wrong."

"No, of course not," Bella said quickly, instantly regretting her choice of words . It wasn't so much that things were wrong now, just... _awkward_.

While she knew that on the _inside_, Edward was significantly older than she was, on the outside he still looked like a young man. A 17-year-old teenager. A boy.

Every time Bella looked in the mirror, and saw the time-ravaged reflection that greeted her, it only reinforced the ever-growing age gap between them. With every second, of every day, the chasm got larger.

Bella's bathroom cabinet was stocked full of the finest skin care products and anti-aging creams that money could buy, but there was no cream, no tonic, no magic cure, that could change the fact that she was aging and Edward was not.

"It's just...I don't want to draw attention to us. Imagine how it must look," she attempted to explain.

"I don't give a fuck what people think," Edward snapped at her.

"Look, I don't want to talk about this now. Can't we just go back to enjoying our walk?" Bella was tired and was in no mood for a fight. She could feel her skin prickling under Edward's gaze, and knew he was studying her face, searching for something. She wasn't sure if it was reassurance he wanted, or the truth.

"Well, I do want to talk about it now. Jesus, Bella, you've basically just admitted you're ashamed of our relationship, " Edward said, unwilling to let the subject drop.

"I'm not ashamed!" Bella spun around to face him. "How dare you put words in my mouth. All I said was I'm not comfortable with public displays of affection anymore."

"Because you're worried what people, _we don't even know_, might think?" Edward asked in disgust. He shook his head; her lack of self-confidence never ceased to amaze him. One minute she was in control, strong, resilient and then, seemingly in a heartbeat, she was insecure and worried about the opinions of people who didn't matter.

Bella had to admit to herself that what Edward had said was, in fact, the truth. She _was _worried what people thought. She had always shied away from being the center of attention, hating to be in the limelight, uncomfortable under the scrutiny like she was afraid of what people might find if they looked hard enough; like she wouldn't measure up. Edward, on the other hand, was gorgeous and turned heads wherever he went. She was used to hiding in the shadows while he walked under a spotlight of attention. He was always center stage, the star of the show, and she was a bit-part extra, silent and invisible. He never seemed to notice, or perhaps he simply didn't care, but she saw the way people looked at him. Everything about him drew people in; his beauty, the ease with which he carried himself, even his voice was gravelly, deep and inviting. Everything about him made people catch their breath, take another look, want to be near him, and yet, there was an air of intrigue and danger that surrounded him; a storm of something dark brewing beneath his other-worldly features. People found themselves all at once afraid and attracted to him; poor unsuspecting humans didn't stand a chance.

That kind of attention was not something she ever wanted turned on her, for whatever reason.

"There's a word for women like me, you know, " Bella said harshly. She dug her hands deep into the pockets of her cardigan.

"Intelligent? Beautiful? Sexy? Because you're all of those things, Bella, " Edward touched her cheek tenderly, hoping it would help to melt Bella's defensive posture.

"Cougar. They call women like me, cougars. Older woman, younger man. It's not meant to be complimentary." Bella shivered and hunched her shoulders against the rising wind. The clouds were closer now, and the air crackled with the smell of rain.

"Well, you know I am a bit partial to a piece of mountain lion," Edward said dryly.

Bella couldn't help but smile.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean it like that. It's just, you always seem so oblivious to the age thing, and it's not that easy for me. It's different now, and I'm just...trying to wrap my head around how things are," she said softly, as she took his hand from her cheek and held it in her hands. "I love you." She brought his hand up to her mouth and placed a kiss on his knuckles.

Fat drops of rain began to fall, splashing on the sand like little splatters of black paint. In the distance, they could hear the boom and rumble of thunder.

"Come on," Edward said as he grabbed her hand, "we better make a run for it."

Bella did her best to keep up, but Edward could never completely reign in his natural speed, and she soon fell behind. Her hair was completely soaked, streams of water ran into her eyes, and she shivered as droplets of rain ran down the back of her neck.

Edward turned back for her and hoisted her effortlessly onto his back. Gratefully, she wrapped her arms around his neck. As he began to run, she nestled her head into the crook of his neck, taking a deep, comforting breath of _Edward _and shut her eyes tight.

In that moment, as the world rushed past her in a blur, Bella could almost ignore the insidious unease that lurked deep inside her, the uncomfortable little ache that wormed and worried against her bones. For the briefest of moments, she convinced herself that there was nothing unbalanced or unnatural about their relationship.

In that instant, all that mattered was that they loved each other.

In that instant, there was nothing to fear from the future.

* * *

**A/N:  
As always, grateful thanks to Betham and Vanpirenz for their beta skills and support. They make everything prettier.**

My Alice one-shot, The Secret Keeper, placed 4th in the contest and I've now uploaded it to my own profile. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Reviews are better than walks on the beach with Edward. 


	7. BOUND

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: BOUND  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Consider this your warning: This fic is rated M for a reason.

Bella is 21.

* * *

"I still can't believe I'm really here," Bella sighed. "It's so..."

Hundreds of words swirled inside her head, but none of them seemed adequate.

"It's so..." She tried again, but gave up when she couldn't find a word that would do it justice.

"Is it too much?" Edward moved to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Bella was rarely lost for words, and it amused him to see her so overwhelmed and flustered. He kissed the side of her temple softly.

"It's perfect, Edward. Thank you." Bella swung around, flinging her arms around Edward's neck and kissing him passionately, pouring all her enthusiasm and gratitude into her embrace. Words were failing her, but she hoped Edward would know how much this meant to her.

"I've wanted to bring you here for a long time. I know how much you wanted to come here, " Edward said as he watched little pearls of happiness slide down Bella's cheeks. He cradled her face tenderly in his hands, brushing away the tears with his thumbs.

"I waited because I didn't want you to come for a short holiday, and then have to rush back home again. I wanted to wait until you were finished with school, so you could relax and enjoy yourself, without always thinking about what's waiting for you when you get back. Of course, waiting until winter was also a good idea," Edward explained tenderly. Bella's eyes were sparkling with excitement and wonder; she was overwhelmed, and utterly adorable.

"I wanted," he placed a kiss on her cheek, tasting the little streak of salty happiness,"to give you," he kissed the other cheek, "the perfect," he kissed the tip of her nose, "graduation present." He finished with a smile, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"It is perfect, Edward. Just perfect, " Bella said, with a wide smile on her face. She turned, wrapping Edward's arms around her again and leaned back against his chest. She sighed, content and blissful, as she took in the breathtaking view from their tiny balcony.

Paris at twilight was even more amazing than what she had imagined. Twinkling lights stretched out to the horizon, as if the stars themselves had fallen from the sky to decorate the city.

Edward was right; this was the perfect present.

"We can stay for as long as you want," he whispered in her ear.

"I think I'd like that," she replied with a grin.

A knock from inside their hotel suite interrupted their loving moment.

"That will be room service. I ordered you something, if that's okay. I knew you'd be tired after the long flight, and I wasn't sure you would want to go out. We can go out if you prefer, " Edward said as he released her from his arms.

"Room service sounds great." The barely-edible airline food had staved off the hunger, but it had hardly been appetizing. Bella realized that, as usual, Edward had anticipated her needs, even before she had. Her stomach made a loud growling noise as she walked into the room, and she realized she was famished.

As she wolfed down the chicken salad, Edward unpacked their suitcases, hanging their clothes in the closet and putting Bella's impressive collection of bottles, lotions and other strange female accessories in the bathroom.

Bella found it hard to believe the plush hotel suite was going to be home, for as long as she wanted. It was large without being too spacious, and lavishly decorated without being over the top; everything was soft and warm. Esme would definitely have approved of the soothing color scheme and the decadent fabrics. Already, Bella was wondering if she would ever want to leave.

After Edward had stored their luggage away and Bella had finished her meal, they lay on the bed together. It seemed like weeks, rather than just a day, since they had simply sat together and enjoyed the quiet comfort of being alone in each other's arms. Bella nestled into the crook of Edward's arm as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I thought, tomorrow, we could go exploring."

"I would love that. There are so many things I want to see." Bella had dreamed about coming to Paris since she was a child.

"Well, we can do whatever you want. What's at the top of your list?"

"Maybe Père Lachaise?"

"Really?" Edward said, surprised. "Not Le Louvre or Notre Dame?"

"I want to see those too. We might be staying for awhile, my list is pretty long," Bella admitted, an embarrassed blush staining her cheeks. She knew her enthusiasm must seem almost child-like; Edward had traveled the world, at least a couple of times over. She hoped he wouldn't mind seeing Paris all over again as she visited all the places she had read about.

"But a cemetery is at the top of your list, " Edward laughed.

"Yup."

"Let me guess...you want to leave a lipstick kiss on Oscar Wilde?" he asked jokingly.

Bella snorted in mock disgust.

"Nope, but I will bring a lipstick along, just in case," she said with a smirk.

Edward, of course, knew every famous person who was buried in the cemetery. He reviewed the names, making a list of possibilities in his head in a few seconds.

"Moliere?"

"Nope."

Okay, maybe not literature. Perhaps music? Edward narrowed down his list.

"Jim Morrison?"

"Nope." Bella grinned.

"Chopin? Bizet? Edith Piaf?

"Nope, nope and nope." Bella was laughing now, enjoying their macabre little game of guess the grave.

"I could run through every single dead person buried up there but we would be here all night. Why don't you just tell me who it is you want to go visit."

"Heloise and Abelard."

"Ah, of course. The original star crossed lovers."

"The most tragic love story ever told, " Bella sighed dramatically. There was something enchanting about their story that had captivated the romantic within her, from the very first moment she had heard their tale of sacrifice and illicit love.

"She never stopped loving him, even after everything that happened to them both. Her love remained intense and indestructible. Even after all those years. Even in the face of danger. Even when they couldn't be together." Despite the constraints of medieval society, Heloise had been intelligent, articulate and passionate. Bella couldn't help but admire the strength of her spirit.

Visiting the grave of the celebrated lovers was going to be the highlight of her adventures in Paris.

_"For not with me was my heart, but with you. But now, more than ever, if it be not with you, it is nowhere. For without you it cannot anywhere exist."_

Bella was not at all surprised Edward could quote from Heloise's love letters. Hearing her ardent declaration in Edward's deep, gravelly voice made Bella's heart swell as the romantic within her swooned.

Bella sighed, this time with utter amazement. Sometimes it still seemed completely unbelievable that she, Miss "Unremarkable" Swan had captured the heart of Mr "Brings-His-Girlfriend-to-Paris-to-Quote-Love-Letters" Perfect.

"Are you tired? Do you want to go to sleep now?" Edward was aware Bella's body clock would be confused for a day or so. It was dark and getting late. Normally at this time of night, she would go off to bed and he would sit with her until she fell asleep. Sometimes he composed or read or filled in the midnight loneliness with something else. Sometimes he simply stayed with her and watched her sleep.

"Actually, I'm wide awake," Bella said as she sat up. She leaned over and whispered in Edward's ear, "and I definitely don't feel like sleeping." Paris was the City of Love after all. Bella had no intention of spending their first night here just _sleeping_.

She ran her tongue over the curve of his ear as she lifted her leg over his body and straddled his waist. "Maybe, I feel like playing instead."

Edward grabbed her around the waist with both hands and pulled her harder against him as she nibbled the lobe of his ear and peppered kisses along his jawline.

He groaned as she started to grind against him; he could feel the heat of her through her jeans, pushing against the hardness in his own pants, all milk and honey promises in every pass of her hips.

He pushed his hands up the back of her shirt and splayed his fingers across her narrow back, rocking her against him in a rhythm that soon had her panting in his ear. He started to pull up her top to lift it over her head, but was surprised when she suddenly pulled away from him.

"Wait. I have a present for you, as well," she said with a mischievous grin as she sat back on her heels.

"Now?" Edward said petulantly. He didn't really want to open a present now; he wanted Bella to come back and finish what she started.

Bella chuckled at the look of irritation that was evident on his face. "Don't worry, I think you'll like it. It's a naughty present," she said, lowering her voice to a seductive whisper.

"Oh." _Perhaps a present right now might not be such a bad thing_ Edward thought to himself.

"Wait, right there." Bella climbed off the bed, and retrieved her handbag from the side-table. She walked slowly to the bathroom, blowing a kiss to Edward before she closed the door behind her.

While Edward was imagining all the different scenarios of what her naughty present might be, Bella was silently thanking Alice for talking her into some girls-only shopping time before they left for their trip. At the time, she hadn't been convinced she needed the extravagantly expensive set of lingerie, or the over-sized handbag that Alice told her she needed to pack it in. Now, she was glad her surprise hadn't been ruined when Edward unpacked their things.

It took a few minutes to shimmy herself into the sheer stockings, the lacy g-string and the boned basque. _For seriously special occasions only!_ Bella thought to herself as she struggled to get the garter clips in place. She ran her hands down the front of the beautifully embroidered corset, and braved a look in the mirror.

She had to admit, the black mesh against her bone-white skin was surprisingly effective - her skin was glowing. The built in under-wire pushed her breasts up and out, and the sheer panels down her sides made her look curvy. Bella admired her reflection; she looked different...sexy. She half-turned in the mirror. The basque was shorter through the back and it's hem followed the curve of her ass, highlighting the fact she was wearing only a g-string. The criss-cross of the g-string and garter straps were the only thing covering her whole behind. Bella gulped, hoping she had the courage to pull this off. She turned to face the mirror again and quickly pulled her hairbrush through her hair. She touched up her mascara and pinched her cheeks, before taking a deep breath and opening the bathroom door.

The look on Edward's face as she re-entered the bedroom justified every moment she had struggled with the lacy whispers of fabric.

She walked slowly over to the bed, emboldened by the way Edward was staring at her. His eyes had darkened and he was watching her every move intently, carefully. His gaze was calculated; like he was sizing her up and deliberating on what to do next. She was suddenly reminded that Edward was no ordinary _man_; under the cool, calm exterior, there simmered a dangerous predator.

He was looking at her like she was _prey, _and it stirred something primal and raw within her.

"So, Mr Cullen, like what you see?" Bella said provocatively as she brushed her hand along the top of her breast.

"Very much, " Edward said with a wide smile as he sat up to get a better view of her. He had been rock-hard before Bella's exit to the bathroom, but now he found himself straining, uncomfortable against the suddenly tight denim of his jeans. She looked amazing, and he couldn't wait to peel her out of the sinful little get-up she was wearing.

Bella turned slowly, smiling to herself as she heard Edward's sharp intake of breath, and walked to the closet. With an excruciating and exaggerated slowness, she bent over to rummage amongst the shoes for a few seconds. What she wanted wasn't down there, but she was enjoying listening to Edward mutter profanities under his breath. Knowing she made him react that way was the ultimate encouragement, and she felt suddenly bold, like she wanted to be the sexy goddess that this outfit demanded.

She stood up straight again, found what she was looking for, and turned to face Edward again.

His eyes were smoldering with desire, and she could tell from the way he was clenching his fists that it was taking him considerable effort to stay on the bed. The intensity of his gaze was making the lust spike between her legs.

"Now, are you ready for your present?" Bella said as she stalked over to the end of the bed, remembering to sway her hips as she walked.

"This isn't the present?" Edward was already in some kind of horny boyfriend heaven, and could hardly believe his luck. His utterly gorgeous girlfriend was standing at the foot of the bed, wearing what could only be described as sex itself, offering _more_. He mentally kicked himself for not bringing Bella to Paris sooner.

Bella didn't say anything, but climbed on the bed and crawled up Edward's body. As soon as she was within reach, he couldn't stop himself from touching her, running his hands over her lace**-**clad breasts and down her sides, reveling in the feel of the delicate fabric over her hot skin.

Bella straddled his waist as she had done earlier. "Tsk, tsk, Mr Cullen. Did I say you could touch? Maybe I only want you to look."

Edward couldn't bring himself to remove his hands from her, and he skimmed them along the tops of her legs, brushing his thumbs along her inner thighs. Her skin was soft and smooth, and felt like liquid silk in his hands.

Bella grinned wickedly. "Hands!" she commanded.

Edward groaned, reluctantly dropping his hands from her body. It was clear Bella was in charge tonight; and given how she was dressed, he was going to do anything she wanted. Even if she wasn't going to play fair.

"Give them to me, " Bella said with a smirk. Edward complied, in awe of the sex kitten in front of him. He realized that Bella had a piece of fabric scrunched in her hand. He had wondered if her little show in front of the closet was merely a ruse - torture by g-string - but now realized she must have pulled the sash from her favorite blue top while she was over there.

Bella smiled sweetly as she lifted Edward's arms above his head, and used the satin fabric to tie his wrists to the ornate wrought-iron headboard.

"Now, I know you can break this easily, but I want you to pretend you can't, okay? And I'll pretend you can't, too. It'll be fun, I promise."

When Edward was bound to her satisfaction, Bella got off the bed again and walked to the side-table where her iPod was docked in the suite's entertainment system.

A second later, the air was filled with the sound of soft guitar chords. Edward recognized the melody instantly, but the voice that burst into song was surprising; young and female, pure, crystal-like clarity. Whoever was singing had taken the 80's goth hit and turned it on it's head, stripping it down, letting the lyrics shine against the slow and uncluttered acoustics. Bella's choice of song was unexpected, but then, so was everything else she had done this evening.

Edward watched, entranced, as Bella began to sway to the music, rocking her hips in time with the beat. She twirled around, arms stretched out, head back and eyes closed. She was completely absorbed in the song; he could hear her whispering the words to herself as she danced before him. Every sway and turn gave him a glimpse of velvet skin, a sliver of sweetness he wanted to run his tongue along. It was taking every ounce of his control to stay where Bella wanted him.

She lifted her hair up in both her hands, letting it fall in waves of glossy satin as she swayed with her back to him, giving him another view of her almost naked behind. He made a mental note to take her lingerie shopping while they were here, wondering if he could convince her to wear lacy thongs every day.

At first, he had thought Bella was choosing music for a sultry strip-tease, but again, she was full of surprises. He watched her dance, as if she was lost in her own world, and he was struck by how beautiful she really was when she was like this; with all her guards down, uninhibited, free. She was so completely lost in the song; it was as almost as if he wasn't even there. He wondered if she was ignoring him for her own benefit, to control her nerves.

Edward watched, captivated, as Bella's hands began to trace over her body, soft whispers of touch, following the curves of her hips, the swell of her breasts, up into her hair. Nothing in all the world could have made him take his eyes off her as she dipped her fingers under the lace of her panties, sighing as her hand pushed lower. All the while,she whispered the words of the song, oblivious to anything else but the music and the movement of her hands over her body.

It was so very intimate, watching her touch herself, as if she was alone. Like he was spying on her most private, secret moment.

Edward realized then, that Bella's little show was nothing about nerves. The lack of interaction was not because she was shy. Everything about this was calculated and planned. Her present to him was letting him _watch_.

Edward had not stopped watching her, since the very first moment he laid eyes on her. She mesmerized him with a strange magnetic pull and he found it hard to tear his eyes from her. He watched her face for the thoughts he couldn't read in her mind. He watched her dream at night. He had worried she would find his voyeurism alarming or offensive, but she said she didn't mind. And so he watched her; always.

Right now, watching her touch herself was the most erotic thing he'd even seen.

One of Bella's hands rubbed between her legs while the other squeezed her breast. She had her eyes closed, and Edward could hear her heartbeat picking up as her breathing quickened. A flush of pink spread across the tops of her breasts as a bead of sweat trickled down her neck. Edward knew she was getting close.

A growl rose up out of his chest before he was even aware he'd ripped himself from Bella's satin tie. Edward had to have her, now, before his cock fought it's own way out of his pants.

Edward's outburst broke Bella from her trance, and she sauntered back over to the bed with an exaggerated frown on her face.

"Now, what seems to be the problem, Mr Cullen?" She grinned as she pushed him back on the bed.

"Bella, please." Edward was not above begging at this point. He needed her, needed to be inside her, possibly more than he had ever needed anything before.

"I thought we were pretending you couldn't break out of this," she smiled as she retied his hands to the bed frame with what was left of her sash. "You need to try harder this time, okay?" she said with a wink.

This time she didn't leave him to dance on the other side of the room. Instead, she slowly freed the buttons of his shirt, pushing it open so she could run her fingernails down his sculpted abdomen, before placing soft wet kisses over his chest. Edward groaned as she turned her attention to his nipples, sucking and biting, driving him crazy with need. He wanted to rip the tie again, grab her and drown himself deep inside of her.

He wasn't sure how much longer his self control was going to hold out.

She leaned over him, kissing his neck and nibbling the sensitive spot just under his ear as she pushed herself against him, that tantalizing, hot pressure that ignited the burn inside him.

"Fuck," he muttered, desperate for release. It was all too much, this close but not quite enough, the weight, heat and scent of her. Desperate for more, he was aching and close to losing it before she'd even touched his cock.

As if sensing his discomfort, Bella carefully unbuttoned his jeans, sliding them down his legs.

"Let me take care of you," she murmured, "Just relax."

Relaxing was definitely not what Edward had in mind as Bella's mouth wrapped around his straining erection. Her hot little mouth, all moist and tight, swirling, sucking, pulling him closer to the edge . He watched her as she knelt between his legs, glorious as she made love to him with her mouth - her eyes closed, moaning as she moved over him. Her hips rocked back and forth as her head moved, pulling, licking, teasing his lust and need to the surface. Seeing her giving herself to him like this, hearing the sounds of her own pleasure as she pleasured him, was racing him to orgasm.

He strained against the bonds she had placed on him, the sound of fabric ripping mingling with the little murmurs and moans that she was making as she pushed his cock deep into her throat.

Free from the restraints, he touched her head, carefully, always carefully, and wrapped her hair in his fingers. Her moans grew louder, insistent, as he guided her head with his hands, moving her over him, faster, harder. One more swirl of her hot tongue and the frenzied bliss scorched its way through his skin, his ecstasy pulsing into her mouth, icy streams of venom and cum and absolute relief.

Sated, he lay back on the bed, panting, savoring the sweet after-glow of his release.

Bella smiled as she crawled back up to lie beside him in the crook of his arm.

"That was my favorite top, you know, Edward. I won't be able to wear it properly now," she pretended to pout.

Edward leaned over and kissed her passionately. "I will buy you a hundred of those tops, if you'll do that again, sometime." He felt her smile against his lips. He wasn't sad that sex kitten Bella had gone - he was going to enjoy making love to his girlfriend now.

"Okay," she murmured.

He rolled her over onto her back, relishing the feel of her delicate body underneath him. His hands swept hungrily over her skin, as though it had been years since he'd touched her. She smelled like sex; his and hers, and it fueled the fire within him again, his erection pressing hard against her thigh.

"Already?" Bella asked, surprised. This was quick, even for Edward.

"After the little stunt you pulled tonight, you can't be surprised, " Edward said as he deftly unclipped the garter straps she'd had so much trouble getting in place.

He placed kisses down her legs as he rolled the stockings off her. On the way back up, he whispered words of love against her skin, making her squirm as her skin prickled under his cool breath. When he placed a kiss on her lace-covered pussy, Bella gasped and rocked against his mouth, her own desperate need for release gritty and throbbing under her skin. He chuckled and hooked his fingers under the thin straps at her hips, and pulled her panties from her.

"This stays on," he said with a grin as he ran his hands over the delicate fabric that covered her breasts. He lay over her, hard and bold, and nudging against her.

_Too far away...so close...almost..._

"Please," she whispered. Edward smiled down at her. Somehow, the tables had been turned, and now it was she that lay vulnerable, exposed and begging. She had been intoxicating when she had been confident and in control, but she was just as desirable as she supplicated and submitted beneath him.

He pushed himself inside her with one long thrust that filled and stretched her, making her cry out. She was so soft and hot, _soft and only_, soft and oh, so lovely.

She came quickly, breathing his name and kissing his face, loving him as he made love to her. She was exquisite, perfect, just like heaven.

He knew then, that he would love her to the very end of his days.

* * *

**A/N:  
Chocolate fish for anyone who can guess the song and who is covering it. There are a couple of clues there :)**

** The answer is on my profile along with links to information about the Pere Lachaise cemetery and Heloise and Abelard's "Affaire de Coeur".**

**  
I never intended for this to be my longest chapter yet. All my chapter outline says is: "she ties him up" (yup, my mind went straight there when I saw the prompt) but apparently Bella wanted to go to Paris, and Edward wanted to watch. So there you have it. 4k and a lemon!**

**With grateful thanks to my beautiful betas, Betham and Vanpirenz, and to my very helpful friend, Google. **


	8. VIBRANT

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: VIBRANT  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 17.

* * *

"Thank you, so much, Alice. I don't know what I would have done without your help."

"Are you kidding me? I love this sort of thing. It is definitely my pleasure."

Bella looked at herself in the full-length mirror in Alice's bedroom. She could scarcely believe it was her own reflection. She looked like she was ready to go to prom.

It was all there: Make up, hair, shoes, dress. Oh, the dress. It fit like it had been made for her; strapless, with an empire line that fell in flowing waves of fabric from under her bust. The deep midnight blue made her eyes sparkle and her skin glow. It was sophisticated and elegant, and probably more suited to a red carpet event than a high school prom, but Alice had insisted she borrow it.

She took a princess moment, spinning around, grinning as the fabric billowed out around her.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked. Alice's own dress was a stunning, deep blood-red, off-the-shoulder design that flattered her petite frame. Her normally spiked black hair was swept and slicked to the side. She looked like a movie star, not a high school senior.

"I'm so nervous, Alice," Bella whispered. Asking Edward to go to the prom with her had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now the night was here, she was almost wishing she'd opted for another night of take-out and watching baseball with Charlie.

Almost. The thought of what Edward would look like in a tux was enough to steel her nerves.

"He likes you, you know," Alice said, reassuringly.

"Really?" Bella tried not to sound desperate or needy, but there was no disguising the hope in her voice.

"Absolutely. Edward doesn't do the prom thing. In fact, Edward doesn't really do anything. He's been slowly fading away in front of us, bored and lonely and...just empty."

An image of Edward flashed in Bella's mind. Edward sitting at a window, his back hunched and his brow furrowed, staring into the distance. A forgotten watercolor painting; dull and faded. The edges blurred and the colors nondescript. She felt a pang in her chest as she imagined him so sad and alone.

"Then you came along," Alice continued, pausing in front of the mirror for one last admiring glance, "and everything changed. It's been a long time since I've seen him so...vibrant."

Bella's painting sprang to life; the colors now rich and bold, the lines sharp. Edward was smiling, happy, energetic. Bella felt a strange warmth radiating from her chest as she entertained the idea it might have been her that had executed the rejuvenating brushstrokes.

Just then, Esme poked her head around the door. "Are you girls ready? Your dates are waiting."

Despite the fact that they had only met for the first time tonight, Bella felt like she had known Esme all her life. She was warm and accepting, welcoming Bella into their home with a gentle enthusiasm which had made her feel instantly included. She'd calmly helped them get ready, as much as Alice would allow, offering advice and watching the endless primping and pampering with an indulgent smile.

"You both look gorgeous."

"Thank you both for letting me get ready here. There's no way I could have done all this on my own," Bella said. Their generosity was almost overwhelming. Alice had taken care of everything, including the things Bella hadn't even known about. She was more grateful than she could verbalize; for their help getting her organized, and for helping her forget that her own mother wasn't here to share this with her.

"I think it's us who should be thanking you, Bella. Edward has been.... well, let's just say that Edward has been much easier to live with these past few weeks," Esme said with a smile.

Bella blushed and smiled shyly. As the soft glow of hope spread across her skin, she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to be more than just Edward's prom date.

Edward's beautiful face flickered across her mind.

True to Esme's word, Jasper and Edward were waiting for them in the large foyer. They stood side by side, in matching tuxedos, watching them as they walked slowly down the stairs.

Alice descended the stairs first, with a smooth, carefree confidence, her eyes never leaving Jasper's face. He gazed back at her adoringly, his perfect smile getting wider the nearer she got to him. Bella averted her eyes as Alice flew into his arm and kissed him passionately. She kept her eyes on the stairs as she shakily followed in Alice's wake, praying she wouldn't trip and tumble. She didn't dare look at anything other than her feet, in case her night ended with a visit to the E.R.

Once safely at the bottom of the steps, she let out a sigh of relief and looked up at Edward.

_Wow_.

She hadn't thought it possible that he could look more gorgeous, but...oh. He was simply stunning. His hair was still it's usual haphazard mess, but it was shiny - like he'd attempted to put some sort of styling product in it. Bella smiled, guessing that was Alice's influence. Edward in a tux was a vision reminiscent of Hollywood glamor. He was simply breathtaking. The tailored black jacket made his shoulders look broader than normal, and he seemed taller, confident, in control.

His amber eyes flashed with amusement as she gazed at him, lost in his dazzle.

"You look beautiful," he whispered as he took her arm to escort her outside.

She blushed again, and stole another peek at him. Her heart fluttered as he gave her a crooked smile.

"Alice gave me strict instructions to get you a corsage," he said with a grin, "but when I saw this, it reminded me of you. I hope you don't mind."

He handed her a single, long-stemmed pink rose. Each delicate petal was perfectly formed, the softest blush of color deepening at the tips. Bella could smell the distinctively sweet rose scent wafting in the air as she admired the beautiful, fragile flower.

"It's beautiful, thank you," she said, too shy to ask him why he'd chosen it for her.

Out on the landing, with the expansive forest that surrounded the Cullen house as the perfect backdrop, they posed for the obligatory prom photos. Esme took so many pictures, Bella's cheeks were aching by the time she finally finished and let them leave.

Edward led her down the steps to the under-house garage. Bella gasped as she saw the black Aston Martin Vanquish. Edward opened the passenger door for her with a flourish. She stood there, shocked and in awe. Could this evening be any more perfect? It was like a fairytale.

She carefully climbed into the car, taking care to arrange her skirt so it wouldn't crease, before touching the dash reverently. This was one hell of a car. She couldn't even begin to guess what a car like this would cost.

She blanched, realizing how much money the Cullens must have, if their _teenage son_ was allowed to drive a car like this.

"You like it?" Edward asked as he sat gracefully in the driver seat. "It's my favorite, but if you think it's too much, we can take the Volvo."

"No, I like it," Bella said quickly.

Oh God, this was _his _car. Bella gulped as she realized the Cullens weren't rich - they were super rich. Being the daughter of a policeman and an aromatherapist who had shacked up with a minor league baseball player without a dime to his name, seemed laughable.

Her nerves reached fever pitch. He was so out of her league, it was a miracle that he had even agreed to go to the prom with her. Perhaps this was just a pity date; she was new and he felt sorry for her. Or worse, maybe this was some kind of sick joke that the whole school was in on - Mission: Humiliate the New Girl.

She could feel the tears of panic prickling at the edges of her eyes, and she wondered if she could pull it together enough to ask Edward to take her home.

As if sensing her unease, Edward touched her hand softly. His touch was whisper-light, his cool fingers wrapped around hers as he gave her an encouraging smile.

A strange sense of calm washed over her, and she found the nausea that had been welling up in her throat being replaced with a nervous excitement. Edward left his hand in hers as they drove, glancing over at her every now and then, with that crooked smile that made her weak at the knees. Bella let her anxiety fade away as she focused on how wonderful it felt to be here, with him.

All too soon, the short drive to school was over. They pulled into the parking lot and Bella could see Alice and Jasper waiting for them beside a bright yellow Porsche. Bella refused to be overwhelmed by the excesses the Cullens seemed to take for granted. She wasn't here to worry about money and social standing - she was just going to enjoy being at the prom...with Edward.

"Shall we?" Edward asked, holding out his arm again for her. She clung to it, welcoming the chance to anchor herself to something more stable than herself.

As they walked into the school auditorium, it was almost as if there had been a special announcement of their arrival. As if in unison, almost every single pair of eyes in the room turned to watch them enter. Bella could even hear a few audible gasps.

Bella felt like she was being pulverized under the weight of their stares and her feet began to stumble, like she couldn't remember how to do something as simple as putting one foot in front of the other. The crowd parted, all eyes on them, as they made their way into the room.

"Everyone is staring," Bella whispered nervously.

"Don't worry about them," Edward said confidently as he negotiated the crowd, ignoring the stares and whispers as they walked to the dance floor.

Bella gripped Edward's arm and tried to act confident. Inside, she was in agony; the glares of her classmates like laser beams that cut to her soul.

She was aware that Edward was maneuvering her, guiding and gliding her across the dance floor. She was thankful his grace and confidence hid the fact that she didn't really know what she was doing. If she just followed his lead, she wouldn't fall over and embarrass herself.

In his arms, she quickly found herself lost within him; drowning in the depth of his eyes, drunk on the scent of him -all man and musk and sweet like sunshine. He overwhelmed her, and it was almost enough to make her forget that all eyes in the room were still transfixed on them.

Suddenly, Alice bounded up to them. "I need to go to ladies room. Let's go together."

Alice didn't wait for an answer, grabbing her arm and bouncing off in the direction of the bathrooms. Bella looked back over her shoulder and shrugged at Edward. He just smiled, obviously used to Alice's interruptions, and turned to talk to Jasper.

The bathrooms were decorated with hundreds of fairy lights, which gave the normally dank room a pretty, warm glow. Alice touched up her lipstick as Bella admired the bunches of fresh flowers on the vanity. The soft, floral scent disguised any last trace of chlorine, and she could almost pretend they were somewhere more romantic than the bathroom at school.

"I don't know if I can do this, Alice," Bella said shakily. "Everyone is staring...it's too much."

"Don't let them get to you, Bella. They're just jealous. They all want Edward and they can't handle the fact that he only wants you."

"Do you really think so?" Bella asked, hoping Alice's affirmation would give her the strength to go back out there.

"I know so," Alice said, with such conviction that Bella couldn't help but believe it too.

Buoyed by Alice's unwavering support, Bella found her way back to the ballroom and stood on her tiptoes, trying to spot Edward's unmistakable mop of tousled hair.

A girl, dressed in a bright pink, too tight dress walked past her, knocking her shoulder into her as she passed. Bella grimaced, rubbing her shoulder as she scanned the packed dance floor.

She saw Edward a short distance away, with his back to her, and she walked over to join him.

When she got closer, she realized there was a pretty, blonde girl leaning up against him, her hand splayed over his chest as she whispered something in his ear. She was tall and gorgeous, and oozing sex appeal. A girl like that could get any boy she wanted. Bella couldn't see Edward's face from where she stood, but she could imagine him smiling as the girl flirted.

They were both beautiful. Alice had it wrong, Edward belonged with a girl like that.

Defeated, she turned, determined to find a phone to call Charlie to come and get her.

Suddenly, Edward was at her side. He pulled her close to him, protectively, wrapping his arm around her and smiling, a look of sheer relief on his features.

The blonde didn't hide her disgust as she looked Bella up and down. Bella could hear her muttering something snide under her breath as she flounced off.

"Do you want to get out of here for awhile?" Edward asked as if sensing her unease.

"Please."

Edward led her by the hand to the door that was marked 'Backstage'. They shut the door behind them, muffling the music and swamping the narrow corridor in darkness. Even in the pitch black, Edward seemed to know where he was going and she followed along blindly, clutching his hand as he led her down some stairs and out a door.

Outside it was a clear, starry night and the silence enveloped her in a soothing embrace. She felt instantly calmer away from the heat and noise of the ballroom. If was a relief to be outside, in the fresh air, and to escape the scrutiny of bitchy girls.

They walked slowly to the small lawn at the side of the auditorium where there was a little bench seat.

"Do you want to sit for a bit?" Edward asked as he took off his jacket and held it out for her. She realized she was, in fact, quite cold; the crisp night air had made her skin goose-bumped, and she shivered as she accepted his jacket gratefully.

She wasn't sure if she had imagined his hands lingering on her neck as he swept her hair from under the collar.

He sat beside her on the seat. She was aware of how tantalizingly close he was to her like this. Just an inch separated them. She moved her knee closer, half an inch now. She could almost feel him, but not quite. She wanted to press her knee against his, knowing his leg would be strong and cool, like his arms had been when they danced. She'd felt protected and safe in his embrace, and somehow calmer, as much as had been possible under the circumstances.

It was strange; most boys were hot, simmering with unpredictable hormones and brash bravado. Most boys were unsettling.

Edward was cool and calm. Being with him wasn't confusing. Nothing risky lurked under the surface; he was confident and in control.

"Thank you. That was awful. The pack of piranhas in there, I mean. Not coming to the dance with you. That bit was good. I mean, I just didn't realize..." Bella cringed as she listened to herself, bumbling through the uncomfortable silence which had stretched between them.

Edward shot another smile in her direction. "I'm sorry you're missing the prom."

"I'd rather be sitting here...with you," Bella whispered, stealing a glance at him. His eyes, wide and bright, stared back at her, a perfect reflection of the longing that burned inside her.

Her heartbeat began to quicken, its steady beat thumping in her ears, so deafeningly loud that she was sure he would be able to hear it too. She swallowed thickly under the intensity of his gaze, aware her breaths were coming thick and fast now.

He leaned over towards her, so close she could see every individual eyelash that framed his liquid honey eyes.

So close.

She saw something flicker across his features; a flash of hesitation. Was he unsure if she wanted this? She leaned in closer, only a whisper separating them now.

"Stay very still," he breathed, his peppermint-cool breath washing over her.

As if in slow motion, he closed the distance between them, his face lined in furrows of concentration. She closed her eyes in anticipation.

Then his lips were on hers. Hot and soft, cool and hard; a breathy mix of sensations that made her heart swell. He tasted like moonlight and toffee, and she felt herself melt against him.

A soft kiss. A first kiss. A kiss to forget everything else.

A kiss that was better than Prom.

A kiss that promised many more to come.

Bella sighed. Perhaps Alice was right after all.

* * *

**A/N:  
As always, abundant thanks and virtual hugs to my betas Betham and Vanpirenz. I couldn't do this without them and their magic red pen**** skills.**

**There has been a steady little trickle of alerts for this story for which I am truly grateful. Every review makes me smile - please leave one!**


	9. TAUT

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: TAUT  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 38.

* * *

Bella took a deep breath and stepped in front of the mirror.

The reflection which greeted her was breathtaking.

She had spent the entire morning at the mercy of hairdressers, make-up artists, nail technicians, and a well-meaning but superfluous Renee, and this was the impressive result. It was as if her fairy godmother had flown in, waved her magic wand, and transformed her.

Except she wasn't Cinderella going to the ball to meet her Prince Charming. Today, she was going to marry him.

Bella smiled at her bride-self reflection. She really did look amazing. She wondered what her husband-to-be was going to think when he saw her. She could almost imagine the boyish grin that would burst across his features as she walked up the aisle towards him.

_Husband_. It was going to be so strange to call him that. She wasn't convinced today's formalities and celebrations would change anything; they already shared their lives together. She didn't need the official piece of paper to know that they loved each other, but this was important to him and so, she had agreed.

_Newly-weds. _

_Mr and Mrs. _

This marriage thing came with a whole new vocabulary.

Bella smoothed her hands down the front of her ivory satin dress. It was a simple design, yet still elegant, becoming of a woman of her age. Renee had not hidden her disappointment that Bella had chosen something so _plain_, but Bella had refused to be sideswiped by Renee's conviction that wedding dresses needed full hooped skirts, puffed sleeves and goodness knows what other tacky flourishes.

There was no way she was getting married looking like a meringue.

She gazed at herself in the mirror, casting a critical eye over the glamorous version of herself that stared back at her. The soft, understated make-up made her skin look flawless, and her hair was piled up in a sophisticated arrangement with delicate curls framing her face and sweeping along her neck. Her dress might have been simple, but it was cut to flatter, showing off her narrow waist and accentuating the curve of her hips. She really did look like the 'glowing bride.'

The magic wand had taken off at least ten years; it was almost as if she didn't even recognize herself.

In fact, this whole day had such a surreal feel to it, Bella almost felt like she was having an out-of-body experience. Sometimes, it seemed as though it had taken a lifetime to get to this day, and now that it was actually happening, it was almost too hard to believe. Weddings were the stuff of daydreams and whimsy.

A long time ago, her life goal was to get married. Back then, she was convinced that she and Campbell Smith were destined for a long and happy life together. She even had her wedding dress picked out, the picture cut from a magazine and glued lovingly into a scrapbook. Bella could still remember every detail of that dress. Sweetheart neckline, rouching, beading and puffed sleeves - Renee definitely would have approved. Then, one summer, Campbell Smith moved away with his family to Texas and she never saw him again. Seven-year-old Bella had been heartbroken, and had cried for a week.

Bella smiled to herself. Those were such ancient memories now.

She had learned so much about love since then.

"Are you ready, Bella?" Renee asked, interrupting her recollections of childhood innocence.

Bella took a deep breath. Was she ready? Ready to get married to the man she loved; the man that she knew, without a doubt, loved her with all his heart?

It was a simple question, really and yet, here she was...hesitating.

The butterflies that had been jostling against her rib cage all morning took flight, threatening to fly right out her throat. She could feel the slickness of her palms as she rubbed them against each other. These unsettling sensations told her that she was nervous, but it was a detached, watered down effect - like she was somehow feeling everything from behind a sheet of dull glass.

"It's okay to be nervous, sweetie," Renee said comfortingly.

Bella gave her a weak smile. That was all this feeling was, just nerves. Every bride gets nervous on her big day. Maybe it was completely normal to feel this overwhelmingly tight feeling in her chest.

Bella hesitated again, wondering if this was all a mistake. Was she doing the right thing?

She squashed the thought quickly, extinguishing it under her ivory colored stiletto.

The penny in her shoe rubbed against the sole of her foot, a dull reminder that she should be thinking of her good fortune, not dwelling on guilt-laden thoughts of self-doubt.

"Yes, I'm ready. Shall we go?" Bella said with a smile. She hoped Renee wouldn't be able to tell it was forced.

Together, they descended the magnificent curved staircase of the enormous homestead that they had chosen to host the wedding. Upstairs, there was the suite of rooms where Bella and her guests had dressed, and the sumptuous bedroom where she had spent the previous night. Downstairs was the ballroom, where they would dance the night away. The building itself was impressive, both in size and opulence, but it had been the gardens that Bella had fallen in love with when they had come to view it. The main lawn, where they were holding the ceremony, was bordered by a small stream and rows of rambling rose bushes. Beyond that stretched acres of gardens, where every twist and turn of the cobblestone pathways revealed a time worn statue or bird bath, a hidden clearing, or a bench seat. Bella had wanted a romantic setting for the wedding, and she had certainly found it here.

Charlie was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. Bella couldn't remember ever seeing him look so suave. It wasn't just the tuxedo - he'd cut his grey hair and grown a short beard - giving him an almost distinguished air. She couldn't help but think that, in another life, he could have graced the functions of high society and not looked out of place.

"You look stunning, Bella," he said, a genuine smile lighting up his face. He took her arm in his, tugging awkwardly at his bow-tie with his free hand.

"Doesn't she just," Renee said as she started to sob.

"Mom, please...just don't." Bella wasn't sure she could keep her own emotions under control, let alone manage Renee's as well. She had hoped that time and age would rein in Renee's tendency for the melodramatic, but apparently that was wishful thinking on her behalf.

Renee sniffed and dabbed at her eyes dramatically.

"It's just...after all this time...I had begun to give up hope you would ever get to be a bride. And now, here you are..._finally _going to get married." Renee began to sob again, frantically rifling through her clutch purse. She pulled out a little yellow bottle and began to spray it in her mouth.

Bella sighed, hoping Renee's little episode would pass quickly. She shook her head as Renee offered her a spray of Rescue Remedy. She'd had several glasses of champagne upstairs. The alcohol-filled bubbles had taken the edge off, leaving her full of a fuzzy numbness that she hoped would give her the fortitude to cope with being the center of attention today.

She took another deep breath, quietly glad that Renee's irritating display was at least momentarily deflecting attention away from herself and her shaking hands.

She gripped Charlie's arm, drawing strength from his stoic frame. He gave her an apologetic smile as he led her through the foyer to the main entrance.

Outside, the gardens were in full bloom and the air was thick with the scent of floral perfume and anticipation. They slowly walked along the vine-covered archways that lead to the lawn where the guests were waiting. Bella could feel her feet moving, but it was almost as if her body was propelling itself forward on its own accord.

She was so numb, so nervous.

Rose bushes lined the path, the delicate, blush pink color catching Bella's eye. As a memory began to bloom in her mind, her breath caught in her throat and her chest constricted even further. There wasn't even time to think the thought that lingered on the fragrant petals as she passed through an archway that led to the lawn, and her awaiting groom.

Before them sat rows of their closest friends and family. It was just as she had envisioned; small and intimate. She tried not to concentrate on the sea of faces, but on the fact that they were all smiling. This wasn't a nameless mob of people judging or exposing her. These were her loved ones, here to support her, to celebrate and witness. She could do this.

She felt herself being pulled along by Charlie, his arm like a life preserver keeping her afloat, as she became aware the music she had picked for this moment was already playing.

The champagne-induced haze tumbled away, and she was suddenly overwhelmed by a storm of emotions that was threatening to engulf and drown her. Her carefully constructed armor was coming unglued, her nerves taut, control fraying. She could hear her breath coming in little gasps as her skin broke out in a clammy sheen of panic.

She kept her eyes on her feet and just concentrated on the walking. If she could just get to the end of this tortuously long aisle, then...she wasn't sure... she just had to concentrate on the walking.

Suddenly, Charlie stopped. He kissed her cheek, and then he was gone. There was nothing left to hold on to.

She took a deep breath and looked up.

_God, he really is gorgeous._ His eyes were sparkling with adoration and excitement. His love for her had never been as evident as it was in this moment.

She smiled, exhaling the doubt and worry. Relief flooded her veins, and she could feel her muscles uncoiling. How could she have ever thought this wasn't the right thing to do?

The celebrant was speaking, but she barely heard any of the words as she stood hypnotized, dazzled by the light in his eyes and the love in his smile.

She belatedly realized there was something important being said.

"Do you, Isabella Marie Swan, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Bella heard her own voice answer, "I do."

_Husband and Wife._

_To have and to hold._

_Love, honor, comfort, and cherish._

_From this day forward. _

"And do you, Peter Michael Browne, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

She grinned as she heard his familiar deep voice echo her own promise of forever.

* * *

**A/N:  
I bet you hate me and my fragmented time line right about now. I'll hope you'll stick around - all will be revealed in the goodness of time.**

**  
Rescue Remedy is a bach flower remedy for soothing the nerves. I must have drank half a bottle of the stuff the morning of my wedding.**

**I have Betham and Vanpirenz to thank for filling in my missing words, fixing my comma mistakes and leaving the best comments. They make my writing better and I adore them both.**


	10. FRAGMENTS

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: FRAGMENTS  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters (direct quotes in italics). No copyright infringement intended.

Bella is 36.

* * *

The door closed behind her.

Edward felt himself crumpling to the floor, free-falling like his spine had been ripped from his body, his granite-like strength seeping from his bones and staining the floor with invisible blood.

A strange keening noise he didn't recognize erupted from his chest, filling the air with the sound of pain and despair.

She was gone.

* * *

_"You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose._"

_"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me._"

* * *

"This isn't a normal existence, or the human life you wanted for me, Edward. It's some twisted, warped fairy-tale, where instead of a happily-ever-after, I'm damned to spend every day inching closer to death, and you're forced to watch me slowly erode away."

Bella couldn't stand still, and she paced the floor restlessly, as if the constant movement might ease the pain that was constricting her chest.

"I've already told you, Bella. We can make this work. I know we can. Please! " Edward pleaded, watching her from his seat on the couch. A tangled ball of emotions vibrated through every sinew in his body, threatening to explode and obliterate; a time-bomb of anguish poised to destroy them both.

"No, I don't think we can, not anymore. You were right. I need to live a human life. This life you live, it isn't _real_. You can have anything your heart desires. It's effortless and..."

Edward interrupted her, leaping swiftly to his feet.

"You think my life is _effortless_? You think that I don't struggle with the same emotions and challenges that you do? You think that I don't wrestle to keep myself under control, every day? Do you realize how much effort it takes to keep myself from hurting you? From _killing _you? You think that's _effortless_?" Edward seethed.

"Exactly, Edward. How can you want to spend the rest of my life fighting that - every. single. day? It shouldn't be that hard, just to be together."

_Because I love you, Bella._ Edward wanted to scream the words at her, but instead he turned and stalked out of the room. He slammed the door behind him.

The sound of cracking timber ripped through the deafening silence.

* * *

Bella knew she was speaking, but the voice didn't sound like her own. It was empty, emotionless, the words echoing in her heart.

"I'm not strong enough, Edward. I can't do this anymore."

"Do you want me to lie to you, and tell you everything is fine? That I think things can go back to the way they were? The truth may be ugly, but a lie would be worse. For both of us," Bella sobbed. "This..." she waved her hand haphazardly in the space between them, "this isn't enough anymore."

"Bella...please don't say that."

Edward wrapped her in his arms. The strength of his arms around her was usually a comforting, safe haven. Now, his cool, iron-like embrace was suffocating her.

"You promised me. You promised me a forever, an eternity. And I was so young and naive, I actually believed you."

"That promise still stands, Bella. Whatever happens now, I will always love you, forever."

"I know, but what I failed to realize then, was that your eternity and my eternity are two different things. You promised me something you couldn't give me."

"You know why I couldn't change you. I thought you understood that? " Edward sighed.

"Yes, but you can't give me the alternative, either. I'm trapped in this torture, this limbo, unable to have a human life with you, and unable to have you forever. Where does that leave me?"

"With me; here, now," Edward replied.

Once upon a time, that would have been enough.

* * *

He held her by the wrist, clinging, begging. He knew it was tight, too tight, his desperation-laced grip would bruise her, maybe even break her.

But he couldn't let go.

"Please don't leave me."

* * *

Bella sat on the edge of her bed, waiting. Just as she knew it would, her phone suddenly sparked to life, vibrating and glowing in her hand.

"Hi, Alice," Bella said, without looking at the display.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Alice said softly.

"Please don't tell me, okay? Don't tell me if this is the right, or the wrong, decision. I don't want to know. I just...need to...go... and make my own way, whatever happens. Okay? I know you can see, just...I can't know," Bella struggled to hold back the tears as she begged Alice.

"Of course, whatever you want," Alice replied sadly.

"I'll miss you, Alice. You're my best friend, and it feels like I'm losing you too."

"We'll still be friends, Bella. I promise." Bella took strength in Alice's reassurances, but deep down, she knew nothing was ever going to be the same.

* * *

It had been a long time since she could remember being scared. There is little to fear when you have an impossibly strong, unbreakable immortal by your side.

Now she was completely and utterly alone.

And she was terrified.

* * *

"You're leaving because I can't give you children." Edward couldn't read her thoughts, but there was no mistaking the look of pain and longing that flashed across her face when she saw a baby.

"It's part of it. I'm sorry. I just can't help feeling like I'm meant to be a mother. I tried for so long to push it down and ignore it, but it just never goes away."

"We could adopt, or something. There are ways, Bella." Edward knew he sounded desperate, and for a split-second he convinced himself that a baby would be the answer. If it would fix it, he would do it. He would do _anything_.

"I'd do it if that's what you wanted, Bella."

Bella laughed, but it was laced with pain, not humor. "Jesus, Edward. We both know you're a masochist, but really? That's a bit much, even for you." She shook her head as she considered the myriad of secrets and lies that would swaddle any child of theirs, however it came into the world. An image of Edward holding a baby in his arms flashed through her head; a child raising a child. At least, that's how it would look. Another image chased away the doting father, and Bella swallowed back her tears as she imagined Edward standing over the grave of his own child.

* * *

"You don't love me anymore, is that it? Please, just tell me."

Bella tried not to look in Edward's eyes, afraid of what she would see there.

"Of course, I still love you. I think I always will, Edward. I think, maybe, the problem is that I love you too much. And, if you really loved me, you'd let me go."

"I don't know how, Bella."

* * *

_"You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours."_

_

* * *

_

The white-on-white hotel room was plush and lavishly decorated, but for once Bella didn't see the expensive furnishings, the carefully themed accents, the fresh white roses on the buffet. To her, the room was cold and clinical; it wasn't _home_.

Her limbs were numb, heavy, and they seemed to propel her forward on their own accord. All purposeful thought had long fled. She dropped her bags in a heap on the floor, shedding her clothes as she stumbled to the bathroom.

She turned her back on the mirror, not wanting to see what havoc the day's destruction had wreaked on her face, and turned the shower on.

The water was so hot it stung, but she welcomed the pain. As each scorching droplet hit her skin, she imagined it burning a hole in her flesh, atonement for her sins and the devastation she had caused. If only it would wash away the agony and fill the void in her chest where her heart once beat.

She slumped to the tiled floor, holding her knees tight to her chest as the grief consumed her. Muffled sobs wracked her body as hot tears streamed down her face.

Tiny fragments of her heart, splashing to the floor before dissolving and disappearing.

**A/N:  
Sarah McLachlan and her beautiful song "Do What You Have To Do" put me in a sufficiently emo mood to write this one. It's my favourite chapter so far.**

**Betham and Vanpirenz - thank you both. I couldn't ask for a better beta team.**


	11. AWE

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: AWE  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxEDWARD  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 17.

* * *

Edward was a vampire.

Bella heard herself laughing, the sound nervous and strained. A little bubble of hysteria escaped her chest.

She paced the floor of her bedroom, up and down, down and up, wearing a track of disbelief in the flecked carpet.

The vampire in question sat on the wooden chair at her desk, watching her every step with careful, cautious eyes.

Bella opened her mouth as if to ask a question, then suddenly snapped it shut again. Shaking her head, she continued her pacing, her face impassive.

"Bella, I know this is a lot to take in, but please...please say something," Edward said softly.

Bella snorted. There simply weren't words.

When Edward had told her they 'needed to talk' she had thought he was going to finally get around to ending this confusing, he-likes-me/he-likes-me-not, flirtation that had been frustrating her for the past few weeks. When he had said those words that every girl dreads, she had thought he must have finally realized how out of his league she really was.

But, no. Instead, he had informed her that he was a vampire.

_A_ _vampire_.

Images of scarlet satin, creaking coffins, bats and cobwebs, and monsters that belonged in black and white movies had flooded her mind when he had uttered the word. As he explained about his 'family' and how they lived their 'vegetarian' lifestyle, the images had warped and twisted, overlaid with the faces of the Cullens, abstract and off-center and clearly _wrong_.

She sighed. Edward had also told her he could read people's minds.

It seemed so unfair that she had found a boy who was so irresistibly perfect - gorgeous, charming, intelligent, rich - and he was delusional. She wondered what exactly his diagnosis was. She hoped it wasn't anything that included the words _psychotic episode_.

After he had kissed her at prom, she had been on an Edward-induced high for days, entertaining her daydreams with thoughts of being his girlfriend. She had assumed the kiss was as good as a declaration, and was convinced he felt the same way she did.

She should have known it was all too good to be true.

Edward had not only confessed his "secret ability", but he had also informed her that Alice, her one and only friend in this town, could see the future. _Her husband,_ Jasper, could influence emotions, and they all lived together in their perfect vampire house with their pretend vampire parents.

Another bubble of panic-induced laughter escaped.

"I'm struggling to find words, Edward," Bella said as she collapsed on her bed. Today was officially the weirdest day of her life.

"Would it help if I showed you?" Edward said as he stood up.

"You already told me you can't read _my _thoughts," Bella said as she rolled her eyes, sarcasm dripping from every word. Of course, she was the only one he couldn't hear. How convenient for him.

Edward didn't respond.

Bella sat up and looked around, but Edward had vanished.

"Edward?" she whispered. Oh God, she was alone in the house with a boy she hardly knew. A boy who was undeniably mentally unstable. A boy who was hiding, laying in wait for her, ready to...

She couldn't bear to finish that line of thought. Edward might be insane, but he had never done anything to make her fear him.

"Edward, are you there?" she said tentatively as her heart began to race. She looked around the room wildly.

"I'm right here, don't be scared." Edward materialized beside her as if from thin air.

Bella gasped, a sudden surge of adrenaline racing through her veins.

"Sneaking up on someone does not make you a vampire, Edward," she said sharply. Anger flared inside her. How dare he scare her like that? This whole vampire thing was just ridiculous. Maybe she should just end it now before she encouraged this madness any further.

"Look, Edward..." Bella began.

"Bella, please. I know it's hard to believe, but it's what I am. Will you let me show you?" he pleaded.

Against her better judgment, she found herself taking Edward's outstretched hand and letting him lead her out of her room and down the stairs.

His hand was ice cold. She'd only really touched him one other time, on the night of the prom. It had been a chilly night and she had not thought anything of his cool skin then. Now, however, it was warm and the air conditioning was on, and yet, his hand was an unnaturally cool temperature. She refused to let her thoughts _go there_ and she shrugged it off. Perhaps he just had bad circulation.

They walked through the yard, and into the woods that backed on to the property. Bella had only been up there a few times since moving in. The bush got dense and thick only a few feet in from the fence line, and the sudden gloom had put her off exploring further. Charlie had told her the forest stretched on for miles, and the thought of getting lost, wandering aimlessly and all alone, or worse - having to spend the night curled up on the forest floor, was petrifying. She kept her walks short and restricted to the edges where the light still filtered through.

Edward didn't seem worried about getting lost in the forest though, and he led her purposefully, deeper into the thick trees.

Finally, they came to a small clearing and Edward stopped, dropping her hand and turning to face her.

"I need to show you. I need you to understand," he said earnestly.

He walked to the nearest tree and pulled it from its roots.

Bella gasped and rubbed her eyes, convinced they were playing tricks on her.

Edward pulled another tree from the ground, this time throwing it away as if it weighed no more than a football. It landed on the other side of the clearing, branches and dirt flying through the air as it impacted with the ground. Birds flew up into the sky, screeching their warnings as the sound of splintering wood echoed around them.

Bella stared wide-eyed at Edward as he looked at her expectantly.

"You want to see my super human speed as well?" he demanded.

"Okay?" Bella wasn't sure what she wanted. Her brain was too shocked to think anything at all.

Edward pointed through the trees to a small rise, a mile or so in the distance. "See that hill? Keep your eyes on it."

Bella nodded and turned her eyes back to Edward, but he was _gone_. She looked around, but just like earlier in her room; it was like he had vanished.

Reluctantly, she drew her eyes back to the hill Edward had just shown her, afraid of what she would see there.

He was standing on top of it.

Her hand flew to her mouth, covering it as she stood there in shock. It took her a second to process what she was seeing.

Suddenly, a whirlwind, thick with the scent of him, swirled around her, lifting the fallen leaves and forest debris into the air. She gasped as he reappeared beside her.

"I'm a vampire, Bella," he said seriously. "I'm faster and stronger than you can probably comprehend. Think of me as the ultimate predator - every one of my senses is a hundred times more evolved than a human's. There's no way to outrun me and no way to outfight me." He paused. "You could never hide from me."

He stood so close to her; just his proximity was intimidating. She looked up at him, shocked by the determined gleam in his eyes and the hard set of his jaw. She swallowed thickly as Edward glared at her, his resolve painted in the thick lines of his frown. His whole being was tense, poised, like a tiger ready to strike.

"You're a smart girl, Bella - you know what vampires feed on. Sure, I can live this vegetarian existence, but it's hardly fulfilling. It certainly doesn't take away the cravings; the unbearable thirst that burns inside me."

Bella could feel her heart racing and her palms were slick with sweat, but she refused to let the panic that was building up inside, overwhelm her. Edward's words settled around her, the weight of his warning heavy against her heart.

"I fight it the best I can, but human blood is the only thing that will ever satisfy me. Who knows how long I can hold out," he sneered.

His icy-sweet breath washed over her, instantly reminding her of the kiss they had shared at prom, when Edward had been so caring and attentive. He might be trying to scare her now, but she remembered the softness in his eyes as he had placed his lips on hers.

"I hate to burst your bubble, but you're really not as scary as you think you are. I don't find you scary at all, actually, " Bella said defiantly.

Edward laughed bitterly.

"Oh, Bella. I can hear your heart racing and I can smell your fear. And you should be afraid. You look at me and all you see is this mask. It's all a lie, designed to lure you in. Underneath, there's nothing but a dangerous monster. I've killed people before, you know. In fact, I could kill you in less than an instant. Right here. Right now. It would be so quick, you wouldn't even realize until it was too late."

Bella was afraid, very afraid, but in spite of everything she had seen and heard, she found herself unable to believe Edward would harm her.

"I know you won't hurt me," she whispered. She stared at the ground, unable to meet his eyes, even as she felt herself trembling.

Edward reached out and softly pulled her jaw up with his fingertips. She closed her eyes, afraid that she had pushed him too far. Whatever Edward was, there was an undeniable edge of danger to him; something menacing that boiled under the surface. She was beginning to regret goading him; in fact, she was regretting coming out here with him in the first place.

"Look at me," he demanded.

She took a deep breath and pulled her eyes up to meet his gaze. His eyes were softer now, familiar tenderness simmering behind the glowing amber.

"I've never wanted someone as much as I want you, Bella. But you need to understand this is what I am," he said softly.

"I'm not your Prince Charming or your Knight in Shining Armor. I'm not perfect. Hell, I'm not even human; I'm an abomination, a freak. You need to know how dangerous I am."

Bella was speechless as Edward changed tact. Gone was the lurking monster, ready to destroy her; in its place was just...Edward. Maybe a little more complicated now, but underneath all the shock and awe and disbelief was the same irresistible boy she had fallen for.

"Bella, I want to be yours. I hope you can see past all of this, and see the real me. I will do anything it takes to be good enough for you. I want to be better...for you," he finished. His expression was guarded as he waited for her to respond.

"You really want me?" Bella wanted to kick the overly eager, love-sick girl that had suddenly taken over her voice. Was she really going to accept everything Edward had shown her today, so easily?

"Absolutely, " he smiled. "I never thought I would want to have a relationship with a human girl. But I cant stop thinking about you, Bella. I tried to ignore my feelings for you. I told myself it was too risky and that it would never work. There's just something there, I can't explain it. I've never felt like this before. I know it will be difficult, but I have never wanted anything as much as I want to make this work...with you. Maybe I'm being a selfish bastard to even expect you to agree after everything you've heard, but I want to try. I want to be yours," he said passionately.

Bella's heart began to flutter as she heard him reveal his feelings for her. She could hear nothing but sincerity in his tone, and in spite of her fear and reservations, she found herself imagining him embracing her again, maybe even kissing her.

"If you'll have me, of course," he grinned. "Maybe you have a pathological fear of vampires and I'm out of luck."

Bella felt herself relaxing as playful Edward returned.

"Jesus, Edward. First you tell me you're a vampire and that you could kill me in a flash and then, the next minute, you're telling me that you like me and you want to be with me. Your mood swings are giving me whiplash," she laughed.

"I'm sorry. I know it's a lot to process, but you need to know everything. I want you to say that you'll have me, even as flawed as I am, but I'll understand if you never want to see me again. I'll go and..."

"No!" she blurted out suddenly, unable to imagine her life without Edward in it. She knew she was confused; her mind was racing with a disorienting turmoil of thoughts and emotions, but of one thing she was absolutely certain. She wanted Edward.

She smiled. "I need some time, Edward."

"Of course. I'm just relieved you're even going to consider it, Bella," Edward said as he took her hand. "We should head back."

As they walked back to the house, Bella found her shock and astonishment giving way to a muted acceptance as her mind wrestled to make sense of all the amazing things Edward had shown her. It was unbelievable, but there seemed to be no other explanation.

Holding his hand in hers, she felt comforted by the protective strength of his grip and for the first time, she felt safe and unafraid in the forest. Holding his cold, _pulseless_ hand in hers made her think of something.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"How old are you really?"

"I was born in 1901."

"Wow," Bella paused, considering. "So you're...what? Undead? Is that why you're so cold?"

"I guess so. I won't ever age and I won't ever die, if that's what you mean, " Edward said somberly.

"Oh." Again, Bella found herself lost for words in the face of the wonder that was Edward. He was right - this was all a lot to take in.

"Like I said, I know it will be difficult, but I will do whatever it takes to make this work, Bella."

They walked in an easy silence as Bella considered what Edward had said.

"It must be so amazing to know you're going to live forever. I mean, there are so many things you could do, and you'll never run out of time to do them," Bella said excitedly, her voice full of wonder. "You'll always be young and beautiful. God..." she sighed, "that is so amazing! You'll never get old and tired and wrinkly."

Bella didn't notice the sadness in Edward's eyes as he looked at her.

"Eternity is a long time," he said quietly.

"The things you must have seen and experienced! Wow. I have a lot of questions for you," Bella said in amazement.

"Well, let's get you back and then you can ask me anything you want, " Edward said indulgently, as he lead her through the forest towards her home, and the start of their future together.

* * *

**A/N:  
Vanpirenz (check out her story Those Amongst Us, only a few chapters in but shaping up to be beautiful and angsty) and Betham are my beautiful beta team. I was total punctuation fail on this chapter and they fixed it all up, as they always do.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	12. COLLIDE

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: COLLIDE  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxPETER  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 38 (11months before the events in Ch9)

* * *

"Oh, Peter! This is wonderful." Bella stared in awe at the candlelit room.

Glowing tea-lights flickered on every surface, casting soft shadows across the room. The dining table with its crisp tablecloth, shining cutlery and crystal glasses looked like it belonged in a 5-star restaurant. It was a vision of romance.

Bella marveled at the effort he must have gone to, to arrange everything before she got home. She leaned over to admire the huge vase of white lilies that graced the center of the table; stark, snow-white petals framing the vivid orange stems. She inhaled a deep breath full of their spicy scent.

"I thought a single rose would have been more fitting, but I know you don't like them," Peter said softly.

"Is it a special occasion?" she asked distractedly, trying to recall if she had forgotten something important.

Peter wrapped her in his arms and tenderly kissed the top of her head.

"It is indeed. It's one year since we met."

She gazed up into his clear blue eyes, azure sky and deepest ocean, sparkling with nothing but love for her.

"You mean, one year since you collided with me in a grocery store," Bella laughed.

"What do you mean? It was _you _who collided with _me_!" Peter replied, playfully.

Bella smiled to herself as she remembered that ordinary day that had changed everything. It wasn't every day that she went to get groceries and came home with a man's phone number; a tall, dark and handsome man's phone number at that.

She still had the receipt that Peter had scribbled his details on that day, stored safely in her jewelery box. When she had arrived home after their 'encounter,' she had held that innocuous piece of paper in her hands for hours, trying to decide whether she should just throw it away, or take a chance. Take a chance on Peter. Take a chance on living again.

Peter released her, reaching over to the table for the bottle of wine. He held it out to her with a flourish. "Glass of bubbles?" he asked with a grin.

"You didn't," Bella said incredulously.

"I did." Peter expertly opened the wine and poured them each a glass.

"To us," he said as he held his own flute up in a toast.

"To us."

Bella swallowed the sweet tickling bubbles with a smile. It was so very Peter to remember the little details, right down to the bottle of wine.

The past year had flown by so quickly, that Bella had almost forgotten about the bottle of champagne that had sacrificed itself on the grocery store floor. She grinned as she remembered how she had hastily grabbed a bottle of bubbly, and then turned too quickly, slamming into a big, muscly wall of man. Peter had been so lovely about the whole thing, even as his dress pants dripped with the sticky alcohol. Bella, on the other hand, had been drenched, her dress wet and clinging to her as she stood in shock and embarrassment. Peter had offered to pay for it to be cleaned; at least, that's the excuse he had used as he scrawled out his number for her.

It had not been a conventional way to meet someone, but they had laughed about it in the following months, joking that it was going to be a good story to tell their grandchildren.

Bella took another swallow of the soft, alcohol-filled bubbles. Peter had never asked why she had been buying expensive champagne that day. In an eerie coincidence, that day had also marked a one year anniversary. One year since...

Bella refilled her glass quickly. The memory was bittersweet, both a new beginning and a sorrowful ending; one flashback that was both the breath of new life - joy and rebirth - and the extinguishing of a lifetime of dreams.

Her pain back then had still been raw, her wounds seeping like an open blister on her heart. Life on her own had been unbearably lonely, empty, terrifying. The regret and self-doubt had scratched away at the very surface of her being, leaving her exposed and vulnerable. She had intended to douse her wounds in alcohol, a fitting way to mark twelve months of misery in her self-inflicted hell.

Bella grimaced. Thinking about her life then was almost like recalling a movie she had watched a long time ago. It was a life so removed from her reality now that she had trouble reconciling that broken, hurting woman with who she was today. It was almost like it had been someone else who had spent a whole year afraid and alone, living a half-life inside an empty shell.

Peter had literally crashed into her life, and in doing so had reawakened her from the pain-induced lethargy. Before that day, she hadn't so much as looked at another man, and she had shocked herself when she found herself dialing his number. The first two times, she had put down the phone before pushing 'send', but there had been something about his wide, open smile that had left her feeling warm and safe, and she had picked up the phone again.

Now, here she was, another year older, another year had passed. Except this was a year worth celebrating, for all the right reasons_._

A year of living.

She watched Peter in the kitchen, busily arranging food on plates. She smiled as she recognized the smell of her favorite pizza. Cooking was definitely not Peter's forte, but she appreciated that he had gone to so much effort to make this special for her. She watched his handsome face, serious as he concentrated on his task, a light dusting of grey above his temple visible in the soft candle glow.

Peter had celebrated his fortieth birthday the previous month, the silvering of his hair the only indicator that he was fast approaching middle age. His body was still lean and muscular, thanks to the long runs he enjoyed every morning, and his face showing only the lightest of wrinkles when his face broke into a smile. He was handsome, not in a chiseled male-model kind of way, but with kind and open features that instantly put people at ease. Bella had found herself won over by his charm and affable personality, his easy-going nature the perfect salve for her apprehension.

As he placed her dinner in front of her, Bella thought about how patient he had been, giving her the space and time she had needed to heal, and being there for her when she needed help to find the courage to move on with her life. His optimism and overwhelming love for her had, all at once, scared and excited her, but there was no denying that it had been his affection and attention which had sparked her heartbeat back into rhythm.

Peter's love may have eased the edges of her broken heart back together, but like any new scar, there was still a tenderness, a reminder that it would only take the slightest pressure for the wound to rupture open again.

Bella tried to concentrate on the fact that Peter was the normal, human life she had wanted to find. He was the answer to the nagging unease that had plagued her for years. He was everything she could ever want, and more.

And yet, sometimes he didn't quite fill the void.

Sometimes a little sliver of unbidden thought escaped, snaking its way into her consciousness. Tonight's celebration of love and happiness had unwittingly peeled back the edges of the scab again, the pain and loss threatening to bleed out as the memories of another life, another lover, teetered on the edge of her thoughts.

Bella gulped down the remains of her glass, before standing up slowly, and moving to sit in Peter's lap.

"Thank you. Tonight has been perfect," she breathed against his neck as she kissed the stubble along his jaw. He tasted like salt and _man_, all musk and heat, and earthy want and need.

"It's my pleasure," he muttered in response as he ran his hands up her back, pulling her closer to him.

"You know what would make it even more perfect?" Bella whispered, before placing soft, wet kisses along the shell of his ear.

"I have a fairly good idea," he said, moaning as she began to rub herself against the straining bulge in his jeans.

The searing heat of his skin, an outward assertion of the passion that burned fierce within him, still came as a surprise even after all this time, and she relished the feel of him, burning hot with desire under her hands.

He claimed her mouth in his, making her body tense with a sudden surge of lust and longing as his tongue swept against hers. His arms wrapped around her, tight, strong and safe. She found the memories fading away as she lost herself in the sensations of Peter's love.

She closed her eyes and let herself forget.

* * *

**A/N:  
Hugs and grateful thanks to Vanpirenz and Betham. Things would be ugly and comma-less without them.**

**Are you reading Stranger than Fiction by MasenVixen? Its damn good, go check it out. **


	13. RAPACIOUS

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: RAPACIOUS  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxEDWARD  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 39.

I'm going to stick another 'this is an M rated story' disclaimer here. This chapter contains adult content.

* * *

Bella sighed as she watched Peter's car drive away. A cloud of dust, disappearing into the distance as he made his way down the winding country lane.

They had spent the past week on vacation at a secluded holiday home on the edges of the lake. A whole week of enjoying each other's company without the pressures of real life, relaxing in the sun, swimming, and simply basking in the quiet. It had been the break they had both needed, perfect in every way; perfect up until the point when Peter had been called back to the city for a work emergency. Bella wasn't sure exactly what constituted an 'emergency' for an architectural firm, but Peter had reluctantly headed back. They were paid up for another couple of days, so she had decided to stay on by herself. She wasn't quite ready to head back to work and reality just yet.

She wandered back into the quaint, but comfortable, cottage, picking up her mobile as she passed the hallway sideboard.

**Miss you already.** She sent Peter a quick text before heading into the kitchen to fix herself a glass of wine.

It was only an hour or two before nightfall, but the air was thick and balmy and Bella took her wine out to the deck. She took a tiny sip as she stood, leaning against the veranda railing, admiring the view over the lake. It was so beautiful and serene, she thought she might never want to go back.

Twilight had begun to paint the sky in vivid strokes of orange and pink, the muted light casting shafts of light across the rippling water. She almost felt a little sad, watching the stunning swansong for what was essentially the death of the day. Night would descend into place soon and with it, a different kind of beauty and peace.

_I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars._

She swallowed the rest of her glass quickly as if to wash away the memory.

Suddenly, there was a flash of movement on the edge of her vision, and she gasped as a shadowy figure emerged from the edge of forest that surrounded the house. She could feel her heart pounding as the person approached quickly...too quickly.

She could barely believe her eyes when the stranger emerged from the shadows.

"Edward?" she whispered in disbelief, a stomach-dropping sense of dread, and anticipation sinking to the tips of her toes. "What the hell are you doing here? How did you..."

Edward smiled apologetically. "Alice slipped up," he said softly.

He didn't move any closer to her, standing just inside the line of light that flowed out from the house. Bella found it hard to drag her eyes from him, and she swallowed thickly as she drank him in. He hadn't changed at all, and the observation sent a pang of envy and regret through her bones.

"Are you going to invite me in?" he asked, his smooth, deep voice a shockingly familiar sound that echoed inside her heart.

"Um, yeah, I guess so... Come in." Bella motioned with her hand for him to follow her. She wasn't sure how she was managing to speak or move, the shock of seeing him again numbing every thought and sensation.

"This is nice," he said flatly as he looked around the living room.

"It is, yeah, really quiet. It's...er...nice." Bella rolled her eyes at herself. Was it possible her 17-year-old self had resurfaced? Or was there another explanation as to why she was, once again, bumbling through sentences, helplessly incoherent in the presence of Edward?

A heavy silence filled the space between them.

Bella found herself fidgeting, not sure what to say or do. If he were human, she could at least offer him a drink, but he wasn't; she couldn't even use time honored social traditions to mask her unease.

She pretended to rearrange the random objects on the desk in front of her, aware her hands were picking up things, but not even registering what they were. Her thoughts were scattered and frenzied as she tried to make sense of this mystifying appearance of a ghost from her past.

Three years since she had seen him last. It felt like a lifetime ago.

She could feel her skin prickling, and she knew instantly his eyes were on her. It was unsettling. There had been a time in her life when that feeling would have meant something different, something pleasant; arousing even. Now, she wasn't sure what she was meant to feel.

"Did you come here for a reason?" she asked suddenly, her mind automatically flicking through possible scenarios that would explain his appearance. Had something happened to Carlisle or Esme? Alice? Her stomach dropped further as she considered all the worst-case scenarios. Were there bad things that happened to vampires, too?

"I came to see you."

His matter-of-fact reply caught her off guard. She couldn't decide if his answer was better, or worse, than knowing that there was no bad news to accompany him.

"Why?" she whispered, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"Because I couldn't go another day without seeing you. I just wanted to make sure you were alright...that you were happy."

His words pierced her heart, picking away at the edges of old scars. She tried to ignore the tentacles of panic that were wrapping around her chest, pulling tight and making her breath come quick and fast.

"Well, I am, actually. I _am _happy. I got married and he's great. He's just popped out for a bit. He might even be on his way back by now." The lies slipped off her lips in a rush, before she had even registered what it was she was saying, her mind desperately trying to find an escape.

The panic pulled tighter.

Bella cringed as she watched a flash of pain whip across Edward's face. For the first time since he had come inside, she _really _looked at him.

She had been mistaken - he didn't look the same at all. His face was gaunt, cheeks hollow and skin paler; sallow even. There was a tense line to his shoulders that she couldn't remember ever seeing before. His eyes had haunted her dreams for years; glowing amber, liquid honey, soft and warm. Tonight they were coal-black, glinting with something hard and dangerous.

"When was the last time you hunted?" she asked cautiously.

"A while ago. He loves you, you know."

"What?" she asked, taken aback by both of Edward's admissions.

"He loves you. I heard him, before."

Bella blanched as she realized Edward had been in the shadows watching, waiting...thirsty.

"He loves you. It's actually kind of sweet, to hear him think about you. I'm glad you found someone."

There was no mistaking the strain in his voice. He let out a strangled laugh.

"Hearing him...It made me realize that there were holes in your life I could never have filled. I'm pleased you found someone that could give you the things I couldn't."

Bella couldn't think of anything to say, so she watched, her unease and fear rising as Edward flitted across the room. His movements like flickers of flame, dangerous, unpredictable and yet, mesmerizing. She tried to remember if she had ever seen him so unhinged. She could almost see the last thread of control fraying before her eyes. She tried not to think about what would happen if it were to snap.

"What do you want, Edward?"

She hoped her question would redirect his energy. It was almost painful to watch him moving through the room like a blur at vampire speed, and then in the next breath, human speed again, like an exaggerated frame by frame replay. His agitation spilled across the room as his disconnected movements became more and more random.

He laughed bitterly.

"I don't know if this was a good idea, you should probably go." She tried to make her voice sound confident and authoritative, but it came out sounding like a question.

She had always known that his cool, calm, and collected exterior hid something primal and elemental, something sinister, but she had never truly believed he would ever hurt her.

Until now.

"Probably," he said with a sigh of resignation, yet he made no move to go.

Bella stared out the window, the lake a shimmer of darkest gold as the sun lay on the horizon. She concentrated on the beautiful view, trying to calm herself, all the while knowing Edward could hear her heart trying to beat its way out of her chest.

She felt her skin prickling again.

She turned quickly, ready to tell him to leave, gasping as she almost collided with him. He was so close she could feel the coolness of his body lowering the temperature of the whisper of air that separated them.

His peppermint-ice breath swept over her like a nerve gas, numbing the fear and the pain, and rekindling old, buried memories. She gasped as the familiar sensation washed over her, laced with thoughts and feelings that she had denied for so long.

"I know I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry. I just..."

She watched as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair, pulling on the ends despairingly. His face was folded in anguish; his shoulders bent under an invisible burden.

This wasn't the Edward she had known and loved. That Edward had been a master at keeping everything under control and in check. An overwhelming sense of pity and sorrow swept over her. He looked so young and vulnerable, like a little boy lost.

"Shh. It's okay," she said softly, reaching her hand out to cradle the side of his face. The feel of his wintry cold skin against her palm sparked an emotion in the back of her mind; something familiar but just out of reach.

His eyes, impenetrable obsidian, glistened as he stared into her's, boring into her soul.

He lowered his head, resting his forehead on hers, the coolness of his skin a balm that calmed the maelstrom of thoughts inside her head.

"He really loves you, but not like I do. No one could ever love you as much as I do. I can't hear your thoughts, but I can see in your eyes you feel the same way," he said softly.

Tears began to prickle behind her eyes and she took a ragged breath as her heart fluttered at his words. His voice, thick with grief, cutting to her core. She could hear his pain, stretched taut over his bones like a second skin.

Ever so slowly he leaned in, placing a whisper of a kiss on her lips, sweet and heart-breakingly familiar.

Edward kissed her again, harder, firmer. She couldn't bring herself to pull away as his lips brushed over hers. This feeling of being close to him, tasting him, touching him - it ached and burned and made her thirsty for more. Her body remembered, and a surge of need ignited inside her, like a recovering addict who just scored a fix.

She moaned as his kiss grew more intense and urgent. Hard as granite, his lips moved against her's, his cold tongue slipping into her mouth as the throbbing between her legs grew more insistent with every passing second.

She had forgotten how sweet his ice-breath tasted, how cool his skin was. Kissing Peter was hot and soft and...

Peter.

Guilt began to claw its way to the surface and she pulled away, panting for breath as the magnitude of what she was doing hit home.

"Edward, I..."

He pulled her to him again, sweeping his hands over her hips and over the swell of her ass, pushing her against the evidence of his own desire. She gasped as he began to grind against her, his hands pushing into her hair and his lips moved needfully along her neck.

Her mind stumbled over half-formed thoughts as her body burst into flames of desire. It remembered how well he knew her every need, how good he could make her feel, and it wanted that again; here, now.

Every touch, every kiss, every murmur against her skin intensified the fire even further, those once buried memories alive and vibrant again. She could feel her own hands exploring his body, rejoicing as they rediscovered the plains of his chest, the line of his jaw and the feel of his bronzed hair in her fingers.

Her mind, chaotic and messy, tried in vain to rein in her body's response. Shame and guilt boiled and tumbled over lust and desire, while her vanity shouted from the rooftops, elated he still found her attractive despite her age.

She found herself sucked back into the overwhelming magnetism of him, a sudden wave of lust drowning her as he growled against her neck.

So Edward.

_Edward_

_Edward_

_Peter_

Peter

Her mind kept returning to Peter. Peter, who loved and cherished her, who had helped her heal when she was broken and hurting. Peter, her human life. Peter, her husband.

Her mind awoke with a start - what the hell was she doing?

She didn't have a chance to try and figure that out as his hunger and need enveloped her, a flash-point of desire as he effortlessly picked her up and pushed her up against the wall behind them. Her legs wrapped themselves around his hips on their own accord.

_Edward_

His hands and mouth devoured her, leaving her breathless, thoughtless, lost in reckless abandon. She could feel her desire reaching fever pitch, wet and throbbing and insistent.

He snarled as he ripped open her blouse, his lips and hands seemingly everywhere at once as he claimed every inch of her bare skin with his touch. He pushed under her skirt, skimming the edges of her panties, then tearing them from her, the shock of it making her cry out.

Peter always made love to her, slow and gentle.

Peter

_Edward_

She felt his hands gripping her hips, hard as stone, purpling her skin as they held her tight against him.

Then he was pushing inside of her, hard and fast, sheathing himself in her slick heat, urgent and demanding.

She could hear moaning but she wasn't sure if the sound was coming from him or from herself.

Her body sung as he stretched and filled her, electrifying every nerve ending in her body.

Familiar.

Forbidden.

He began to move in her, his eyes blazing with hunger as he thrust against her. His movements were raw and needy...dangerous. Edward had always kept his desire under control, always wary of the fine line between sex and death. Tonight, she could feel him spinning out of control as his lust built, the shine in his eyes murderous and black as night.

Bella found herself looking in the eyes of a predator.

She closed her eyes in fear, arching her back, feeling herself pinned against the wall by his granite-like body. She gasped, desperate for breath as he fucked her harder, faster. Her arousal kept her heart pounding as her body raced towards climax, and oblivion.

She found leverage on his shoulders, digging her nails in as she felt her body coil and tense, the pressure beginning to build and spread down her limbs. Then, there was nothing but sweet release, every muscle contracting in rapture as her orgasm overwhelmed her.

Edward's voice in her ear, chanting her name, pulled her from the haze of pleasure. She could feel him shaking, close to his own end and on the verge of snapping the last strand of control . He groaned against her neck, and pushed into her hard and deep, shooting a cool stream of venomous cum inside her.

Sweat trickled down her back as she collapsed against him, seeking the cool relief of his vampire skin. She wrapped her arms around his neck, shaking as the after-effects of their frenzied ecstasy left her breathless, hot and sweaty. His comforting, strong arms released her gently, allowing her to lower her legs to the ground. She winced as she came back down to Earth, muscles strained and protesting.

Edward's eyes opened wide with shock and shame as he noticed the flash of discomfort on her face.

He stepped back from her hurriedly, his face aghast.

"Did I hurt you?" he demanded.

There was no doubt in Bella's mind she would have bruises in the morning, but there was no pain; just a delicious ache between her legs where he had claimed her, an erotic reminder of the mind-blowing orgasm he had commanded from her in just a few short minutes.

"Maybe a little bruised. I'm OK. Really," she said softly, trying to appease the look of pain on his face.

He pulled his hand through his hair, his demeanor once again tense and strained as disgust and self-loathing radiated from him.

"I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to come here...and...disturb you."

She watched as he began to pace the floor again. Her bliss slid away, replaced by anxiety as she realized how tortured and broken he was.

"I know you wanted me to let you be. I should have respected that. I'm sorry," he said fervently. "Please forgive me."

And then he was gone.

She blinked, shocked and speechless as she stared at the place where he had been standing a heartbeat earlier.

She looked frantically around the room, knowing it was futile.

He had left her.

Silence and the smell of sex lingered in the air.

"You fucking bastard!" she screamed, collapsing to the floor as old scars slashed open and pieces of her heart tumbled to the floor.

* * *

**A/N:  
OK, just in case anyone is concerned or confused, Edward ****did not**** rape Bella. This was 100% consensual, even if she did feel a bit conflicted and guilty (and so she should). She did not ask, **_**or want**_**, him to stop. The prompt I used for this chapter is **_**rapacious**_**, look it up if you are not sure what it means. I don't think the content really requires a****n explanation ****but I just wanted to cover my bases.  
****  
This will be a 25 chapter fic so we're on the home stretch now. Thank you to everyone who is reading this, especially those of you who review every chapter - your support blows me away. Thank you.**

**Vanpirenz and Betham - they rock my world. They fix everything up, leave me the best comments and hold my hand when I need it. I couldn't do this without them.**

**I have some huge real-life fail (which includes being internet-less...eek!) coming up and I don't know when I will be able to update again. JSYK, even if I don't get this done by the Twi25 deadline I am making a commitment to finishing this, regardless. So bear with me, hopefully I'll be back in a couple of weeks.  
**


	14. RESTRAINT

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: RESTRAINT  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxEDWARD  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 17.

* * *

"I'm so glad you finally decided," Alice said excitedly. Edward watched her as she bounced up and down. Her thoughts were scattered and chaotic, childlike in their enthusiasm.

"I hadn't realized I decided something," Edward replied dryly.

"Bella and I are going to be best friends, I can just see it," Alice said as she clapped her hands together.

Edward resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her. Despite her future-seeing abilities, she was so naive sometimes.

"Even if I have decided something_,_ which I haven't, by the way, you need to keep your thoughts to yourself. This is too important to me. _Bella _is too important to me. I can't have you and your visions influencing anything."

Edward almost felt guilty as Alice's excitement fizzled away, like he'd just stabbed a hole in her happy-filled balloon. He hated asking this of her, but it was the only way.

"Of course," she said quickly. "I promise I'll keep anything Bella-related to myself. You won't have to worry." She smiled at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't mean to be so blunt, but I don't think any good is going to come from knowing. I want things to be as normal for her as I can manage, and that means no visions."

"Right. No visions."

He knew how hard this was going to be for her; he may as well have been asking her to shut down one of her senses. He knew she found it difficult to stop her thoughts spilling out, the visions often coming without warning, debilitating her as they took control of her mind. He was asking her to rein in a part of herself that she had limited and erratic control over.

Edward's conscience chastised him for being so self-absorbed and selfish, but he ignored the feelings of guilt that squirmed in the deepest corners of his mind. Having a relationship with a human was going to be the most difficult thing he had ever attempted in all his numerous years. He didn't need the added burden of having access to flashes of future that may, or may not, come to fruition.

Edward didn't want to admit that he was also afraid of what he might see.

"We need to figure this out for ourselves, Alice. It's going to be hard, but we need to find a way to make it work. On our own," Edward said, hoping his cajoling tone would appease his sister and take the sting out of his request.

"I can still be her friend, though, right?" Alice asked quietly.

"Of course." Edward smiled as Alice's thoughts slowly returned to taking Bella on shopping expeditions to high-end fashion boutiques. He was glad her dejection was being replaced with her usual vivacity again.

"And no hair-cuts. I like it long," he said suddenly as Alice's thoughts turned to make-overs, an image of Bella with shoulder length hair invading his mind.

Alice laughed. "Ok. But I get to take her shopping."

"Fine," he relented. Bella had seemed to appreciate Alice's help with the prom, so perhaps she wouldn't mind being held hostage by Alice - the over-exuberant fashion diva. She had said she needed some warmer clothes, after all.

"I'll be gentle, I promise!" Alice assured him, almost as if she was the one who could read minds.

"I hate to ask this of you, Alice, but it has to be this way. I hope you can see that," Edward said softly.

"Everything's going to be fine, Edward. I just know it."

* * *

A low, menacing growl rose up in Edward's throat. His hands clenched in fists, every muscle in his body strained and tense as he fought the urge to rip Tyler Crowley's head from his shoulders.

"Edward! Chill!" Jasper muttered under his breath as he shot a soothing wave of peacefulness at him.

Edward breathed in the hit of calm and immediately felt his body uncoiling, his hands unfurling and his shoulders dropping. Jasper pushed another wave of relief at him and he sucked it back gratefully, feeling himself stepping back from the edge.

"Whatever the fuck is bothering you, you need to get a grip. People are looking," Jasper said urgently.

Edward grimaced. Contrary to most people's opinions, being able to read minds was not a blessing. More often than not, Edward simply felt like it was another burden; another price to pay for being an abomination, a monster. Today was certainly no exception. Right now, he would do anything to not know the sick thoughts that were emanating from Tyler's hormone-fuelled mind.

He quickly glanced around the crowded lunchroom. Jasper was right. Around them, tables of students feigned indifference while they glanced furtively at him, wide-eyed and cautious. Their thoughts swirled around him, a rabid mixture of curiosity and fear.

He relaxed his face, returning it to the polite mask that allowed him to go undetected amongst the humans. Underneath the calm exterior, his anger continued to simmer, pushing against the blanket of Jasper's calm.

Jasper searched his face anxiously. "Better," he said simply.

"This is harder than I thought, Jasper," Edward said as he shook his head. Tyler's thoughts were still playing out his pathetic fantasies. He cringed as the images warped and twisted, Tyler was now imagining Bella on her knees sucking him off.

"I have to get out of here," he said suddenly, his control close to snapping as his anger surged again. He stalked out of the cafeteria, glaring at Tyler with a homicidal glint in his eye.

Jasper chuckled to himself as he watched Edward's retreating back.

_Dude, you've got it bad. _

Edward sighed. Jasper was probably right.

* * *

Edward skimmed his hand over the creamy skin of Bella's thigh.

She was so soft, silky smooth and perfect in her fragility. The heat of her skin blazed against the tips of his fingers and he marveled at the feel of her human-ness against his vampire hands. It had been such a long time since he had touched a girl like this he had almost forgotten how sublime it felt to touch the delicate feminine curves of a woman's body.

He buried his face in her neck, breathing in deep and swallowing in the scent of her. The smell of sweat and girl and sex filled his nostrils, so thick with emotion he could almost feel it sliding down the back of his throat.

Bella wiggled under his embrace as his cool breath washed over her neck, her skin pebbling into a thousand tiny goose-bumps that tickled his nose. He smiled against her, leaving a trail of light-as-air kisses along her jaw, and let his hand wander higher.

Bella gasped as his icy fingers moved to the apex of her thighs, brushing against her sensitive lips.

He could hear her heartbeat begin to quicken as he rubbed his knuckles over her, teasing her arousal even further. He closed his eyes, mesmerized by the sound of her blood thundering in her veins. The steady beat, ventricles and valves pumping and releasing in the most basic of involuntary human functions, hypnotizing as it sung to him with its sweet, erotic call. He pressed his lips to the throbbing artery in her neck, the blood pulsing against her parchment-thin skin.

Taunting him.

_So close._

He could almost smell the sanguine elixir that flowed so tantalizingly close to the surface.

_So very close._

Just a nip, a bite, a suck, a swallow.

It would be so easy to just...

Bella moaned as his fingers dipped inside. She was hot and swollen, slick with want and desire.

"Is this OK?" he whispered, his voice husky, thick with his own needs.

She nodded, her body arching towards his hand as he pushed his fingers deep inside her. Her velvet walls, hot and tight, burning against his icy skin.

She whimpered little sounds of pleasure as he pushed into her rhythmically, the movement of his fingers keeping time with the beat of her heart.

His own need began to overwhelm him as she began to buck against his hand, her whimpers turning to moans and her grip on his forearm so tight it made her knuckles turn white. His cock, rock-hard and suffocating in the confines of his pants, pushed against the denim, aching and needy.

Her heartbeat was racing now, erratic and flighty as her body tensed in anticipation of her orgasm.

Edward swallowed a mouthful of venom as images of his razor teeth slicing through her sweet flesh flooded his mind. The thirst for her blood burned like fire in his throat, the cravings crippling and overpowering.

He groaned as his mind played out scenarios of Bella lying beneath him, naked and supplicating, arching her neck and offering herself to him. Image after image of biting her as she came undone underneath him flashed relentlessly through his mind.

He gripped her shoulder harder, fighting the urge to sink his teeth into her narrow neck. His other hand seemed to move on its own accord, pressing inside her wet heat, coaxing the ecstasy from within her.

Then, she was cumming on his hand, tight waves of pressure on his fingers and cries of his name in his ear.

He flung his eyes open, escaping the torture that screened on the inside of his eyelids and just concentrated on her pleasure. He drank in the sight of her coming to pieces against him - the sheen of sweat against her collarbone, the blush of pink across her cheeks. She was beautiful in her vulnerability as she came down, panting and squirming against his hand as her body stopped contracting.

She was intoxicating.

He smiled at her as she sighed contentedly.

"OK?" he asked, a smug smile on his face.

"More than OK," Bella laughed. "Definitely more than OK." She blew out a breath and collapsed back on the bed.

Edward didn't miss the wince of discomfort as she raised her arms above her head.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, concerned and afraid that in his own lust-filled haze he'd caused her pain.

"Um. Maybe a little bit. Just my shoulder," Bella said reluctantly. "Nowhere else," she added hurriedly, blushing and embarrassed. Edward leaned over and kissed the fingertip shaped bruises on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to," he said as his lips pressed lightly against her skin. "This is going to take some practice. The touching you, I mean...how soft I need to be. It's been so long, I forgot how easy it is to..." Edward couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"I"m so sorry, Bella."

Edward searched Bella's eyes, hoping he wouldn't see revulsion or fear. He was ashamed and disgusted with himself for losing control, for gripping her too tight, for thinking about killing her. He wouldn't blame her if this was enough to change her mind. He had warned her, when they had talked in the woods, that he was dangerous, that he was a monster. Now she knew how easily he could hurt her, without even meaning to, would she still want to take the risk on him?

But there was nothing in her eyes but acceptance and a post-coital glow.

"Edward, it's fine. Honestly."

She leaned over and kissed him. Her lips, plump and soft, pressed against his, all sweet and sex and gratitude.

"We can practice all you want," she said with a smile.

* * *

**A/N: I'm back earlier than anticipated (yay!). I am pleased to say that the "nowhere to live" crisis was averted at the 11th hour. I'm trying to write every day, in between unpacking boxes and getting sorted in our new home. The deadline for this gig is end of March so I'm going to be nose to the grindstone to get this done in time. Reviews are the best kind of encouragement!**

**Thanks (again!) to Betham and Vanpirenz for feedback and fixing.**


	15. PATIENCE

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: PATIENCE  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxPETER  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 42.

* * *

Bella collapsed onto the sofa, every bone in her body aching, her limbs heavy and weary. The demands of her new role were more tiring than she could ever have anticipated. The constant activity left her muscles strained and her feet throbbing, and the unrelenting responsibility and worry weighed heavily on her shoulders. Still, as weak and worn out as she was, she wouldn't have it any other way.

Motherhood was easily the most exhausting, and the most rewarding, job she had ever done.

Bella closed her eyes, shutting out the sight of the scattered couch cushions, the pile of books pulled out of the bookcase, the cracker crumb trail leading to the kitchen where the day's dishes still sat. She hadn't had a moment's rest all day, and still the house looked like it had been hit by a tornado.

Tornado Mary: small but ferocious.

Today, Tornado Mary had been particularly trying, testing every inch of Bella's patience. While Bella was busy in the living room on an important phone call, Mary discovered that she could drag a chair to the pantry. Suddenly a whole new world of exciting and forbidden play materials were within her reach. By the time she had finished her phone call, the kitchen had been covered in white powder where Mary had emptied the flour box so she could 'make letters' in it. While Bella had cleaned everything up, Mary had escaped out the back door and proceeded to dig in the pots that she had planted with spring bulbs the previous weekend. As she had cleaned up yet another child-created mess, Bella resolved to talk to Peter about putting in a sandpit for her muck-loving daughter.

Bella gasped as she felt herself being shaken.

"Isabella, honey. It's time for dinner." Peter's voice sounded strange, almost like an echo.

Startled, she opened her eyes, rubbing them in disbelief as she pulled herself out of her dream state. Had she really been dozing in the living room?

Peter smiled at her kindly. "It's late, but I thought you should eat before you head to bed."

Bella sat up, stretching her arms above her head. She never slept during the day. It was a disconcerting feeling to know she had slept right through Peter's return from work.

She looked around the room in surprise. There was not a single trace left of the day's debris. Peter had tidied and cleaned, sorted and stacked; the room looked tidy and organized for the first time in what felt like weeks.

"Oh my God! How long have I been sleeping?"

"You've been snoring a good couple of hours," he laughed. "I tidied up, watched some TV, made some calls. I left you there, you looked so peaceful."

"Really?" she said incredulously. "What about..?" Bella stood up quickly, panic racing through her body as she realized just how long she had been oblivious to the world.

"I just checked on Mary. She's sound asleep."

"Thank you." Bella wrapped her arms around Peter's neck. "I don't know what I've done to deserve you," she said gratefully. She kissed him softly, letting her embrace convey her thanks and appreciation.

"You cooked?" Bella said incredulously as the smell of freshly cooked eggs wafted in the air.

"I did! I made scrambled eggs...._and_....there are no black bits this time!" Peter said excitedly. Bella laughed and walked to the dining table where Peter had left her dinner.

"I can order in a pizza if it's really bad." Peter laughed as he watched Bella cautiously fill her fork. She took a deep, exaggerated breath, and closed her eyes as she bought the fork to her mouth.

"Mmmm!" Bella mumbled as she ate. "This is really good, Peter. Really, really good."

Peter smiled smugly at her as she ate the rest of the food on her plate enthusiastically. He was definitely improving in the cooking department, she could hardly believe this tasty meal had been prepared by her husband - the man who could barely toast a slice of bread without setting off the smoke detectors.

Later, after they had eaten their no-black-bits eggs and talked about their plans to take Mary to the Zoo on the weekend, Peter headed off to bed. He had an early meeting in the morning, and Bella knew he wasn't at his best without a solid eight hours.

Refreshed and wide awake after her nap on the couch, Bella watched some mindless late-night TV and finished the sweater she was knitting for Mary. Esme had shown her years ago how to knit, but she had never really been interested enough to graduate from plain garter-stitch scarves. Pregnancy-induced insomnia had sparked her interest in knitting again, and she had filled in many lonely hours in the middle of the night making tiny bootees and hats for the baby that grew inside her.

There was something soothing about the rhythm of the needles as they clicked together, and Bella found that a few rows of knitting each night helped her de-stress and unwind. A moment to zone out and forget about bills and errands was the perfect way to end a busy day, and Bella found her craft was more effective at helping her sleep than any pill had ever been.

Some days, motherhood felt like an endless grind of the same chores and mundane tasks, the progress and achievements impossible to measure. Days when, despite her best efforts to keep the house in order and her child fed, happy and stimulated, nothing seemed to go right, wore away at her self-esteem, making her second guess her decision to stay at home instead of returning to work. Those were the days, when she felt nothing but regret or failure, that she most appreciated the tangible rewards of her craft. Holding something in her hands - finished and complete - was a gratifying boost to her confidence, and she cherished the little moments of achievement they offered.

Bella sighed as she realized how late it was and packed away her yarn, stowing her knitting bag on the top shelf of the bookcase, safely out of reach from inquisitive toddler hands.

She slipped through the house, locking doors and switching off lights, leaving a trail of darkness behind her as she made her way to the bathroom.

The reflection that stared back at her from the mirror was no longer young and fresh-faced. Not so long ago, the wrinkles framing her eyes and the softening of the skin around her jaw would have horrified her, prompting her to buy whatever the latest anti-ageing 'miracle' was. Once, the physical signs of aging on her face would have twisted like a knife in her heart.

As Bella appraised her reflection, she thought about how motherhood had changed her. The wrinkles and lines were no longer a source of horror, no longer something to try and hide. In every one of the lines there was a story, a moment, a truth. Her life lay on her face for the world to see - laughter and happiness etched in her skin. There was nothing to fear from aging anymore.

She rubbed the night cream on her face quickly, her previously extensive beauty routines now reduced to a cream or lotion here and there; stolen moments rather than a daily routine.

She switched off the light, tiptoeing across the hall to gently ease open the door to Mary's room.

The sound of Mary's snuffles and slumbered breathing filled the air as Bella crept across the room to peer over the side of the crib. A soft smile broke across her face as she gazed at her daughter. So small and so perfect.

The wonder and awe was just as overwhelming now, two years after her birth, as it had been the day she entered the world. Bella had never really understood how miraculous pregnancy and childbirth were, until she had experienced it for herself. Her dreams of what it would be like to hold her own child in her arms had paled in comparison to the real thing. The yearning to have a baby had been such an integral part of her being for so long, sometimes it was hard to believe that Mary was actually here -_ her daughter._

Bella sighed contentedly as she tucked a stray curl behind Mary's ear. There was no mistaking that Mary was Peter's daughter - they shared the same thick, black hair and the same crystal clear blue eyes; the similarities so striking that strangers felt compelled to comment on their likeness. Peter called Mary his "little mini-me" and doted on her affectionately, proudly boasting of her every achievement and covering his office walls in her paintings and scribble drawings.

Bella, too, loved their little girl with every fibre of her being. Peter had taken her - broken and hurting - and fixed her, gluing the pieces of her heart back together with his love, but it was Mary who had smoothed over the cracks and fissures. As exhausting as she was, this tiny little person had healed her in a way she hadn't thought was possible.

For the first time in a long time, Bella felt whole again.

She leaned over carefully, placing a whisper light kiss on her daughter's cheek.

"Sweet dreams, darling."

Above the crib, a mobile made of scavenged sea-glass caught a beam of light from the hallway, refracting it across the room. Tiny sparkles of light scattered across the room like stars; a private constellation glimmering with dreams of the future.

* * *

**A/N:  
Grateful thanks to Betham for her expert beta'ing and unfailing support. Her kind words and gentle encouragement keep me going. This chapter is dedicated to all the crazy girls of UU. ILY!**

**Two authors you should be reading: Andnowthemoon and Yellowglue.**

**Thanks for reading x**


	16. BITTER

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: BITTER  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxEDWARD  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 39. (Six months after the events in Ch 13)

* * *

Bella could feel her palms becoming slick with fear as she made her way to her car. The sound of her heels, clacking against the concrete, echoed across the near-empty garage. She kept her eyes straight ahead and trained on her goal, trying to ignore the shadows that seemed to swirl and morph on the edges of her periphery. Her stomach began to flutter as with every shaking step her imagination spun more and more out of control, her mind running rampant with thoughts of unspeakable horrors that lurked in wait for her.

Despite her fears, or perhaps because of them, she glanced over her shoulder, gasping as she realized there was, in fact, someone walking behind her. A figure, tall and masculine, walking purposefully in her direction, closing the distance between them with every step. As he got closer, she could hear the clipped echo of his shoes, the sound reverberating in her mind like a bell tolling of danger.

She glanced back at her car, picking up her pace and trying to gauge how far she was from safety. A few short yards was all she had to cover, and she debated whether to make a run for it, wondering if her heels would be up for the task.

"Bella! Wait!"

The familiar voice stopped her in her tracks, and her stomach dropped as she turned slowly towards the sound.

"Edward?" She turned, squinting as the shadowy figure approached her, trying to see through the murky light, and hoping desperately that her ears had deceived her.

But they hadn't. It was Edward. Edward in all his heart-stopping glory; all love and loss, pain and desire wrapped up in one impossibly perfect package.

"What the...? What are you doing here?" Bella demanded, her heart beating against her chest, her body tense and ready for flight.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Well, creeping up on someone in a deserted garage _at night_, Edward....Jesus! You really scared me!" Bella said angrily. She could feel the adrenalin still surging through her veins, but its energy was regrouping, fear and anxiety sliding away to be replaced by indignation and anger.

"I'm sorry," he said softly as he approached her cautiously. He was every bit as devastatingly handsome as her memories had preserved him. Just the sight of him made every nerve ending in her body stand to attention, her mind instantly flicking through memories of moments they had shared together.

"What do you want?" Bella closed her eyes, trying to stop her mind from replaying every sensuous detail of her last encounter with Edward. What the hell was he doing here? Did he not torture her enough the last time he turned up unannounced? Her stomach turned as she thought about everything that had transpired between them, the guilt scratching its way to the surface again.

"I came to apologize. For the way I behaved. For everything we...everything I did. It was despicable, and I'm sorry. I was out of control, Bella."

Bella sighed. She had worked later than usual, rushing to get an urgent report emailed out on a deadline, and was tired after her long day. She really didn't have the energy for this..._thing_...right now.

She'd spent the last six months trying to reconcile Bella the loving wife with Bella the woman who cheats on her new husband with her ex-lover. She'd thrown everything she had into her marriage, hoping every act of love would atone for her indiscretion. Edward belonged in her past, but as long as he kept making these random appearances in her present, she didn't know how she was meant to make her future work.

Whatever he wanted, she didn't have the time or the energy for it right now.

"I was wondering if you would go with me somewhere and talk...for old time's sake."

And there it was, that soft and spine-melting tone, that "I love you so much, I know you can't resist" pull on her heart. In spite of her anger and her resolve to resist, she found herself acquiescing.

"There's a nice bar across the street."

As they walked together in silence, Bella began to build a wall of steel around her heart, an impenetrable defense against Edward's charm. He could talk all he wanted, but there was no way she was going to let him crack open her heart again. This time, she was prepared. This time, she would resist.

With a detached gaze, she examined his appearance, a wave of relief passing over her as she noticed his eyes were golden, calm and collected, like the Edward she had once shared her life with. This time, there was nothing sinister bubbling under the surface, nothing to fear. She felt some of her anxiety melt away as she took in his relaxed demeanor, his soft smile as he noticed her watching him.

When they reached the bar, Bella moved quickly to open the door first, not wanting to remember how Edward's familiar displays of chivalry made her feel. They weren't on a date and she needed to show him things were different now.

"Glass of chardonnay?" he asked, after they sat at an empty booth at the back of the room.

"Lime and soda, please," she said quickly.

Surprise flashed across his face, before he nodded and went to the bar to order her drink.

She watched him interact with the bar staff, his natural grace and handsome features all too much for the poor woman who served him. She was blushing and awkward as Bella watched her prepare her drink. Bella smiled to herself, feeling nothing but sympathy. She remembered what it was like to be dazzled.

As she waited for Edward, she wondered anxiously what on earth she was going to say to him when he got back with her drink. Should she do the polite thing and ask after Esme and Carlisle? It felt strange to think about the family that had once been _her _family. How would it feel to hear him talk about them, as if nothing had changed? Would he tell her that they missed her? Would old and forgotten regrets be dragged to the surface again?

Edward carefully placed her glass in front of her, interrupting her musings.

"Thank you," she said, grateful for the distraction. The soda was ice-cold, tingling as it made its way down her throat. Unbidden, her thoughts returned to Edward, the feel of his cool skin under her hands and the taste of him in her mouth. Her face flushed at the erotic turn her thoughts had taken. She had never been so thankful as she was in that moment, that Edward was unable to read her mind.

Last time, it had been her body that had betrayed her, pulled into the vortex of desire and longing without a chance of escape or resistance. Now, it seemed her mind was letting her down, determined to remind her of everything she had lost.

"You seem happy. He's been good for you." Edward's statement broke her from her internal struggles. She winced as she saw the flash of pain pass over Edward's face as he spoke. She quickly stared down into her glass, chasing the pieces of ice around the sides with her straw.

He had said something similar to her, last time. A sense of deja-vu laced with dread swept over her and she grimaced, finding new resolve amidst the uneasy feeling that was swirling in her gut. It had almost broken her, having him one last time, only for him to leave her; alone, grieving and guilt-ridden.

She was stronger now. He wouldn't have that power this time.

"Edward, have you been watching me?" she asked bluntly.

His silence was answer enough.

"For fuck's sake, Edward." She pulled her hand through her hair impatiently. "You have to let go! Of me, of _us_. This can't be good for you."

"I miss you, Bella," he said softly, as if that was explanation enough.

Her heart sank as she seriously doubted whether she was going to be strong enough to resist him. Another heartfelt declaration might be all it took to pierce the cloudburst of emotions that loomed ominously above her.

"I miss you, too, Edward, but we both know it couldn't have worked. I'm making a new life for myself now. Remember the human, real life you wanted me to have? Well, this is me - living it." Bella spat the words at him, hiding her vulnerability behind the accusations she didn't verbalize.

"I just wanted to make sure you were happy." He looked wounded by her outburst, hurt and shame clouding over his perfect face.

"Well, I am. You can stop watching me now. I know you, and I know your voyeuristic tendencies are probably in overdrive right now, watching me live a life without you. Do you get off on seeing me with another man, is that it? Seriously, Edward. This has to stop!" she said angrily, knowing she was being cruel, but finding it easier to channel the storm of emotions that tumbled inside of her into anger rather than pity.

"It's not like that!" Edward said defensively.

"Well, what is it like, then?

"I still love you, Bella." He laid his hand on hers. The feel of his cold skin sent a shock of pain and regret through her body, memories of happier times flashing through her mind, tinged with loss and longing.

Bella pulled her hand from his abruptly, severing the connection that threatened to open the floodgates of her carefully constructed emotional barricade.

"What did you think you would achieve in coming here? Did you think last time was going to be the start of something more? That we could just pick up where we left off last time? You know, when you fucked me and then fucked off?" she seethed.

Bella could feel the anger rising in her as she remembered how he had hurt her, how crushed she had felt when she realized how she had betrayed Peter, their secret liaison forever a tattoo of shame on her conscience. She welcomed the boil of emotion, red hot and vividly raw on her soul, wanting it to burn away every last trace of confusion and regret.

"I'm sorry. I know it was wrong. I just..."

Bella's anger spilled over and she interrupted him, knowing her voice was too loud but not even caring if there were people looking at them.

"Edward, last time was a mistake. I was stupid and weak. That can never, _ever _happen again. I'm married, and I love Peter. I can't, and won't, be _that _woman again."

_I am strong. I am strong. I am strong._

She clenched her eyes shut, concentrating on the mantra inside her head.

"You have to let me go now," she pleaded, her voice a hoarse whisper.

She grabbed her bag and slid out of the booth.

"Goodbye, Edward," she said, eyes downcast, not trusting herself to look at him.

She walked out of the bar, every step heavy with grief. She had only spent ten minutes with him, and yet it felt like she was breaking up with him all over again.

Whoever had told her that the hurt would lessen over time had been a liar.

She sighed. Tonight had been a painful and torturous test of her resolve, but she knew it had to be this way now.

Everything was different now.

Her hands moved to her stomach, caressing the invisible swell where, over the coming months, a new life would blossom inside her.

* * *

**A/N:  
Anyone else feeling a bit sad for Edward now?**

**Grateful thanks to Betham for beta'ing (including Americanizing help) and words of encouragement. ILY bb.**


	17. OBSESSION

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: OBSESSION  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxEDWARD  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 17.

* * *

Bella groaned in her sleep, limbs fluttering under the purple bedspread that covered her body from his hungry eyes.

He knew he shouldn't be here; that what he was doing was wrong. He was spying on her when she was at her most vulnerable. The thought that he was breaking her trust did not sit well with him, but the sight of her lying there before him, exposed and defenseless, was intoxicating.

He closed his eyes, breathing in the quiet. Even in sleep, the human mind was active, spewing out thoughts into the ether. Only her dreams remained hidden from him. While every other slumbering body in the neighborhood pushed out their thoughts to batter unrelentingly against his consciousness, she was an oasis of calm and relief.

This wasn't the first time he had scaled the side of her house so he could climb in her window and watch her sleep. The thought that it also wouldn't be the last time filled him with an unsettling mix of both guilt and anticipation.

Night after night he had come; sneakily, stealthily, shamefully. Night after night he had vowed that it would be the last time, that he would leave her to sleep in private.

But night after night he couldn't stop himself from returning.

Watching her was like a drug to him. He simply couldn't get enough. She was breathtaking in her beauty; her long mahogany hair sweeping across the pillow, her alabaster skin smooth and flawless like satin, her thick lashes hiding her sparkling eyes -the eyes that saw past everything he hated about himself. In her sleep she was unguarded, the vulnerability that had captured his heart was magnified ten-fold as she lay unconscious and oblivious to his presence. An overwhelming need to protect her bound him to her side; the urge to watch over and keep her from harm like nothing he had ever felt before.

Edward knew that, deep inside of him, something carnal was stirring. Long forgotten urges, crackling with lust and desire, were pushing their way to the surface, his mind beginning to entertain fantasies of the things he wanted to do to her body, how he would make her scream his name and make her tremble and come to pieces underneath him. She was awakening a part of him he thought long dead.

The need to watch her ran deeper than just a physical attraction. As much as he knew there was an erotic edge to his voyeurism, he couldn't bear to consider going back to spending his nights alone.

Being with her, watching her, was a panacea from the torture of living a life where the days had no end and no beginning. Edward had always considered night time to be a curse, a cruel twist of fate that there was no sleep to numb the passing of eternity. Spending the night hours halfheartedly engaged in meaningless activities had been a source of frustrated boredom for so long, it still came as a shock when he found himself looking forward to the dark arriving.

Now the night had purpose. Now he had Bella.

During those moonlit hours he had memorized the cycles of her sleep, learned the different ways she breathed, watched the flickering of her eyelids, wondered what stuff her dreams were made of. Entranced and captivated by her every sound and movement, the nights were no longer something to dread.

Before her, there had been only apathy and boredom. She had helped him remember how to live.

How to love.

Bella twisted in her bed, hand flailing in the air like she was reaching, grasping for something.

"Edward..."

Edward's eyes shot open. Had she really just moaned his name? He pulled his fingers through his hair distractedly. Maybe he had imagined it. He inched closer, unable to stop himself from crossing the distance between them, wishing he could give in to the overwhelming urge to touch her.

He wanted to groan as the sound of his name on her lips hit him again. A rush of emotions too vibrant to name swept over him and he let them crash over him. If his dead, frozen heart could beat again, this is what it would feel like.

He sighed. 

_She was dreaming of him_.

Just then the first ray of light began to dance across her room and he could hear Bella's father awakening, the sound of his feet creaking on the floorboards and his gruff, uncomplicated thoughts drifting in the air.

Edward had come to despise the dawn. The sun had always been his enemy but now he had new cause to hate it. Every morning, without fail, it rose on the horizon, a silent reminder that his time with her was up, its very presence a taunting call to him that he had to leave her. With every passing night he spent with her, it became harder and harder to detach himself, to pull himself away, to leave.

Today he wanted to stay more than he ever had before. His mind told him to linger, in case she murmured his name again, but his body was already moving towards the window. The rational part of his brain told him it would only be a few short hours till he would see her again at school, but even a second away from her was too long.

He sighed, heavy with resignation, and began to pull the window up. He glanced back at her bed, wanting just one more glimpse, one more fix of her.

Instead of her sleeping form he was met with the sight of her wide eyes on him, pleading and wanting.

"Don't go," she whispered.

* * *

Bella could feel the skin on the back of neck prickling as if his gaze was a pull on the very fabric of her being, the surface of herself drawn towards him like the way iron filings can't help but move towards a magnet.

She grinned to herself before slowly tilting her head over her shoulder to shoot him a shy smile.

He smirked at her in response as he tossed an apple from one hand to the other. She knew he wasn't going to eat it, knew the human mannerism was due to a conscious effort on his behalf, all part of his consistently maintained facade. His eyes never left hers as the apple flew in a perfect arc between his hands.

She also knew he would spend the entire lunch period watching her.

Bella turned her back on Edward and faced Angela again. She nodded absentmindedly as Angela chattered excitedly about her latest plans for the school newspaper feature. She barely heard her voice, her thoughts completely consumed by the boy who sat at the table behind her.

Sometimes she still found it totally unbelievable that the most gorgeous boy in school wanted _her_. He was gorgeous, charming, intelligent and she still found herself overwhelmed and dazzled by the perfectness of his being. He was everything...and in comparison she was nothing. Even in her wildest dreams, she had never expected that she would find someone like him in a town like Forks. Some_thing_ like him. She shook her head; as inconceivable as it was, Edward was a vampire. Goodness knows what else was possible in this warped version of reality she found herself free-falling into. She wondered if this was what Alice felt like as she tumbled down the rabbit hole.

She sighed, looking down at the notepad in front of her. Somewhere in her musings, her scribbles had morphed, nonsensical shapes and lines flowing into discernible letters. She gasped as she realized she had scrawled out his name.

Blushing, she quickly flipped the page over, but not before Angela had managed to see her infatuated doodling.

"He's looking at you, you know." Angela said, glancing up at Edward over Bella's shoulder.

"Yeah, I know. Would it sound weird if I told you I can feel it?"

Bella wondered what Edward would think of her declaration as he heard it echoing in Angela's mind.

"No, not weird. I think it's kind of sweet, actually."

"Me, too." Bella smiled. That she could feel the burn of his gaze, that the presence of him affected her on the most basic of physical levels, just reinforced for her that there was something deeper, an unmistakable, irrevocable connection between the two of them. She tried to convince herself that Angela was right - it was sweet and pure.

She swallowed thickly. The fact that Edward watched her with ravenous eyes, like he wanted to devour her, wasn't 'sweet' - it was sexy as hell and Bella loved the way it made her feel, even if she couldn't admit that to her friend.

She tilted her head again, stealing another glimpse of him. He was talking with Alice, smiling indulgently as she bounced in her seat, her hands gesturing wildly. She gazed at his chiseled jawline, the sharp lines of his profile, the softening of his features as he smiled at his sister.

God, he was so gorgeous, it made her heart ache.

He turned, his gaze on her again, as if he could tell she had been looking at him. His eyes looked almost a normal color at this distance, but they glowed with a ferocity she knew was reserved for her, and her alone. The crowded cafeteria around her melted away, the only sound she could hear was her heartbeat thundering in her ears. Her eyes transfixed on him, caught in the intensity of his gaze, helpless to do anything but stare back at him.

She licked her lips involuntarily, her mouth suddenly dry. Edward narrowed his eyes at her, standing suddenly, his chair sliding back against the polished floor. As if in slow motion, she watched as he stalked towards her. With every deliberate step she could feel her heart beating faster, a ball of anticipation churning deep insider her as he approached.

Then, too quickly, he was _right there_, leaning over her, grinning against her ear.

"Let's go," he whispered.

* * *

**A/N:  
Thank you to everyone who is reading, reviewing and alerting this story. I am eternally grateful for your support.**

**Once again, Betham did a fantastic job of beta'ing this for me. Thank you bb.  
**


	18. SLIP

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: SLIP  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLA (ALICE)  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 45.

* * *

From: Isabella Swan-Browne  
To: Alice Cullen  
Subject: THANK YOU!!  
2Attachments: 1stdayofschool . jpg ; Mary1 . jpg

* * *

Alice! Thank you, thank you, thank you for the gorgeous gifts you sent Mary for her birthday. Wow, you certainly spoiled her. She absolutely loves the clothes and has been wearing the pink dress every day. I have to sneakily wash it at night while she sleeps - heaven forbid she has to wear her other (not designer!!) clothes. Apparently my little girl takes after her namesake and has quite the eye for fashion. Her father and I despair about what this will mean for her teenage years! She even gives me advice on what shoes to put with an outfit - you would be very proud.

And the bracelet. God, Alice! I don't even want to guess how much it cost. It's stunning. Thank you. Mary is a lucky little girl.

I attached some photos. I thought, maybe, if you can see that it would be OK, you could show Esme. I don't want to upset anyone. There is one of Mary's first day of school and one taken on the day of her birthday. It's a nice one - shows off her blue eyes (and her lovely new pink dress!).

It is amazing to watch her grow up, it seems to be happening so fast. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that she was a tiny baby. I'd heard mothers say how time speeds up once you have children, and I certainly know what they mean now. I wish I could slow everything down, so I could savor each delightful moment with her. She's so vibrant and outgoing, she charms everyone she meets. She's alot like her father in that regard.

As much as I wish things could have been different, I want you to know that I am happy. Mary means the world to me, and having her in my life has eased the pain. And Peter - you would have liked him, Alice. He's warm and caring and patient and the best father I could ever have wanted for my child. It makes me sad to think the two of you will never meet. I think he would have liked you, too.

I know it is wrong, on so many levels, to ask you this....but...how is Edward? I know I don't have the right anymore, to ask or to expect an answer, but I do worry for him. The last time he came to see me my behavior was appalling. I was scared and hurting and took it out on him. He didn't deserve my anger, and I can only hope he has forgiven me and found a way to move on. I still hope that he can one day find the kind of happiness he deserves, with someone who can be everything he needs.

A day doesn't go by that I don't think about him, but as the years slip by it gets easier to live without him.

Having a child has really reinforced for me just how fragile this life I live truly is. Once, it would have made me incredibly bitter to think about the years I have ahead, but I've come to accept it now. It still hurts, but time will race by, and I have resigned myself to a future that includes old age.

I know that Edward asked you not to look and I fully understand why. I don't want to put you in an awkward situation between the two of us or compromise your relationship with him, but I have a favor to ask you. Please watch over Mary for me. I won't be here forever and there is a whole part of her life I will never see. Please keep her safe. I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to her that could have been prevented. I love her too much. Please Alice. I know this is an awfully morbid thing to be writing in an email, but it has been preying on my mind since she was born. I could rest easy knowing you were going to be there for her.

I miss you, Alice. I wish things weren't what they are and that you could have shared in this joy with me.

I love you,

Bella xx

* * *

Bella hit 'send' and shut her laptop quietly.

Alice had been her best friend and the loss of their close relationship had been just another cross to bear. She had walked out on Edward, and in doing so had lost a sister, too. It felt strange to be celebrating milestones without Alice there to coordinate the perfect party. Happy moments she hadn't been able to share with her. Pain and hurt that she had to bear alone, without Alice's shoulder to cry on.

They used to talk every day. Now, their contact was reduced to sporadic emails. The new version of their friendship was a weak and dull imitation of what it had once been. The expensive gifts that never failed to arrive for Mary's birthdays were a bittersweet reminder of the loving 'aunt' Mary would never know.

Bella sighed. She knew she was being selfish to ask Alice to go against Edward's wishes, but she knew that Alice was probably finding a way to keep tabs on her without Edward knowing. She smiled to herself. Yes, she was quite sure Alice had ways and means of keeping her thoughts private.

She quickly shed her clothes and slipped into bed, finding comfort in the warmth of Peter's body lying next to her. He groaned in his sleep, turning automatically towards her as she snuggled into his side. His arm wrapped over her, pulling her closer, and she took a deep breath of him, safe and sheltered in his embrace.

She closed her eyes, willing sleep to come to her easily. It would do no good to wallow in self-pity, or dwell on the losses of the past. Ahead of her was the future. A future with an adoring husband and a daughter she loved more than life itself.

Bella smiled as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N:  
Betham is my beautiful beta. Thanks babe!  
**

**Some Twi25 recs for you: **

**Ahizelm's grunge/rock lyric inspired masterpiece. Mostly drabbles – all brilliant. .net/s/5666826/1/Fifty_Cents_II_The_Twilight_25_Winter_2010**

**Subtle Pen's drabbles that include the best ever use of the prompt bitter and an amazing piece for awe. .net/s/5644254/1/The_Twilight_25_Round_2_Missing_Moments**

**Feisty Y Beden's multichapter fic Goodnight Noises, Everywhere. Post-apocalyptic good times. ****  
****.****net/s/5650508/1/Goodnight_Noises_Everywhere**

**And BecauseSheCan's Cruel Twisted Fate. I don't even know how to describe this one. Just very intriguing**

**.net/s/5709542/1/Cruel_Twisted_Fate**


	19. LANGUID

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: LANGUID  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 59.

* * *

Empty.

Bella finally settled on a word that seemed to sum her life up: _empty_. Not an aching or painful emptiness. Just a kind of listless quiet.

She pulled the blanket up around her shoulders, and eased herself deeper into the armchair she had dragged out on the balcony. The sky was darkening with every passing minute, and she smiled as she heard the sound of the night awakening in the trees around her home.

Maybe she would stay out here and sleep under the stars, she thought to herself. Her aging body would probably not be pleased with that decision come morning, but there was no real reason why she couldn't.

After all, there was no sleeping child to check on. No need to have her 'mother's hearing' on all night in case she was needed. Mary had left home the previous year, and her absence had ultimately lead to the departure of her father, too.

There was no husband to call her inside either.

Bella had always been terrified by the thought of living alone. There had only been one brief moment in her life when she had been truly alone. It had been such a dark and bleak existence that, for the longest time, it had tainted her view on the difference between being lonely and being alone.

Now, she was alone for the foreseeable future. This time, it came with a subtle, calm resignation instead of drowning panic. There was an odd comfort in being able to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.

Even just the simple act of eating dinner - it no longer needed to be an orchestrated event that intersected three busy schedules and took into account the likes, dislikes and dietary requirements of three different people. When you were making dinner for one, you could make anything you wanted. Or not even bother making dinner at all.

Of course, Bella knew there were also times when she was lonely. When Mary had left home, Bella had ached for the loss of her constant companionship, for the cherished mother and daughter moments, the frank conversations, even the teenage mood swings. She had missed her girl with every bone in her body. But even that pain had eventually faded to a muted acceptance. Life moved on; children grew up.

Life was what it was.

And now, life was learning how to be on her own. Life was filling a house with the activity of one. Life was coming home to silence.

Bella found herself unable to feel bitter about the turn her life had taken. There were a million different twists and turns her life could have gone down, but perhaps this is where fate would always have found her at that very moment; alone on her balcony, breathing in the cold night air.

Peter would definitely have urged her to come inside by now. She smiled to herself. She could almost hear his deep voice telling her she would catch a cold, taste his kiss as he tried to convince her with his touch instead of reason and logic.

He had left her not long after Mary had gone to college. They both knew it was coming, that it was inevitable that one of them would end up turning their back on twenty years of togetherness. Twenty years of love and comfort, warmth and patience. As much as they both denied it, parenthood had been the ultimate thread that had bound them together, knitting them to each other, each stitch knotted with responsibility and pride. Mary had blossomed into a sparkling, confident young woman, and Bella and Peter had found their dreams fulfilled. She was everything they had hoped she would be - vibrant, outgoing, empathetic - they had done their job well.

When Mary left home, it had only been a matter of time before their marriage disintegrated. Bella had wrapped herself in apathy; not wanting to be the one to leave, again. Eventually, Peter had left and Bella hadn't stopped him.

Bella sighed. As sad as it was, she also realized how lucky she was that her and Peter's split had been relatively amicable and drama-free. They still talked every other day. They were still best friends. They just no longer shared each other's lives.

Their love had burned bright in the beginning, glowing hot with love and comfort. Peter had shown up in her life like a fiery brazier, a welcoming light to lead her from the darkness of despair. His love for her was fierce, and he had breathed life into her frozen heart again. She had loved him deeply, too. But, ever so slowly and softly, the fire had burned itself out, till there was nothing left but glowing embers. Eventually, even those were gone.

Love was what it was.

The night finally dropped its black curtain into place, and Bella shivered as goose-bumps broke out over her skin.

The prickly sensation always made her think of Edward.

Edward hadn't been a safe, warm fire. Edward had been a comet, blazing across her universe, scorching everything in his wake. Theirs had been a once-in-a-lifetime love that had seared itself onto her soul forever, his loss a burn on her heart that had never healed.

She hadn't seen him in ten long years, and still the thought of him made the dull ache flare again.

Thoughts of him were still as painful as ever, but now they were no longer shrouded in guilt and betrayal. She was free to think of whomever she wanted, whenever she wanted. For so long, she had denied herself the right to think of her past, to savor memories of happier times, that there was almost a sense of relief whenever she allowed herself a glimpse back into the past.

The slip of the girl she saw in her memories, all wide-eyed innocence and touching naivety, was so far removed from who she was now, it was almost like it was a different person. There had been times in her life she had wanted, desperately, to be that girl again. To believe in a one true love that could overcome any obstacle, to believe in happily-ever-afters, to love with reckless abandon.

But with age comes wisdom, and Bella knew that there was no point in raging against time or holding onto regrets. It was with a detached kind of wistfulness that she flicked through her mental catalogue of past moments now. She couldn't go back in time, she couldn't erase what had been said and done, and even if by some miracle she could have...what then? Could a love that magnificent, that all encompassing, ever really be ignored or denied? Could she have stopped herself falling in love? Could she have found the strength to walk away when he refused to change her?

Deep down, Bella knew the answer to all those questions was no. There was nothing to be gained from wishing she could do it all over again.

Bella sighed. Life was what it was, and tonight that would be sleeping out under the stars.

* * *

A/N:  
Thank you Betham. As always, I am grateful for your red pen skills, your encouragement and unfailing support.

This was probably the chapter I struggled with the most and as a result its the most subtle use of a prompt yet, and one of my shortest chapters. Still, I think it says everything it needed to and I hope it came across OK.

I have the best reviewers. Thank you all. Your comments and encouragement keep me going.


	20. PRELUDE

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: PRELUDE  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLA  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 85. (Mary is 45. Eva is 10.)

* * *

Bella smiled as she watched her grand-daughter playing the piano. Eva reminded her so much of Mary at the same age, it was almost like looking back through time at her own child. The black mop of curls, the deep blue eyes, the heart-wrenchingly sweet innocence; the similarities were quite remarkable.

Days passed so slowly now; a monotonous and unremarkable blur of time that she spent alone with her own thoughts. Her fingers were too bent and sore to knit anymore, and her eyes too weak to read. The days were long and quiet. Only the weekends held any appeal; when Mary and Daniel would bring Eva to visit.

Being a beloved Gran was almost as rewarding as being a mother, and Bella loved the special moments that she and Eva spent together. Those too-short hours every weekend were the highlight of her weeks now, and she looked forward to their visits with an almost child-like enthusiasm.

When she was surrounded by her family, Bella didn't feel alone or lonely. She just felt loved, and _happy_. Every smile, every conversation, every piano recital was cherished. These were the moments that made it all worthwhile.

She closed her eyes as the delicate music danced through the air. It wrapped her in a warm embrace and softly caressed her cheek. Each tender note carried a whisper of times gone by. Each graceful chord a long forgotten memory.

She was no longer cozied up in an armchair, in the dayroom of the retirement complex she had called home for the past year. She was standing on a balcony in Paris, cool arms wrapped around her in a loving embrace. She was no longer wrinkled and aged, she was young and beautiful; in love.

"Once more, sweetheart?" Bella called out across the room as her memories evaporated with the fading of the music. The melody was laced with a yearning that echoed the song of her own heart. She couldn't bear to only hear it once.

Mary smiled indulgently at her mother, and then nodded to her daughter. "One more time, honey? Then you can go to the mall with Daddy, okay?"

Bella closed her eyes once more, the music sweeping her up and instantly transporting her back in time, back to the arms of her long-lost lover. Back to a happier time, when everything had been so much simpler. Back to a time when she been madly in love; and that was all that had mattered.

Bella hoped her daughter wouldn't notice the moisture in her eyes, and she rubbed at them with gnarled fists as Daniel and Eva said their good-byes.

"Mom?" Mary asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, dear. Just a touch of melancholy in my old age, is all." Bella tried to smile, but it came out feeling more like a grimace.

"Do you want to look through photos again, today? We don't have to, if you don't want to. I could take you out in the wheelchair if you want some fresh air. Maybe a cup of tea?" Mary asked, desperate to find something that would take her mother's mind off whatever it was that had made her upset.

Bella shook her head. The secret she had kept from her daughter was bubbling up inside, threatening to escape.

"The piano. It reminded me of my first love. When we met." The secret that had lain dormant for so many years was finally out.

"Are you going tell me the story of how you two met in the grocery store, again?" Mary teased.

"No, not Peter. His name was Edward."

"_Edward_? " Mary said confused. "But, I thought..."

"Oh, don't look so shocked." Bella replied curtly. "I never told you about him before, but yes - there was a man before your father."

Mary gasped, the sound heavy with shock and confusion. She turned away quickly, but not before Bella caught the flash of betrayal on her face, and took a couple of tentative steps towards the window.

"Mary?" Bella called to her, regretting her harsh words. "Don't be upset...please?"

Mary hesitated, but after the slightest of pauses, she turned back to her mother, unspoken questions in her eyes.

Bella gestured towards the armchair next to hers, and Mary flopped into it with resignation. She raised her eyebrows, and looked at her mother expectantly.

"Did you really think I didn't love before I met your father?"

"You just never mentioned anyone...I just assumed...I don't know..." Mary said. This hadn't been the type of conversation she had expected to have with her mother today. Normally, they looked through photo albums and reminisced about her childhood. With a flash of guilt, she realized she had never really taken the time to ask about her younger years.

Bella smiled. Edward belonged to another lifetime. Some of the memories had faded, some had been lost altogether, swallowed by the ravages of age. Others, despite the many years that had passed, were as crystal clear as if they had happened only yesterday.

"He was the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen, and the instant I laid eyes on him, I fell in love." Bella sighed. The girl she had been then had given up her heart so willingly, so freely. So young, so naive; so certain.

"I met him when I was seventeen. We had many, many happy years together. We were young and passionate, and thought we had forever. A once-in-a-lifetime love. That's what it was."

"So, why have you never mentioned him before?" Mary said accusingly.

Bella _had _wanted to share this part of her life with Mary, had wanted so badly to tell her tales of young love and all the sights she had seen on Edward's arm. Several times, she had come close to spilling the stories of her youth, but the timing never seemed right. Something would always happen to make her rethink, to lock the secret up for another day, another week, another year. The reality was, there was never going to be a perfect time to tell Mary that her father hadn't, in fact, been the love of her life. Yes, she had adored and loved him, but it hadn't been the same kind of all-consuming love that she had shared with Edward. It wasn't Peter that plagued her dreams, and whose memories haunted the emptiness of her days.

Bella had always known that there was a distinct possibility that Mary would be upset to hear her revelations, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her. The truth was, memories of Edward still made her heart ache, too. Perhaps that was the part of the reason it had taken her so long to ease her conscience, and tell her daughter about the man who had swept her off her feet.

"Not all love stories have a happy ending," Bella said softly.

"What happened?" Mary asked.

"Circumstances beyond our control forced us apart. Fate was cruel, and we both had to live with the consequences of the choices we made."

The reality was, of course, much more involved than that, but there was no way Bella could bring herself to speak of vampires and the inherent swathe of complications that had ultimately become her death sentence. Sometimes, it all seemed so fantastical she wondered if her aging brain had, in fact, recalled things correctly.

"Oh," Mary said sadly.

"Don't be sad. I spent far too much of my life being angry and bitter at the way things turned out. It took a long time for me to simply accept my life was what it was. Being with him was one of the happiest times of my life, and yet, if it hadn't ended, I would have missed out on being a mother. I never would have gotten to experience the joy of having you, and watching you grow into the amazing woman you are." Bella hoped that Mary would recognize the sincerity in her words, and know how much she was loved.

"But.."

"No buts. It is sad that it didn't work out for us, and there is a piece of me that will always love him, but there is no point in wishing for what could never have been. And besides, we're meant to lose the people we love. How else are we supposed to know how important they are?" Bella reached over and touched Mary's hand.

Tears slipped from her daughter's eyes.

"Don't say that. It sounds...so final."

"Well, its true. It wasn't until he was gone that I realized how much I loved him - how much a part of me he was." Bella wondered what she would have done differently, if she had known back then that things would have to end. Would she have made more of an effort to remember every moment? Would she have told him that she loved him more often?

"I can't believe you kept this from me. It's such a sad story. I feel so bad you've carried it around on your own for so long," Mary said softly.

"I guess I didn't want to taint your view on love. I wanted you to find the someone special of your own, to fall in love and give your whole heart. I didn't want you holding yourself back, just because my love story turned out to be a tragedy."

"Is he still...alive?" Mary asked hesitantly, knowing that her father's death a few years previously, had been difficult for Bella.

She turned the name Edward over in her mind, trying it on for size. _Edward and Bella_. She smiled. Despite the almost-guilt she felt for thinking it, she liked the sound of their names together. Listening to her mother speak of this other man had, at first, been painful, like a betrayal to the husband and father that they had both loved, but she couldn't help but be deeply fascinated by this part of her mother's life. There was a light in Bella's eye that Mary had not seen for a very long time.

"Yes." Bella cringed at the irony of Mary's question. "As far as I know. Yes."

"Do you want to see him again?" Mary whispered.

Bella snorted. She had tossed that very question around in her head so many times it had been impossible to keep count. Her mind told her no, but her heart screamed yes.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," Bella said reluctantly. "I said my good-byes a long time ago." The anger that she had thrown at Edward the last time she had seen him still made her stomach turn. That was the one regret she had been unable to let go of.

"Tell me more about him?" Mary asked, her curiosity unable to remain silent.

It was Bella's turn to smile indulgently. "What would you like to know?"

* * *

A/N: The prompt for this one is _Prelude_. The piece that Eva plays for her grandmother is Chopin's Prelude No 7 in A Major (Op28). The youtube clip that I used for inspiration was this one /watch?v=Q1L71Q7odFY. It's a very short, very simple piece (that you will probably recognize) but I thought it captured the essence of this chapter. It's sad without being tragic - more a sweet, wistful yearning. I hope my writing reflects that also.

I also stole a quote from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (movie) which was one of the original inspirations for this story.

My updates have slowed down. Partly because I got sidetracked by a one-shot for the Black Balloon contest (if you think a slashy little hot mess might be your thing then go check my profile) and partly because I want to take my time with the remaining chapters. I'm not going to make the end of March Twi25 deadline and I'm fine with that because the last thing I want to do is rush it. 5 chapters more to go!!

Grateful thanks once again to Betham for the beta magic.


	21. LITHE

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: LITHE  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxPETER  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 49. (Mary is 9).

* * *

Bella smiled softly as she watched her daughter. Mary was utterly entranced by the performance, and had barely taken her eyes off the stage since the orchestra had started filling the theater with their captivating music.

The symphony had been sold out for weeks, but at the last minute, Peter had managed to get tickets from a contact at his work. Seeing the look of pure joy on her daughter's spell-bound face was worth every cent they had paid to see the exorbitantly priced, opening night performance.

They both knew their daughter had a gift for music. Even as a toddler, they would find her beating out a rhythm with a spoon on the back of a saucepan, or playing alone, singing a made-up lullaby to her dolls. Piano lessons had been booked as soon as she was big enough to sit on a piano stool. Peter often joked that music was Mary's second language.

Bella sighed to herself and turned back to the stage. She found it amazing that a group of people could all play individual instruments and yet, make such a cohesive and collective sound together. All the parts working in harmony to create such beauty. It was no wonder Mary had been so thrilled when they had given her the tickets as an early birthday present. She closed her eyes, and listened to the wordless story that was being created in front of her.

All too soon, they were on their feet showing their appreciation with their hands. Mary looked both devastated the evening was over, and overwhelmed at having heard the world renown musicians play live in a theater. Bella touched her shoulder, gently.

"Time to go, sweetheart. If they ever come here again, I promise we'll take you."

Mary sighed, but let her mother lead them out of their seats and into the packed foyer.

As they joined the throng of people, a glance of tousled bronze hair caught Bella's attention. She gasped. Surely it couldn't be. But another flash of an all too familiar profile confirmed her suspicion.

Edward was right there, in front of her.

For a split-second, she considered pretending that she hadn't seen him, slowly making his way through the crowd to the door of the theater. For just an instant, she was content to let him go, to keep the two incompatible parts of her life - the past and the present - separate and distinct. She knew it was unlikely he would know she was so close behind him; in a crowd of humans this tightly packed, she knew he wouldn't be breathing, knew he would only be concentrating on shutting out the barrage of thoughts that would be bombarding him.

She could simply pretend she hadn't seen him.

When was the last time she had seen him, she wondered to herself. Had it really been ten years? Bella could hardly believe it had been that long, but time seemed to fly now she was a mother. Days, weeks, months and years just sped by. She had certainly never expected to happen upon him randomly like this.

She was pushing through the crowd before she realized what she was doing.

"Edward," she called to him.

He froze, and turned agonizingly slowly toward her. The look of shock on his usually impassive features answered the question that had prickled at the back of her mind, since the moment she had realized it was him.

_He hadn't known she was here._

The crowd parted around them as they stood silently taking stock of each other. She smiled softly at him.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I swear, I didn't know you were here," he said anxiously.

"It's okay. Really," she said quickly as she shifted her weight nervously from one foot to another.

"How are you?" Of course, Edward came from another time, even in situations as awkward and unexpected as this, he would not forget his manners.

"I'm good. You?"

"I'm well, thank you." He did look well. Bella couldn't stop herself gazing at him. So handsome with his chiseled features, all sharp angles of jaw and cheekbones. He had always been the type of beautiful that made people take another glance, and that certainly hadn't changed. Bella could see the crowd slowly filing past them, every person stealing another look at perfection as they passed. So lean and lithe, his body was as untouched by time as his face.

"You look…so _young_!" The words rushed out, and Bella blushed as she heard how ridiculous she sounded. Her age, his age, and the gap between them had been at the heart of why their relationship had faltered, and why she had ultimately left him. It was thoughtless to throw it back in his face, now.

"Only the outside," Edward smiled at her wryly.

Peter touched her arm lightly, and she felt a flash of guilt as she realized she had all but forgotten her family in her haste to catch up to Edward.

"Isabella?" Peter asked, his tone asking a million unspoken questions.

Bella forced herself to smile as her two worlds collided.

"Edward, this is my husband, Peter." Bella said quietly, thankful that the pain she had been anticipating to see on Edward's face never came.

"Edward is…" Bella faltered, not knowing what to say. There were so many things that Edward was, but none of them could be shared. Not with Peter. "Edward is a friend of the family." She finally settled on a not-quite lie, hoping Edward would forgive her truth-bending.

"Nice to meet you, Edward." Peter said warmly as he shook Edward's hand.

"Likewise." Edward said curtly, before quickly withdrawing his hand. Bella could only guess what kind of questions were racing through her husband's mind as he shook hands with this young "friend" he had never heard his wife speak of before.

"And this is Mary. My daughter." Bella said as she pulled her daughter to stand beside her.

Edward stared at the little girl in front of him, glancing between her and Bella with wide, shocked eyes. Bella winced as she watched the storm of emotions flash over his face; the regret and sorrow she had expected, and then a softening of his features, a slight smile gracing his lips. As much as it had hurt him when she had left, he had only ever wanted her to be happy. Bella hoped he would know that all her dreams and hopes had come true.

Edward crouched down to Mary's height.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mary," he said softly. "Did you enjoy the show?"

"Oh yes. I'm going to play in an orchestra one day! I play the piano and the violin," she replied with her usual enthusiasm.

Edward chuckled. "Well, I hope one day I will get to hear you play, Mary."

Bella felt her heart clench as she watched the ghost of her past interact so naturally with her own flesh and blood. Edward would have been an attentive and loving father, if only...the thought was too painful, too close to home, too hard, and she shut it away quickly before turning to her husband.

"Why don't you go ahead and take Mary to the car? I'll be there in a minute."

"Sure." Peter said as he reached out his hand for Mary to take. "We'll see you in a minute?" Bella nodded, but she didn't miss the lingering gaze he shot at Edward. She couldn't read minds, but she knew there would be questions for her to answer later.

As her family walked through the theater doors, Bella realized that the foyer was now pretty much deserted. She hadn't even noticed the crowd dispersing as they talked.

"She's beautiful. Does Alice..?" Edward asked hesitantly.

"Yes, she does." Bella felt oddly guilty. She had often wondered if Alice had slipped up and accidentally shown Edward a glimpse of the little girl that had been named after her. Alice had assured her that she could keep things from him if she tried, but there had always been a part of her that had wondered how long she would be able to keep it up.

"Oh." Edward said with surprise, running his hand through his hair. "I should probably give her more credit, then," he joked, flashing her an apologetic grin.

She grinned back at him. It was a relief to see Edward smiling. The few occasions she had seen him since their relationship ended had been so strained and difficult. She had found a new kind of happiness without him, and all she had hoped for him was that he would one day find the same, that one day he would smile again.

An awkward silence stretched between them. Bella searched her mind for something, anything, to say, but everything seemed trite, or forced. Nervously, she began to fidget with the hem of her blouse as Edward remained silent.

The vision of Edward interacting with Mary replayed over and over in her mind. The realization crashed over her that 17-year-old Edward was closer in age to Mary than he was to her, and she felt her knees go weak.

She had spent so long agonizing over her decision to leave, so long wondering if she had, in fact, done the right thing. Tonight, for the first time since she had left him, she no longer questioned herself. Tonight, she had seen first-hand the impossible nature of the future she would have had at his side. It took Bella another moment to finally recognize that the strange sensation washing over her was relief.

"I should probably go," Bella said as she stared at the floor. Suddenly, the carpet seemed infinitely more interesting than whatever emotion she might see in Edward's face.

"Okay." She could hear the reluctance in his voice, and she raised her eyes to him again.

"It was good to see you, Bella." He reached his hand out to her, but stopped before he touched her. The hesitation in the gesture made her heart ache, and she took his cold hand in hers and squeezed it briefly.

"You, too," she replied as she dropped his hand and pulled her handbag up on her shoulder. She tried to pretend she didn't see the pain in his eyes as she walked away from him, again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she walked out into the night.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Once again, I played around with a couple of lines of dialogue from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (movie) which was one of the inspirations for this story.**

**Thanks to Vanpirenz and Betham for betaing and sticking with me.**

**Thanks for reading x**


	22. MOROSE

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: MOROSE  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: EDWARD  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

* * *

Edward snarled, coal black eyes glinting with rage. The monster no longer lurked deep inside him; it gnashed its teeth as it clawed its way to the surface.

"Leave me alone." His voice was hoarse and scratchy, barely recognizable as the voice of their loved one.

_Please, Edward. We love you. We only want to help_.

His mother's silent pleas only fueled his anger further, and he stalked past her through the door, careful not to touch her outstretched hand.

He didn't want their love, or their pity. The only thing he wanted was silence, a reprieve from the worried glances, and the anxious thoughts they tried unsuccessfully to keep from him; from the failed attempts to alter his mood with Jasper's gift, and Alice and her all-seeing eyes.

He didn't deserve, or want any of it.

The only thing he wanted was _her._

When he reached the trees, he ran. Fast and angry, a blur of self-hatred and emptiness. He ran until the moon rose in the sky and cast its silver hue over the shadowed forest. Only then did he stop.

He could feel the thirst burning through his long-redundant veins. It scorched its way through his body, setting his throat on fire and filling his mind with thoughts of fingernails clawing at his skin. The fiery pain was a welcome distraction from the ache in his chest. He let it consume him, hoping it would obliterate the memories which haunted him, every second of his empty, never-ending existence.

How long since he had hunted? He didn't know. Carlisle and Esme had begged him to join them, had even brought home live animals in the hope that the smell of the blood would release him from his near catatonic apathy.

He didn't want to feed. The burn in his throat was his punishment. He deserved this pain. It was a reminder that he was a monster, an abomination in the eyes of God, an unnatural creature that was undeserving of love.

She was love, and she was gone.

An agonizing scream burst from his throat, and he fell to his knees on the forest floor as nightbirds took flight around him. Startled animals fled into the darkness, but he couldn't even bring himself to raise his head.

A failure. That was what he was.

He had never failed at _anything _before. Everything came easily to him; his vampire brain and body effortlessly overcame any challenge.

And yet, he had failed her.

She needed things he couldn't provide, needed more than the luxuries and love he had showered her with. She needed the only thing his superior strength and aptitude couldn't provide.

She needed a human to live her life with.

* * *

Alaska was bleak and cold. The irony that his new home was little more than vast emptiness and chilly isolation was not lost on him.

He slipped effortlessly through the thigh-deep snow, following the scent of the foraging wolf that he was tracking.

Tanya's thoughts drifted on the ice-cold air like snowflakes. He smiled. She had the wolf in her sights, and was calling to him to join her for the kill.

In an instant he was by her side. Together, in companionable silence, they watched the wolf devour the small snowshoe hare, the smell of its blood spilling on the pristine snow making the venom pool in their mouths.

She glanced at him, asking him in her mind if he wanted her to strike.

He nodded and watched as Tanya pounced, all graceful and deadly stealth. The snap of the wolf's neck was the only sound on the snow-covered tundra.

Grateful that once again, she had been the bringer of death, he joined her and knelt by the animal's still warm corpse. Tanya was already drinking, and she shot him a bloodstained grin as he bent his head. His lungs filled with the smell of the animal's earthy blood as he watched the droplets of thick crimson run down her chin and splash onto matted fur.

"Thank you," he murmured, before sinking his teeth into the limp neck of their prey.

She didn't respond, and let him drink his fill.

"One more?" she asked, knowing that one wolf was not enough of a meal for two vampires.

He nodded as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Tanya's patience never ceased to amaze him. She had been hunting for him for months. The only thing keeping him from drowning in the depths of despair, was her willingness to provide him with the sustenance he alone was unable to execute.

Originally, he had come here hoping to escape the suffocating concern of his family. He had never bought _her _here, this was a place that held no memories of their time together. With its wide open spaces and silent, frozen wilderness, it seemed the perfect place to wallow in his melancholy.

What he hadn't expected to find here was distraction. He had never expected that Tanya would provide him with more than just a roof over his head.

He knew he was being selfish, knew it was despicable and loathsome to take her embraces and her patience, and give nothing in return. She said she knew they could never be anything more. She said she could see that he couldn't love her like that, and that she understood he was still broken and hurting. She said she just wanted to give him what she could; let him fuck away the pain, give him a moment's reprieve from the memories and the darkness that haunted him.

He greedily took what she had to offer, seeking refuge in her strong, unbreakable body. She met his urgent kisses with lips that were the same temperature as his own, let him bite her neck as his pained ecstasy ripped through him, and when he cried out the name that wasn't hers, she didn't say a word. She just held him close, and hoped that one day he would be whole again.

Edward quickly buried the wolf's broken body, piling up the snow in a makeshift cairn.

He held out his hand to Tanya, and she took it with a smile.

"Let's hunt."

* * *

He felt like a pervert. A sick scopophiliac. A common peeping Tom.

The compulsion to watch her was overwhelming.

He knew that his actions reeked of desperation and madness, but he couldn't bring himself to accept the help his family so willingly offered.

He didn't want to stop. Not yet.

Naively, he had thought that if he could just assure himself she was happy in her new life, he would be able to move on. How stupid he had been. Watching her from a distance, living the human life he had once convinced her she should choose, was torture; but yet, he clung to the little glimpses of her. If stolen moments were all he could have, then he would clutch them close to his chest and never give them up.

Hidden, silent and resentful , he watched her go about her daily rituals; breathing, laughing, loving. Without him.

From a distance, he watched the love of his life pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and mend it back together in the arms of another man. A man of flesh and blood and beating heart; just like her. A man with warm, safe arms that would never accidentally hurt her.

A human man for her human life.

Edward loathed him; this _Peter, _this could never be good enough substitute. He wanted to smash in his handsome face that she so willingly kissed, scrape the scent of her off his skin, break every bone in his arms that held her tight. He wanted to, in every violent and heinous way imaginable, erase every last trace of this man that shared her bed, her body. But, despite the jealousy and the blood-red rage, he also found himself feeling a strange kind of gratitude towards the man who had loved her back to life, and restored the smile to her face. He hated him, and yet he was thankful she had found someone. It didn't make sense even in his own mind, but that was how everything was.

Nothing made sense anymore.

Edward had never paid attention to the passing of time. Carlisle, with one foot in the human world, had always been the family time-keeper. It was Carlisle that moved the family when suspicions were raised, when ages on paper no longer matched the youth of their vampire bodies. There had never been a reason for him to keep measure of the infinitesimal increments of an eternal life.

Only now, Edward was obsessed with time. Too late, he finally understood her despair and preoccupation with aging.

She had become his time-piece. Every second of every day, she drew another breath, drew another step closer to the end of her life. In her, he watched the agonizing passing of time, the inevitable march toward a finite end. He watched her age, and with every subtle line in her skin, every weakening of her bones, every movement that was no longer fluid and unhindered, he felt the panic and pain of forever boil and rumble in the pit of his stomach.

She was running out of time. And so was he.

* * *

**A/N:**

**The time line for this chapter is deliberately ambiguous. You can decide for yourself in what order, and when in time these snapshots occurred.**

**Grateful thanks to my wonderful betas, Betham and Vanpirenz. They make everything pretty and are the best cheerleaders a girl could ask for. Also shout-out to Becauseshecan for prereading and for agreeing to hold my hand through these last few chapters.**

**Reviews make Edward smile again. x**


	23. HONEST

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: HONEST  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxEDWARD  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 65.

* * *

A knock at the door was the last thing Bella expected to hear. She carefully put her glass of wine down on the coffee table, and grabbed her purse, assuming that there were girl scouts in her neighborhood.

She groaned, the pain in her joints flaring again as she slowly pulled herself to her feet. Normally, a glass of wine in the evenings would take the edge off, but she was beginning to realize that she might have to see someone about the dull ache in her bones, after all.

She sighed as she opened the door. She didn't really want, or need, their cookies, but handing over her small change would get them moving on to the next house more quickly.

But it wasn't a girl scout who stood on her doorstep.

"Edward?"

"Hello, Bella."

A stunned silence crackled between them as Bella took in the sight before her.

Edward.

Edward. Still as youthful and perfect as he had always been. Liquid honey eyes and thick, tousled hair. Young and untouched by time; seventeen forever. Had she really been as young as that, once upon a time?

In his hand was a single long-stemmed pink rose and he held it out to her like a peace offering. An apologetic smile graced his handsome face.

She took the rose from him, and held the door open so he could come into her house, feeling the coolness of his body pass by her in a rush of nostalgia and long-buried memories. She closed the door slowly, resting her head against the panelled wood, hoping that she could draw some of its strength into herself. God only knew she would need it.

Edward remained silent, but followed her into the living room. She didn't acknowledge the fact that she could see him studying the photos on the wall. She wondered what he was thinking as he took stock of her human life; 6x4 maxi-color snapshots of a life that didn't include him.

She gestured to him to take a seat on the couch, deliberately putting some distance between them as she lowered herself slowly into her armchair. She swallowed back a grimace as the pain in her wearied bones made its presence known.

"Why are you here?" Bella asked as she twirled the rose between her fingers. It was perfectly formed, its sweet fragrance filling her mind with thoughts of another time.

"Er, I'm here...because...well," Edward seemed taken aback by her bluntness and he paused, raking his fingers through his bronzed hair distractedly.

The rose forgotten, Bella snapped her head up to Edward. She had never, once, in all their years together, heard him falter or stammer over words.

As if sensing her unease, Edward continued, "Because I thought..."

Unspoken words lingered in the air and Bella could only stare at him, mouth agape, her mind racing and tumbling, refusing to settle on what her heart knew he meant. She berated herself for not starting with small talk.

"Oh my God," she whispered to herself as she clenched her eyes shut. This simply could not be happening. A social visit between two old friends - yes, she could handle that. When she had opened the door and seen him there, the shock she had been expecting to feel had never arrived, and she had realized that there had always been a small part of her that had suspected she would see Edward again, some day.

So much time had passed, she had assumed that if, or when, he turned up again, there would somehow be an intrinsic shift in their relationship. So much time had passed and she had changed so much. In her mind, everything was different. She was an _old _woman, and she had almost welcomed the idea that, despite their history together, there might be a future for them as friends. Without the burden of physical attraction and sexual tension to complicate things, perhaps they could just enjoy each other's company again, as friends.

Just friends.

But that wasn't how he saw it, obviously.

She couldn't believe that he was here and expecting _that_. The absurdity of it all began to hit home and her small frame erupted into laughter, the sound echoing across the room. Images of them _together_ flooded her mind - wrong and awkward, and simply impossible. He was insane, that was the only explanation.

Composing herself for a minute, Bella wiped the tears from her eyes, holding back another burst of laughter. Edward watched her, his face impassive, but she could see the flash of pain that echoed in his eyes.

"Can you not see this wrinkled, lumpy flesh?" She looked down at her swollen knuckles, at the age-spots on the back of her hand, at her bent fingers and loose paper-thin skin. How could he want this body that time had claimed and marked as its own, this body that was slowly failing her?

"Good God, Edward, how the hell can you still want me, when I look like _this _and you look like _that_?" she said incredulously as she waved her hand toward him; the vision of youth and longevity.

Saying it out loud made it seem even more ludicrous, and Bella shook her head in disbelief. Never, ever, in a million years had she expected Edward would seek her out again and ask this of her.

"I still love you," he said softly. She could hear his dismay, his disappointment, his disbelief that she was turning him down.

"I'm _old_, Edward. You really think...?" She couldn't bring herself to say the words.

"I've never stopped loving you, Bella. I've gone over and over my decision, and I know that, at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. Only now, I know I was wrong. I'm sorry. Words can't express how sorry I am. If I could go back and change it, I would. It was all a terrible mistake, and I'm so very sorry."

The sincerity in his words made her heart ache. Why was he here, telling her this? She had spent so much energy putting her regrets to rest and trying to move on, the last thing she wanted to hear was that he thought he'd made a _mistake_.

A mistake was forgetting to buy milk. A mistake was taking the wrong exit off the high-way. A mistake was wearing black pants with brown shoes. Insinuating that his decision was a mistake and lumping it with the same importance as these insignificant life-moments was insulting. It made a mockery of everything she had been through, trivialized her whole life to something meaningless, to something that didn't matter, something _wrong_.

His decision had altered and shaped _everything_. She shook her head. He didn't get to come here and make it all about him. This was _her life_ he was disregarding with his throwaway comment.

"Well, it's too late for our happy ending now, Edward. It took me a very long time to accept the hand that fate dealt me, but I did. You made your decision, and I made mine. I chose a human life, and I have to live it the best that I can. Maybe its time you stopped holding on to the past and accepted it, too."

"What if I told you that I changed my mind?"

Bella sat stunned, thinking she must have misheard him.

"Sorry? _What_?"

"I was wrong. I admit that. I have no right to ask this of you, but please forgive me. I want to make it right. Now." His amber eyes held her gaze; pleading, begging.

"What? Wait! You're not offering to change me..._are you_?"

He didn't say a word; he didn't need to. The answer was written all over him. His body practically radiated with yearning and longing, hope and desperation etched across his perfect face.

In that instant, she could almost see the ribbons of absolute and endless love that bound her to him.

Her heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. Decades of careful reconstruction, the infinitely slow repair of her heart after the loss of him, years of healing and learning to love again; all that effort and time lost in an instant. Each tiny splinter that crashed to the floor, a treasured moment from her human life. Every cherished and happy moment now tarnished with the stain of deceit; this nightmare of unfathomable betrayal.

She held her head in her hands as the weight of what he was offering threatened to pull her into the depths and drown her. She felt the waves of despair crash over her as everything she had forced herself to believe simply washed away and disappeared.

_How could he do this to her?_

Anguish and humiliation and loss overwhelmed her as the darkest moments of her life flashed before her eyes. Every moment she had spent agonizing over the loss of him; empty and alone because he wasn't there. Every moment she had faltered and wasted on regret, hating herself for what _she _had done. Every moment she had felt guilty for moving on and loving again.

Every single one of those moments had been a step closer to death. This greyed and withered version of herself was his making. He had as good as sentenced her to death, denying her the chance to live a life free from the agony of aging.

All of this was his fault - him and his irrefutable arguments, his iron-clad decision, his insistence, his fucking arrogance.

And now, after all these years, he had the audacity to come here and offer her the only thing he had ever refused her. Everything she had ever wanted, he had laid it for her at her feet. Everything she had ever needed or desired; hers in the blink of an eye.

Eternity, by his side, was the one and only thing he had ever denied her.

Gone was the disbelief and the incredulous nervous laughter; in its place was pure anger. Resentment and indignation burned through her, and she rose to her feet, aching body forgotten as the fury rose up inside her.

"How dare you?" she seethed as she stalked over to him. "You come here with your fucking rose and your _But I still love you, Bella_ and expect me to...what exactly? Fall into your arms and beg you to take me back? And if that doesn't work you're going to pull out the big guns and offer to change me?" She threw the rose at him and watched as it flew through the air, glancing off his frozen body.

"You bastard. You fucking selfish bastard!" she glowered at him, hands curled in fists at her side as the anger surged through her body.

"I was wrong. I'm sorry. I've had a long time to think and..."

He could plead all he wanted, but he would hear what she had to say first.

"_You've had a long time to think?_ " Bella interrupted him, rage boiling in her veins. "Jesus! Were you always this self-absorbed? Well newsflash, Edward. While you've been angsting over whether you made the right decision or not, I've been slowly _dying_. Every single second of every single day I get older and older, and closer to death. There's nothing like knowing you have a death sentence hanging over your head to get you _thinking_. And you know what? I thought about you and I thought about your decision and I learned to live with it. So...this? You coming to me, now? This is nothing short of insulting. I can't believe you would come here and offer me that, after all this time! You can take your change of heart and go to fucking hell!"

Bella was breathless with the exertion of yelling at him, and her petite frame shook with the storm of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.

"I love you, Bella. Why is that so hard for you to accept? I just want us to be together." Edward at least had the grace to look apologetic, but it did little to calm Bella's indignant rage.

"Well, you should have thought of that when you had the chance," she retorted as she paced the floor in front of him.

"We have that chance again, now. If you'll just let me explain," he begged, his voice soft and pleading.

"Edward, you can't just turn up here out of the blue and ask me to give up everything. I have a child, a daughter, for fuck's sake. And I love her more than life itself. I can't turn my back on her and say goodbye. I can't just leave her - she needs her mother. And I need her! I can't give up the chance to see her children, to hold my grandchildren in my arms. You're asking me to give up my life, my happiness, and for what? A fairytale romance that ended decades ago? We're not children anymore, Edward."

Jesus, despite his age, sometimes he still acted like the naive teenager he appeared to be, she thought to herself angrily.

The idea of never seeing Mary again made her feel sick to her stomach. She had longed to have a child for so long, and being a mother had made her so happy - so complete. Mary meant the world to her, and she simply couldn't reconcile a future that didn't have her in it.

Before she could blink, Edward was on his feet and glaring at her.

"You make it sound like it means nothing to you. That I mean nothing to you. I know you still love me, Bella. Just like I still love you. We were made for each other. I can't keep doing this without you." His voice was even, but she could hear the threads of anger and desperation in his tone.

"We could have had forever, Edward. Don't you get it? _You _threw it away. _You _were the one that turned your back on us. You say that you love me like you think it's the band-aid that will fix everything. It's too late, don't you see? You had your chance, but you were so blinded by your own skewed ideas of right and wrong, you couldn't see what was staring you right in the face. _You _broke us, Edward."

"It was you who left me, remember," Edward spat at her as he glowered at her. His honey eyes had turned hard as topaz, glinting with past hurts and desperation.

"Only because you forced my hand. You think I could have stayed with you for the rest of my life? Found a way to 'get over' the fact that I was dying slowly in front of you? That somehow I could ignore that every breath I took was one breath closer to death? Do you really think I would have tortured you like that? I left because I loved you, Edward. I couldn't do that to you, to either of us."

How dare he make out like this was _her _fault. The realization that, after all this time, they were arguing over who was to blame, only made her angrier.

"I know I was wrong, Bella. I'm so sorry. I just want to make it right. I want a future for the two of us, together."

"It's too late!" she screamed at him. It was too late. Decades too late. He had no right to expect this of her now. He was asking her to give up everything. To give up _her child. _

Visions of herself with golden eyes and flawless skin flashed through her mind. She could see herself so clearly; not Bella with short grey hair and eyes framed with crow's feet, not Bella in an old and tired body. She was young and beautiful, holding Edward's hand as he gazed at her lovingly.

They were perfect.

That was the Bella she had once thought her future-self would become. That was the future that had been denied her, but that she had wanted so very badly. A broken sob escaped her chest as she realized that was the future a part of her still wanted. The same part of her that still loved Edward, that still clung to a distant and obscure hope that one day they would be together; forever.

Tears soaked her cheeks as her thoughts turned, once again, to her beloved daughter. Mary was her best friend, the most important person in her life; and a future by Edward's side would mean she would never be able to see her again. Her heart clenched and her breath caught in her throat as she realized she would never see her own daughter fall in love, never stand by her side on her wedding day, never be there to welcome her daughter's children into the world. Her daughter still needed her mother's love and support.

He had no idea of what he was asking her to give up.

Her mind was a chaotic jumble of alternate futures; visions of herself, her daughter, Edward, tumbled over each other, merging, morphing, fading in and out as she tried to figure out exactly what it was she wanted.

If only he had changed her, back when she was a teenager.

She grimaced. Regret was no friend of hers, and she didn't want to go down its dark path again. She had spent so long learning how to move on, to be happy with her lot in life. Learning how to be strong.

And now her greatest fear was standing in the very same room, begging her to choose a new path. What if she wasn't strong? What if the part of her that was entertaining the idea of choosing eternity instead of death was going to give in? What if, in fact, she was weak?

In years to come, Mary would find someone who loved her, would live her own life, have her own children. In years to come, her mother's presence in her life would cease to have the same importance. What if he came back and begged her again? What if Edward haunted her for the rest of her days; tempting and persuading? Would the part of her that had chosen a human life always remain dominant?

She doubted she would be able to resist. And if she didn't? Then everything she had been through, both the agony and the joy, _her life_; it would all have been for nothing.

She had made her choice, and now she was going to choose it all over again.

"Please, Bella. I'll give you whatever you want." Edward's heartfelt pleas broke her silent conflict.

"Anything?"

"Anything."

She had asked him to change her and he had refused. She asked him to let her live the human life he was so desperate for her to have, but he hadn't been able to leave her in peace. Now, buoyed by determination and an acceptance of the life she had chosen all those years ago, she was going to ask him for the hardest thing of all.

"Leave me alone. I don't ever want to see you again. Ever. Get out of my house, get out of my life, and never _ever _come back. That's what I want."

"Bella, please..." Edward said, sinking to his knees in front of her. "Please don't do this."

"It's over, Edward. It's been over for years. I've moved on, I have another life now. One that can't include you."

"...please...please...please..." he whispered as he clung to her feet, worshiping her, loving her with everything he had.

She forced herself to keep speaking the lies, knowing it was the only way.

"I don't want to ever see you again." She grit her teeth, swallowing back the tears, and forcing herself to take a deep breath. Her heart split in two with a thundering, life-altering crack.

Then she spoke the words she knew would break him forever.

"I don't love you anymore, Edward."

* * *

**A/N:  
I feel the need to apologize for the angst, even though this chapter was alluded to in the prologue so it shouldn't have come as a complete surprise. I'm sorry Missypooh!**

**Thank you to Becauseshecan for prereading, and to Betham and Vanpirenz for their beautiful beta work.**

**Thanks for reading x  
**


	24. EARNEST

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: EARNEST  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxEDWARD  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters. There are some direct quotes in this chapter.

Bella is 18.

* * *

Edward closed his eyes, a groan of ecstasy escaping his lips as he slowly slid inside her. She was so tight and hot, so silky smooth; so unbelievably amazing.

He would have her like this all the time if he could; it was never enough. This overwhelming feeling of completeness was as close to heaven as he would ever get.

He smiled against her neck as she moaned in pleasure. Her hands clutched at his back as he stretched and filled her, gently pushing against her delicate body.

"More," she whispered against his ear, her sweet breath washing over him.

Slowly, carefully, he thrust into her, over and over again. In his mind he was pounding into her, his desire burning through him as he buried himself as deep as he could. In his mind he was closer, deeper, faster, but his body knew how hard was enough. No matter where his mind went, the control was locked firmly in place. He knew where both of their limits were; knew how to love her and keep her safe.

He could feel her tightening around him, her velvet heat embracing him as he moved inside her. Little moans of ecstasy floated on the air around them, her quickened breath and racing heart keeping time as he listened in awe to the sounds of their love-making.

She arched her back as she started to slip over the edge, pushing her throat against his mouth. He licked the beads of sweat off her skin, feeling the venom pool in his mouth as he tasted the saltiness of her.

_Like drops of blood._

Suddenly, all he could feel was her pulse thundering under her impossibly-thin satin skin. Her carotid artery throbbing against his frozen lips, the blood pulsing through her delicate veins.

Without ever tasting her before, he knew her blood would be sublime. Ambrosia.

His mind imagined how euphoric it would be to taste her, how exhilarating it would be to sink his teeth into her neck; how orgasmic it would be to have her in the most forbidden and erotic of ways.

Edward grimaced as his teeth grazed across her fragile skin. He knew he was dancing on the razor's edge that separated sex and death, love and loss, but he embraced the danger. His dark fantasies pushed him towards release and he reveled in the lust that swept through him.

She gasped as her orgasm overwhelmed her, but she didn't call out his name like she usually did.

"Bite me," she pleaded.

At her words, he exploded, snarling into her neck as he shot his vampire cum into the last fading pulses of her orgasm.

He came down quickly, sated, but horrified by the turn of events.

He rolled off her quickly, sitting up and pulling on his jeans in one fluid and inhumanly fast motion. Raking his fingers through his hair, a deep frown furrowed his face; he couldn't look at her.

Speechless, he stood and turned his back on her, pacing a worried path through the wildflowers that covered the meadow in a fragrant, purple carpet. Their meadow. Their special place where they could hide from the world. Their sanctuary.

Usually they came here to escape, to relax, to talk, to make love. This was a place of peace for them. Only now, he found himself in turmoil, aghast at the danger he had put her in, despising himself for letting dark and forbidden fantasies overwhelm him.

And Bella. What the hell had she been thinking?

"Edward?" Bella called to him, hesitantly.

"You can't say things like that, Bella." Edward spun to face her again. He knew he was glaring at her, knew he must look formidable and angry, but the unease was making his whole body strained, and he couldn't calm himself.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know it was stupid. I just...got carried away." Bella blushed, scarlet blood rushing to the surface of her skin. She collected her scattered clothing and pulled them on hurriedly, her embarrassment and discomfort palpable.

"I wasn't being serious," she whispered as she walked over to where he stood, tense and rigid. Cautiously, she took his hands in hers. The feel of her warm, soft skin was just another reminder of her fragility. "I'm sorry." Her thumbs rubbed over his icy skin as she tried to soothe him with her touch.

Edward wanted to believe her. He wanted more than anything to believe that she'd simply been overcome in the moment, that her vampire fantasy was just that; a fantasy. He clenched his eyes shut, trying to stop his brain from jumping to the obvious conclusion. When he finally opened them again and searched her eyes for the thoughts he couldn't read in her mind, he was devastated to realize that there was an emotion there he had hoped to never see.

Regret.

"We've been through this, Bella," he said softly, his own remorse washing over him as he realized there was a part of her that had hoped he might give in.

"I know!" she snapped at him as she dropped his hands. "I said I was sorry. Just...forget I said anything." Now it was her turn to pace amongst the flowers, her bare feet crushing their soft petals and filling the air with their floral scent.

"Bella, please..." He hated it when she walked away from him, and in a second he was by her side. He rubbed her shoulders softly. "Talk to me."

"It's just...it's so unfair! There must be a way, surely. I just don't accept that there is no way around this. There must be something we can do..." Bella's eyes filled with tears and he brought his hand to her face, tenderly wiping away the little drops of anguish that escaped.

"Bella, I wish there was. It's just...impossible. I'm sorry. If there were any way for me to become human for you — no matter what the price was, I would pay it." He wished that it was as simple as that. He had spent so many lonely nights imagining himself as a man, a human that could give her the human life she deserved. Images of them both, old and grey, hand in hand after sharing a lifetime together, haunted him. If there was anything that could make that happen, he would do it.

"Exactly. And I would do the same. I would do _anything_, Edward. You know that." Her voice shook with her desperation, and it made him cringe.

"But the price you would have to pay is too great, Bella. I couldn't live with myself, knowing that you had given up your soul for me. I'll never know an after-life, if...when, this existence ends. I can't do that to you. I can't make you a monster, too." He grimaced. If there was a final destination for those like him, it would surely be Hell. There were some sins that could never be forgiven.

"You know I don't believe that. You are too kind, too generous, too loving. I simply don't accept that you don't have a soul, Edward."

"You don't know what you're asking for. This isn't a life - it's a torturous existence. There is no way I could subject you to this agony. You have no idea what it's like to constantly have to fight the bloodlust. To control the natural instinct to kill. That's what we are, Bella, we're killers. I'm a murderer, I've killed people. And even though I found a new way to live, the memories of that time will never fade. The demon still lives inside me. What if I slip up one day, what if I kill again? It could happen. What if I can no longer fight the part of me that craves human blood? Being a vampire is not sexy or romantic. It's horrific. You are so much better than this, Bella. I could never make you live this life, never let you suffer like this."

Bella scowled at him, and he saw the disbelief in her eyes. Of course, she would never truly understand how hard it was for him. She saw what he wanted her to see: the carefully constructed control, the measured responses, the calm exterior. She never saw the monster that lurked deep inside him, the part of himself that he loathed. She never saw the turmoil, or the effort it took to keep his emotions and instincts in check.

"Bella, whatever happens in your life, it would be better than becoming like me. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night, and that's the end of it." His tone was clipped and he knew he probably sounded cruel, but he had to make her understand; she didn't want this.

"But if you don't change me, I will die. How can that be better?" she cried.

He wrapped her in his arms, scooping her up and pulling her to his chest as he sat on the blanket where they had made love just minutes before. Her tears wet his shirt as she wept against him, her sobs making her whole body shake.

The self-hatred surged through him. He was the cause of her anguish, he was to blame for the despair that was breaking her right before his eyes. But as much as he hated himself for the despicable choice he was having to make, he knew it simply had to be this way.

He loved her with everything he was; he just wanted what was best for her. He just wanted her to be happy. The only thing he could do was trust that the choice he was making would give her that.

He kissed the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her, all sweet girl and salt tears. "I want you to be human. I want your life to continue as it would have if I'd died in 1918 like I should have. I want you to be free to experience everything that a human life has to offer. There is so much you would have to sacrifice if you were changed. Your friends, your family - you would have to leave them, and then watch them all die. You would live a life of lies, always hiding who you were, never letting anyone get too close in case they find out the secret. It's too much to ask, Bella. It would be incredibly foolish and selfish of me to expect you to give all of that up, for me."

"I know you don't expect it, but I would! I would give it all up for you, to have you forever. To have _us _forever." she murmured. She raised her eyes to him, pleaded with him through wet lashes and puffy lids. She looked so vulnerable, so sweet in her sadness.

Images of Bella as a vampire flooded his mind. She was beautiful now, but she would be exquisite as a vampire. He could imagine the shine in her golden eyes as she gazed at him lovingly, content in her new life.

Eternity with her by his side was the only thing that could possibly be better than what they had now.

But eternity was the only thing he couldn't sentence her to. She had no idea how unrelenting time was when there was simply no end to it. Even he had trouble sometimes, trying to grasp how long he would walk the earth, how long this torture would last. Years would give way to decades. Centuries would pass by in the blink of an eye. He would be alive for eons. Eternity was the stuff of romantic fairy-tales. Only, he knew that the reality was more like a horror story. He wouldn't wish this existence on his worst enemy, let alone someone he loved.

If he was to want anything in his life, it was for an end; an end to the suffering, an end to the pain of forever.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, knowing his platitudes were inadequate.

"Please, Edward. Please..." She threw her arms around his neck, clinging to him as she begged.

Begged for him to bite her.

He groaned. He might have his own dark fantasies about biting her, but he knew it was too dangerous. She couldn't keep pleading with him, pushing him like this. He had to make her see - whatever argument, whatever plea; he couldn't do it.

"I can't, Bella. What if I couldn't stop myself in time? What if I went too far and drained you? What if I _killed _you?" He shuddered as the thought of Bella lying broken and bleeding in his arms flashed through his mind. Denying her this was almost more than he could bear, but the thought of what it would actually involve was enough to keep his desires firmly in check.

His memories of another time, a time of indulgence, of blood-fuelled madness, rocked him. He remembered all too well how intoxicating it was to feed from a human, to swallow mouthfuls of the delicious blood that would actually sate and fulfill him; the only thing that would stop the burn in his throat. Never once had he stopped before draining a body completely. Never once had he pulled his too-sharp teeth from a living body.

"I'm not strong enough," he said, loathing the truth he had to remind her of -he was a monster.

"What about Alice? I know she would do it if I asked her," Bella said defiantly. There was a new glimmer of hope in her eyes and she sat up. "There has to be a way."

Edward couldn't bring himself to tell Bella that he had forbidden it, that he had told his whole family that changing Bella was not an option - no matter how much she begged them. But, it wasn't just Edward that had decided Bella must stay a human.

The Volturi, the keepers of vampire law and order, the quasi-rulers of his world, were emphatic: the Cullen coven was not to grow. With their alternative lifestyle and their family-like arrangement, they were already a curiosity. The Volturi were wary of this group of vampires, with their gifts and strange ways. Threats must be managed and minimized. They had decreed it, and so it must be.

Edward knew that the Volturi brand of justice was swift and deadly. He would be risking the lives of his entire family if he went against their decision.

"The Volturi would kill us all, Bella." Even as he reiterated what he had already explained to her, a part of him was wishing that they could live as nomads, wandering the world together. It was an idea he had toyed with ever since the Volturi had sent their emissary to deliver their warning. But it would be a life spent on the run, always looking over their shoulders. The Volturi did not give second chances and vengeance would be theirs, even if they had to hunt them for the rest of their days.

Bella looked crestfallen as his words sunk in. "What about when I'm old? You can't tell me you will still love me when I'm old and wrinkled." Her voice was barely a whisper.

He didn't hesitate. "I will always love you. No matter what. Always."

He was under no illusion that the path ahead of them would be fraught with challenges, but even as he accepted that it would be difficult, he was certain that his love for her would overcome any obstacle.

"We can make this work, Bella. I know we can."

At that moment he was absolutely certain that whatever happened, he would love her forever.

"I want to believe you, so much...but..." Her hesitation made the unnecessary breath he had just taken, catch in his throat. Maybe it wasn't about how much he loved her, but whether she loved him enough.

Maybe he needed to love her enough to let her go. After all, that was the reality of the future he was choosing. One day, death would steal her from him and he would have no choice but to let her go.

"Bella, I love you more than everything else in the world combined. It was hideously selfish of me to give in to the desire to be with you. If I was strong, I would have walked away that first day I saw you, and let you live your life the way it should have been lived in the first place. But I'm weak. I fell in love the moment I set eyes on you, and I couldn't stay away. I know it was wrong, but I am thankful that I got to have one short year of love with you. I love you more than I can put into words, but I will let you go if that's what you want."

"No!" The conviction in her instant reaction resparked the beat in his frozen heart. "I love you, Edward. I will always love you. Forever."

He couldn't offer her immortality, but there was one thing he could give her; his vow, his promise.

_"Bella, I promise to love you forever - every single day of forever."_

_

* * *

  
_

**A/N:  
Grateful thanks to Becauseshecan for pre-reading and helping me finetune some of Edward's thoughts. I owe Vanpirenz a bottle of bubbly for her help on this one. She ALWAYS makes everything better. And of course, my heartfelt thanks to Betham for her magic red pen skills.**

**It's hard to believe we're almost at the end now. The final chapter is finished and will be posted before the end of the weekend. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me x  
**


	25. ALONE

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: ALONE  
Pen name: SWEETP-1  
Pairing: BELLAxEDWARD  
Rating: M

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters.

Bella is 91. Yes. Get your tissues out.

* * *

During the day, the nurses came to check on her every few hours, waking her tired body with their patient hands. She could tell from their subtle frowns that, whatever it was that they measured and noted on her chart, it wasn't good.

She didn't need their sad smiles to know she didn't have much time left.

Her bones ached, and her muscles were so weak she could do little more than lay useless and immobile against the starched sheets. Just taking a breath was an effort that left her exhausted.

She knew that death would come for her soon, and when it finally did, it would be a relief.

Her final days were endless and lonely, the silence and emptiness broken only by the bustle of the nurses and the steadfast visits by her family each morning. Once, she would have welcomed their company, but now their pitied glances and the halfhearted smiles that didn't reach their eyes, just made the time pass even slower.

From the confines of her hospital bed she could see out the window, and she spent her days alone, watching the clouds pass through the sky, letting the gradual shift and change of white against blue lull her off to sleep. Her body may have been feeble, but her dreams were still vivid.

_"Play something for me?"_

_Edward smiled indulgently, and then led her by the hand to the grand piano that was the centerpiece of the living area in the Cullen's expansive house._

_Gracefully, he sat at the bench and pulled her down to sit beside him._

_He began to play, and she watched in awe as his nimble fingers danced over the black and white keys. The room echoed with the sweetest melody she had ever heard, and it made her heart swell as her mind filled with images of love; of Edward._

_She had never heard a piece of music so entrancing, so moving before. Never before had a song touched her very soul._

_After the music faded away, Edward moved his hands to her face, gently wiping away the tears she didn't know she had shed._

_"Don't cry, sweetheart," he said gently, pressing his cold lips to her cheeks as if to erase the tear stains from her skin._

_"I'm sorry, it was just so beautiful," she said, embarrassed by her show of emotion._

_"It is beautiful. It's what I wrote when all I could think of was you."_

"Bella? Bella, wake up, honey."

She was vaguely aware that someone was gently shaking her from her memories, pulling her from the comfort of his arms, and back into the pain of her ancient body.

"You have a visitor." Bella tried to let go of the music that was still wrapped around her heart as the nurse deftly lifted her up in the bed, easily manipulating her frail limbs. She used the lever on the side of the bed to raise the mattress and carefully placed another pillow behind her head. She then paused and tucked a stray lock of grey hair behind Bella's ear.

"Do you need anything?"

Bella shook her head. Mary and Daniel had already been in to see her that morning. Hadn't they? Or, had that been yesterday? They always came in the mornings, but she'd had lunch already today. Hadn't she? _What time was it?_ Shaking her head in confusion, Bella sighed as she realized that just like time, lucidity was slowly slipping away from her.

With a soft smile, the nurse left the room. Bella absentmindedly toyed with the edge of the cashmere shawl that was tucked around her shoulders while she waited for her family.

He entered the room so quietly. It wasn't until she heard his pained whisper that she realized he was standing just inside the doorway.

"Bella." Her name fell from his lips, hushed and quiet, and weighed down with sadness.

A strangled cry escaped her, even as her gnarled and wrinkled hand flew to her mouth to try and hold it in. She could only stare at the boy who had once been her lover, her best friend; the love of her life.

_Edward_.

Her eyes filled with tears, and furiously she tried to blink them away so that she could see him better. Part of her was convinced this was just another dream, an apparition conjured up by her failing mind. But with each teary blink, he remained standing in her room. A vision from her past.

_Her Edward._

Hesitantly, he took a step toward the narrow bed that filled the tiny room.

"How...?" she wheezed, her voice faint and weak.

"I got your letter," he said softly. He reached inside his jacket pocket and removed an envelope. It was worn and wrinkled, like it had been handled and opened a thousand times over. Slowly, he took the final few steps to close the distance between them, and stood by her bedside.

She wiped at her eyes with wrinkled hands, desperately wanting to see him better.

Though her eyes were weak, she could see he was still as handsome as ever, just like she knew he would be. He was so beautiful; she would never grow tired of gazing at him. The sight of him, there in her room, made her heart skip a beat, and she hardly dared to believe her eyes.

He turned the envelope over, and handed it to her. She reached for it, grimacing at the sight of his pale flawless skin and his long slender fingers. Her own fingers were bent and swollen, and she could barely grasp the outstretched paper.

She pulled it to her face, squinting as her eyes made out the words scrawled on the back of the envelope. In unfamiliar handwriting, next to the blue hospital address stamped near the bottom, were the words '_It's always best to say your good-byes in person. Room 13-06_'.

Bella found herself smiling, quietly glad that the nurse had ignored her wishes. She handed him back the envelope that held the heart-felt letter she had written just days before.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Edward's face fell, and he reached for her hand, bringing it to his cold lips. The shock of feeling his icy skin once again was almost too much to bear, and she gasped as the memories and emotions tore through her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Bella," he implored as he kissed the palm of her hand. "Nothing."

She closed her eyes, willing the tears to stay back, lest they steal him from her sight again.

"I am the one..." he began, but she cut him off, surprising herself with the strength of her raspy voice.

"Let's not waste our time on blame and regret, Edward. I don't have much time left."

He clutched her hand tighter, leaning over her so he could bring her open hand against his chest where his heart once beat. His face was pinched with grief, and he gazed at her with his golden eyes.

"I'm going to miss you...so much." His head dropped, and she knew if he could shed tears, his cheeks would be wet with his sorrow. She could see his jaw flexing with the effort of holding his emotions in check, and the sight of him so wounded made her heart ache.

She lifted her hand and stroked his tousled bronze hair. It was as soft as she remembered, and it slipped through her fingers like silk. She closed her eyes, fighting back the memories of all the other times she had run her fingers through his hair. There was nothing she could say that would make this easier, and all she had to offer him was the comfort of her touch.

"I would have come sooner," he said as he lifted his head, pain etched across his face.

"I know," she smiled at him apologetically. She had thought that if he was to come to her, it would be too painful - for them both. She had thought that memories of another time would be enough.

But she had been so wrong.

She'd never been as happy to see Edward as she was in that moment, and her heart broke as she realized she might never have been able to see him one last time if the nurse had done as she had asked.

Now she had her chance to tell him to his face, make him understand how much he meant to her.

"I love you," she sobbed, the words coming out cracked and pained. There was so much more to say, but her body wouldn't co-operate, cries falling from her mouth instead of apologies and assurances.

"Oh, Bella," Edward whispered as he cradled her face in his hands. He gently raised her face to his, as if willing her to see through her tears to the truth of his words. "I will never stop loving you. I will love you to the end of my days. Forever."

She nodded her head, knowing that if she tried to speak it would only make the tears flow faster. She hoped he would see in her eyes the words she couldn't say.

Silently, he gazed at her, and she could see the love for her glowing in the depths of his amber eyes. She remembered the first time she ever saw him, how intrigued she was by their color; liquid honey, precious gold. How he had stolen glances at her across the Biology desk, her skin prickling under his gaze.

Over the years, she had learned to read his moods by watching the color of his eyes. As he stared at her now, all she could see in the golden depths were love and loss and longing.

Edward frowned in concentration, slowly bringing his head down to hers, watching her face, as he silently asked her permission, begging her. She closed her eyes as, ever so softly, he placed a tender kiss on her lips.

_"Moonlight."_

_He laughed. "I taste like moonlight?"_

_"Yup!" She grinned at him as she twirled a strand of her long mahogany hair in her fingers. "And something else, too. Why don't you kiss me again, and I'll try and figure out what it is."_

_He was only too happy to oblige, grabbing her waist and spinning her around in his arms, before kissing her passionately._

_She could feel his hunger, and she instantly recognized his overwhelming need for her, because it was the exact same way she felt about him._

_His lips were as hard as diamonds, and she reveled in the feel of his ice-cold mouth against her own warm skin. She moaned against him as his tongue flicked against hers, and the taste of him filled her mouth._

_She pulled away from him with a wide smile. "Toffee! Moonlight and Toffee!"_

She woke with a start, disoriented and confused. For the shortest of moments, she thought she was back in her old bedroom at her father's weatherboard house in Forks. She could almost hear the wind rustling through the trees in the forest behind the house, and smell the coffee Charlie was brewing downstairs in the kitchen.

An agonized sob ripped through the air as reality crashed down around her. She wasn't back in her bedroom with its purple bedspread and creaky floorboards. She was in her hospital bed, in the tiny sterile room that smelled of bleach and grief; the place where death would finally seek her out.

Waking from dreams of Edward was the worst kind of torture. The memories that haunted her sleep were filled with visions of him, and they only made the loneliness cut more deeply.

_Edward_.

A movement in the corner of the darkening room made her gasp. He moved quickly out of the shadows to her side, concern and anxiety marring his handsome features.

"Bella? Are you okay?" he asked her softly.

"You're really here?" she said, with a bewildered smile. She had thought he was just another dream, another moment of happiness she would eventually wake from.

He smiled at her sadly. "Yes, I'm really here." He reached for the glass of water on her beside table, offering it to her before pulling the blankets up around her.

Gratefully, she took a long sip of the water, feeling it soothing her parched throat and bringing relief to her chapped, dried lips. She glanced out the window. Night time was descending and the room was almost dark; visiting hours would be over very soon.

As if reading her thoughts, he gently took her hand in his. "When the nurse comes back, I'll have to go." She flinched at his words, unable to bear the thought of him leaving her so soon, but he continued hurriedly, "But if you would like me to, I could come back...later."

"Please?" She hated how needy she sounded, but just a few hours with him was not long enough. The time she had left was precious now, and she didn't want to waste a single second of it.

"Bella, I'll never, ever leave you alone again," he whispered as he touched his lips to her forehead.

Just then, the nurse swept through the door, and Edward touched Bella's hand with a soft smile as he turned to go. The nurse chatted away as she performed the last checks and observations of the day before scribbling on the chart that hung on the end of her bed. Bella barely heard a word she said, lost in her own thoughts and marveling at the fact she had seen her beloved Edward again.

The nurse flicked off her bedside lamp. "Goodnight, Bella. I'll see you in the morning," she said as she clicked the door shut.  
_  
"But if I lose you, what have I left to hope for?" Edward quoted, his voice deep and gravelly in her ear._

_She sighed wistfully, reaching her hand out to carefully touch the intricately carved monument that marked the lovers' crypt. The cold stone held so much history, so many stories of times past, she could almost feel the memories brushing against her fingertips._

_It was hard to believe she was really here at the grave of Heloise and Abelard._

_There were other tourists milling around the site. A group posed for a photo in front of the pillars, while others tucked handwritten letters into the crypt's delicate stonework. Bella smiled. She had no need to leave a token for the celebrated lovers. She had already found her true love._

_Edward came to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "Okay?" he asked quietly. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Her emotions were running too close to the surface, and she didn't want to end up a weepy mess._

_They stood in silence for a few moments, breathing in the wintry Paris air and enjoying the comfort of each other's arms._

She opened her eyes. It was sometime in the depths of the night, and everything was pitch black. She didn't need to see him to know he was there.

"Edward?" she called anxiously.

She heard a quiet click and then her bedside lamp was casting a soft glow across the room.

"I'm right here," he said, from beside her bed. She turned to the sound of his voice, reaching for him. _He was too far away_. Desperately, she grasped his hand, needing him closer. They had spent so long apart, the thought of letting him go again made her insides twist, the despair rising like bile in her throat.

Her breathing was ragged and strained, the sound of her failing lungs rasping out too-short breaths echoed across the room. She winced at how pitiful she sounded, hating herself for not having more strength. Desperately, she wished that she had more time.

In the night, the pain was always worse, the weariness would weigh down on her limbs, pushing on her chest and threatening to suffocate her. Tonight it seemed even more tenacious, an iron grip constricted her heart, and the pain was vivid and raw against her bones.

She didn't need to say anything. He just gently moved her over before carefully climbing onto the bed beside her. He reached back and clicked the light off again, and then cradled her weak , fragile body in his arms. She curled up on her side against him, feeling herself relax into his embrace.

"I'm not going anywhere," he murmured against the top of her head, leaving little soft kisses against her hair.

"Thank you..." she whispered against his chest. She clenched her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears from escaping, "...for everything." The effort of speaking was almost too much to bear, and she could feel her heart stuttering in her chest.

Saying good-bye was infinitely more painful than anything time could have inflicted on her.

His arms pulled tighter as she spoke, and she imagined his love was wrapping around her, holding the broken pieces of her body together. His strong embrace a shield from the agony in her heart, the cool relief of his body soothing the physical pain that was making the breath catch in her throat.

His sweet breath washed over her, and she closed her eyes as his tender kisses made the world fade away around her.

She was no longer an old woman on the edge of death.

She was young and beautiful, her long mahogany hair sweeping across the pillow that she shared with her lover.

"I'll always love you, Bella," he whispered into the darkness.

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**A/N:  
I am beyond nervous posting this last chapter. I hope this was what you were expecting, and I hope I did it justice.**

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**Long ass end of story notes and thank yous:**

***SOB* My first ever chaptered story is done! I was hopelessly naive when I signed up for the Twi25 and totally underestimated how much of a challenge this would be. It's been an awesome ride and I have learnt SO much over the past few months. While there are *cough* a few things that I would do differently if I was to do it over again (or if I wasn't trying to rush to meet an insanely tight deadline) I'm beyond happy to be able to hit the complete button on this.**

**Thank you to my faithful readers. There was a small, loyal little bunch who reviewed every single chapter and to those of you especially - my heartfelt gratitude. To everyone who read, reviewed, alerted, and fav'd - thank you.**

**I couldn't have done this without my brilliant beta, Betham. Always there to gchat when I needed it, always turning things around with lightning speed, always saying just what I needed to hear. She never once complained about my punctuation fail. ILY, bb. Srsly.**

**And Vanpirenz. Still makes me grin to think I found you here. You rock my world. Thank you seems terribly inadequate but please know it is heartfelt. You make everything better.**

**Thank you also to Becauseshecan for making sure I kept things on track for the last few chapters.**

**I'm not opposed to the idea of outtakes for this so if there is something in particular you wished I had done, or a missing moment that you want to see then let me know. Just... please don't ask me to do EPOV for this last chapter - I dont know if my heart could take it. No promises on when, so click the author alert. Next up for me is another chapter or 2 for Once we were Kings , my black balloon entry. I'm deliriously excited that Kings made it through for the public vote - the poll is open now!**

**Thank you for reading x**


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